A2Kers...Need Advice...Again.

Maybe you need more sex?

haha.. Im kidding of course. :-)

Why does it bother YOU that you are getting " over sensative"? Being sensative isnt a bad thing. And if you KNOW you are sensative then you can - keep it in check- so to speak.
But why do you feel like it is a bad thing to the point that you need to change it?
It sounds like just a part of who you are. ;-)
THAT isnt a bad thing.

It might be a bad thing if it drifts into paranoia.

Kristie, I am the same and I've figured out that it comes from my periods of insecurity and self doubt.
These periods are a mild form of depression...but I'm not saying that's what's happening to you. It's just me.

how long has it been going on, kristie?











the holidays are always a rough time. lowering expectations is tricky, but necessary. <grrrrrrrrrrrrrr>

sometimes it does drift into slight paranoia. nothing really bad but enough to drive me nuts.

and shewolf, I do need more sex!! :wink:

about a year.
<grrrrr> frustrating!

Has it been getting more noticeable steadily, or is it an up and down thing?

Kristie, I can be overly sensitive myself.

I find that it really helps me to have an outlet to discuss the situation with. (Hey, you've got us!) I've even found that writing about it in a journal can put things in perspective for me.

I had a lot of stress in my previous career which caused most of my problems. Life is much simpler now.

shewolf is right, being sensitive isn't a bad thing per se, but it seems clear that you feel you are indeed 'over-sensitive'. Well, good on ya, hon, recognizing this is half the battle. If you feel it coming on, take a mental break, breathe deeply, and move on. The feeling will pass. If it doesn't, don't take it out later on hubby. It's probably stress-related, so just do what you would normally do to relieve stress, and sex ain't too bad

Another suggestion for the homefront: Make a list of the reasons you feel so down. Just spill onto the page, and look at it later. You may end up with a huge list. When you are calm, go through the list and ask yourself which things are worth getting so upset about? If they are unworthy of upsetness, cross them off, one by one. See how short the list gets, and be honest with yourself. If you come down to a couple of real issues, discuss them with your hubby.

I'm no expert, I just know that at one point, this worked for me. :wink:

up and down. but i can't predict when it will come. It isn't like the "monthly crazies".

So good thing.. you are aware of it.
Even better yet, you have mapped it..
---about a year. ---
----sometimes it does drift into slight paranoia.----

What have you done, if anything, that has been effective in the past year in relieving this anxiety?

Don't forget that the monthly crazies usually happen twice a month.

Next time your husband says something mean to you just tell him to F*** OFF and slap him in the face... that'll make you tough and him think twice about saying something mean again...

On a serious note... my guess is it really isn't your husband or your boss being mean that gets you upset. If I had to guess it is a deeper problem that is the issue but your husband being mean triggers your reaction to it.

For example: My wife had some issues when she was younger, and without going into to much detail, her father, said somethings at the time that he probably didn't mean. But it really hurt her and to this day, I think she is trying to make up for her mistake (even though it wasn't her fault) to somehow prove to her father that she is a good little girl.

I learned the hard way that saying anything even remotely close to what he said triggers reactions that are bigger than the present issue. She reacts to not only what I said but to what her father said 10 years ago.

Going off of your other post, my guess is that your depression multiplies your feelings. So when your husband says something, it is not only what he says that you react to but your feelings about everything that you react to. Whether it is problems at work or problems at home or feelings that you have about yourself... it is all lumped together into one big ball and one statement by your husband or boss bring it ALL to the surface.

My guess is if you can find a way to control your depressionn this matter will also be solved.

I can't imagine what hubby thinks. he probably spends half our time together waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I am so dramatic too. God. If I saw me I'd say "what the hell is her problem!"

After the "episode" I feel sorry and apologize for freaking out.

OMG! that is so true....wow....I am a dweller. he gets so mad at me for it but sometimes I don't realize it bothers me until that moment. Hmm....wow...

I never use to be such a sensitive person but now...

I think that is the key. What changes have occured in your life? What is new, different, more stressful? Is this a time in your past when someone close has died? (I spent 5 years getting weepy in late August then finally realized it was the anniversary of my grandmothers death)

You may also be feeling vulnerble due to a particular relationship being "iffy" at this time. We all respond to given stimuli in a way that we have found successful in the past. So, as a child, was this a reaction that got you comfort? Is this a response that gets your husband to give you comfort? Is it used to make him feel guilty for hurting you? As a payback?

You indicate that you feel weepy when your spouse or boss snaps at you, is grouchy towards you or otherwise finds some fault? Stop when that happens and take a few minutes to evaluate what you are feeling specifically. Rather than crying, focus on what brought the reaction and why you may be responding by crying.



Just some things to consider. You may not want to post your answers to all of that here.

Hmm.. maybe you should follow Ebeths' quote.
have some chamomile tea 3xs a day.. and make about an hour of time where you do NOTHING. you dont read, you dont eat, you just sit still and.. well..

shut up.


It helps,
I do it every night from 8-9 after I put my little pup to bed. My family knows not to bother me. I dont answer the phone, I dont make dinner, I dont even get up to check on the pup if she cries during that time. I literally do NOTHING.
I just lay in my bed, drink my tea .. let my thoughts go and sort of re-group.

ya know....sometimes...yes. that makes me feel worse to say that. I think I do. ooo, the truth does smart a bit....

sometimes maybe to make him feel crappy too. Misery loves company?

How do you stop yourself?

I don't know if I can. I am slightly ADHD. I can't sit still. Kills me practically.

I am going to start yoga back up today. I hope that helps.

GOD I FEEL INSANE!!!!!!!


You guys are great.
Just remember that.

Re: paybacks

On that one?









I don't.