How do you feel about people showing up uninvited?

Just wrote to 'em! I only insulted you a little... ;-)

I hear ya Eva. That's exactly how I would handle it, but my mother would consider that rude and so would her sisters
Sharing a house with mom is great, except for people stopping in constantly to see her. They are her family and friends, so I end up having to go off to my room and that gets a bit frustrating sometimes since I don't have a box for the dish to connect my tv upstairs and we get no channels here without it. Sometimes when they come, I'll be in the living room working on my cross stitch while watching a movie and they'll come and plop themselves in the living room, when they could have sat in the kitchen, so there goes my movie and off to my room I go. First thing I'll be doing when I start working full time is getting my tv upstairs connected to that dish, That way I'll completely have my own space.

Bill & Soz
Wow! what a small world

No worries there. I told you your politics remind me of theirs. (They think I'm an idiot, too :wink:).

<nodding> Everybody needs their own space, Montana.

Is it possible that the guests plopped down with you in the living room instead of the kitchen because they like your company? I know if you were in the house, I'd go sit by you!

Eva
You're so damn sweet (((HUG))).

Actually, I know they do it because it's more comfortable in the living room. I do enjoy talking with them sometimes because I actually have a lot in common with them, such as gardening, knitting, and needle work, but the conversation always ends up straying towards health issues. I'm talking about everyones health problem including people we don't know and that's when I'm out of there, lol.

I am so glad that I do have my own space to run to :-D

Montana, how about saying something like, "it's great you came over to see Mom. She's in the kitchen. Why don't I take you out to her."

Try giving them some nice big hints.

Hey Montana... why not return the favor? Pack up your mom and drop in on them around dinner time 2 or 3 nights in a row until they figure out that isn't cool? That way they can bring up the subject... cause we all know you're too nice to ever do it yourself.

Beth
Good idea, but they go through the kitchen first and tell my mom that they'd like to sit in the living room because it's more comfortable, sigh.

Bill
I love that idea, but again, that's just something my mom wouldn't do, another sigh, lol.

Montana, your mom's friends seem quite obtuse..

Whew, what a variety of answers. I'm kinda relieved about that; after the first page of posts I was really . I'm all - damn! - you (North-)Americans are really big on privacy!

Not that I dont empathize with Montana's dilemma mind ya, that would drive me up the wall too. But the initial length of posts that were like, anyone shows up unannounced out of principle gets sent away, if they do it again thats the end of it, i like living in a gated thing cause the guards can send them away ... you know, that kind of thing - man! Someone called me neurotic in another thread a while ago because I wasnt keen on sharing my email address with, you know, just anyone here on the board I would possibly like to stay in contact with some day should the board go down or they leave - but this is something different still! I was thinking, that must be one cultural difference (even if the Dutch, compared with people further south or east, are already at least half on our way to your standards).

Anyway, but then there were a few other posts and I was reassured again that it was mostly just a personal thing, different folks, different strokes. Tho it'd be interesting to see if there's like, regional/cultural patterns or something.

Yeah, I'm like Soz myself - instinctively, my urge is to be by myself, read and be left alone, so some people kinda just spontaneously coming by and taking me out of that were also always just kind of practical, cause in the end its usually fun.

Talk about going "man!", by the way! That thing with Soz and Bill ... eerie/amazing! How small is a chance like that, eh? Man!

Yep Nimh, not answering the Security Guard's call from the gate is handy. Saves me the trouble of having send privacy violators away with a black eye.

Between the Cheese, the brains, the college choice and the tendency toward liberal thought, I had thought of my sister literally dozens of times while reading Soz's posts. I believe I even commented that I would be surprised not at all if they knew each other the last time it came up. Still pretty crazy though. UW Madison is a HUGE school.

My family and friends live too far away to drop in. I'd love to see more of them--with or without notice--but geography is in the way.

Mr. Noddy has a large local family--with fringes--who drop in without a word of warning whenever they want something. Very few of them have any concept of "returning a favor". I smile and offer refreshments, but inside I snarl.

Mind you, life has improved. Several of my stepsons and their wives used to drop by--without notice--to drop off their kids so I could babysit-- without notice.

I'd rise to the occasion, provide a pleasant afternoon for Mr. Noddy's grandchildren. Then the parents would return and threaten to leave the kids behind if they didn't get in the car right away.

****

I don't mind the bear dropping by, but I wish he'd leave the birdfeeders alone. The birds can visit anytime.

The ones that linger all day and expect mom to make them dinner are her sisters. My mom has a large family, but it's just 3 of her sisters that are this way. I've managed to make some out of the way space for myself when they come and hijack my house, so it's not that big of a deal. I do feel sorry for my mom though, since she has to drop everything she's doing to entertain them and a lot of times have to figure out what she's going to feed them. It's frustrating for her mostly because she has absolutely nothing in common with her sisters, but she allows them to continue to burden her, so she has to live with it, sigh.

I'm almost never on the receiving end of uninvited entries, I'm usually the practitioner of them- big party a bunch of people I know hold them, some girl I know a bit has a big get-together- each time there's always either a smirk or glare when I enter the room. Kind of wierd.

I don't mind friends dropping in. If my house isn't up to par...lol they can help me clean it. What I DO mind is my father-in-law has came to our home unexpectedly and then MOVED IN. He was with us for 3 months each time and not working. The one time he showed up at 3 AM!! I had to have a talk with my husband. When we insisted that he get a job and work on saving money to get an apartment of his own, he secretly packed his bags and left to move in with other relatives. We now have an agreement that his dad cannot live with us!

Wofey--

Welcome to A2K.

I'm sure your father-in-law will be happier living in a house where he can set his own rules. Congratulations to your husband for not allowing such behavior under his roof.

To nimh and anyone still reading -

Rereading the thread and taking it from a later comment that there might be something frightened and weirdish in my not opening the door in West Los Angeles at midnight by a loud knocker...that turned out, I learned by a phone call the next day, to be an acquaintance/friend.

lots of crime in my neighborhoods, some very violent.

Have you heard of the crips and the bloods? Well, that was more of real concern when I lived in Venice, that is, about thirty blocks west, but women needed to be smart in lower westwood (LA 25) too.

Door opening isn't all about societal warmth.

I admit, though, that I am also not always instantly convivial. A phone call is a courtesy.

Sounds like a solid display of common sense not to answer to me Osso. Erring on the side of caution is seldom a bad idea.

Chances are that person knocking loud at my door was a pal, somewhat stupid, to my pov then, knocking loud at me then, but still a pal. But I didn't know that. And I am never, then or now, all alarmed up. I just have a back door.

So the element of bother comes into it, as I was, in memory, reading on the couch when the giant knocking happened.. I am off on some reading and someone is pounding at the door at midnight in WLA, do I answer, Noooooooooooooo.

perhaps I would have if I had, that month, a lover. Now those are the years I had many lovers over time, but clearly not right then, or not many right then, or I would have listened for a voice.

Ah, well, I am just riffing now, decades later, on a particular memory.

Maybe news to y'all fractionally younger than me, is... that... you ... remember.... this... ****...... and can picture it, many years later.

Beats not remembering!