It was VERY hard. We had been friends since the ages of 4 and 5. She went to a different HS in a different city, and we became different people. I became a studious nerd who spend weekends volunteering. She got a criminal record, began doing drugs, and other not-so-great things. When we rekindled our friendship in college (we went to the same one), I had no idea that she'd become so horrible, because it was like the good old days. Little by little, though, she separated me from my real friends and my family. She zapped me of self-esteem because she was so emotionally abusive. She intimidated me into being her slave. I had to do everything she wanted, which was basically just to be a doormat.
Why didn't I just tell her to buzz off? Because she was CRAZY. She'd make a huge scene in a public place, and then accuse any female who looked at her (because she was being loud and obnoxious) as "looking at her bad" and tried to start a fight. She also liked starting trouble with women who were better looking than she was, just because she had to be the best looking girl in the room! Whenever someone crossed her, she'd start a fight, EVEN if it was just in a car, and they passed her in the lane!! She'd follow people just to tell them off later! Once, she even
phoned authorities, falsely accusing someone of RAPE. She was a loon!! Naturally, I was terrified of ending the friendship, even though she did drive me to the point of suicide (I was in counselling for 16 weeks because of it) because of the emotional abuse and bullying. It sounds too crazy to be true, but sadly, it's authentic.
I had to use my psychology skills. I realized that she was using me as her flunky because I made it easy for her to take advantage of me. So I basically made myself a closed door. I loaded myself up with classes and extracurriculars so that I always had a valid excuse for not doing her any favors. I even went so far as to find out her schedule each semester so that I could plan my classes to be on a different campus and/or time! Whenever we did cross paths, I acted like whatever I was doing was far more interesting and important than what she had to say or what she had to tell me to do. I didn't accept any of her phone calls, and whenever she demanded that I let her into my house, I'd say "Fine, but no one's going to be home" and then head over to the bookstore or someplace quiet. I always made it so that I was too busy to do her bidding. She tried leaving nasty notes on my car whenever she saw it in the parking lot at the university, but what I started doing was just tossing them out without even reading them. When she found out about this, she got pissed off, sure. But she finally got the picture.
She didn't just disappear. It took me nearly 2 years. I started the process in the summer of 2002 and by the summer of 2004 she was gone. After she found out that I was no longer an option, she started using my younger sister in the same way. My sister and her are still friends, although my sister is on her guard. I wish she wouldn't talk to her at all, but my sister "hates to throw away a nearly two decade old friendship". But I never see her anymore. She phoned the house once to supposedly "catch up" but I ended the conversation after like 30 seconds because I "had something to do". I had to take a nap.
I feel that she will probably keep trying every now and agan to get back into my life, but I won't be fooled a second time. It's sad that she was able to use our childhood friendship for nefarious purposes, but I think that overall, the experience made me a stronger person. After I met my fiance, we learned that we both had "friends" that did the same thing to each of us, so we really related to that!
Sorry this was long and very off-topic, but I still can't send PMs. ^^;
