Could I forgive him?

Forums: Confused, Boyfriend Kissed Another Girl
Email this Topic • Print this Page

So I've been seeing/dating a guy for 4 months. He's been amazing and I have really fallen for him. Just the other day he admitted he did something unforgivable by his standards while he was away. He got drunk and talked to a girl there at the bar. His buddies all left him alone at the table so he talked to her. She complained of a guy trying to take advantage of her. He's super sweet and won't let a girl be taken advantage of. So he said he could be her fake boyfriend. He was extremely drunk by this point and she said well holding hands and hugging could make it seem more real. He agreed to it in his drunken state. Then he left to find his traveling partner and she wanted to go with him. He agreed and when they got back behind the shoots the girl wanted to pet the bulls. When they got back down on the ground she hugged him and kissed him. I light peck on the lips but then he kissed her back. He said there was no tongue. Then he lied about it Sunday to protect me he said but he couldn't handle the lie and had to tell me. What should I do? No one else wants me to take him back but I've fallen pretty hard and I don't even know why or how. I told him I need a couple months to think everything through and really decide what I should do and he says he needs it too.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 806 • Replies: 7

[+3] - jespah - 04/12/2017I'm a lot more concerned about the lying (and being so drunk he didn't know what he was doing) than the actual act of kissing. Those are red flags. Forget the kiss. Concentrate more on him...

@Sieking16,

I'm a lot more concerned about the lying (and being so drunk he didn't know what he was doing) than the actual act of kissing.

Those are red flags. Forget the kiss. Concentrate more on him potentially being untrustworthy, and in particular on getting that hammered.

0 Replies

@Sieking16,

Sieking16 wrote:

He said there was no tongue.

As if that excuses anything! I would dump this dweeb just for saying that. What kind of idiot does he think you are? Suppose he gets juiced up again only this time says "there was no dick", or "well, only a bit". It's not the body, it's the mind that counts. You need at least a couple of months. More like a couple of lifetimes. He sounds like a weakling who does what he wants and then dumps the guilt and pain onto you. If he had any backbone he would have a. kept his mouth shut about it, b. not done it again.

0 Replies

@Sieking16,

"I told him I need a couple months to think everything through and really decide what I should do and he says he needs it too."

Ha Ha. He got you to dump him. That's what he wanted.

1 Reply

@Sieking16,

Do you think you own him?
You have you been together enough to go for life long vows? People explore, one way or another.
Life long = a long long time.

0 Replies

@PUNKEY,

He had already dumped me the day before he told me.

1 Reply

@Sieking16,

Just out of curiosity, how old are you both?

Quote:

back. He said there was no tongue. Then he lied about it Sunday to protect me he said but he couldn't handle the lie and had to tell me. What should I do? No one else wants me to take him back

How many people are in this relationship with you? Are you making decisions by a committee?

Another important point, a 4-month relationship is not an engagement. Did you ever discuss being exclusive at any point?

Also, his getting drunk and making out with someone is a negative and a sign of a potential character flaw. Drunkeness is no excuse for 'drifting".The facts of those circumstances may be interesting and somewhat altruistic but he got carried away and that's not a good sign about your future with this guy.

If he can't control his drinking or behavior when he drinks, was he the right guy for you anyway?

Sieking16 wrote:

He had already dumped me the day before he told me.

Then this is all a moot point, isn't it? Sorry to be this blunt but the romance part of that relationship has ended. Time out in this case is just someone making the landing a little softer.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

A song.

I'm sorry, @Sieking16, but it's already over. If you want to forgive him in order to make yourself feel better, then of course please feel free to do so. I'm all for unburdening those sorts of things.

But if you feel it'll bring him back or make him feel guilty about ending it or anything of that sort, that's not going to happen. Let it go.

Expand your musical horizons and enjoy Boz Scaggs.

0 Replies

Could I forgive him?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know