OCCOM BILL wrote:I'll take care of the swearing for you, darlin...$@^*%J^& %$_)$$&&!
O'Bill: LOL! Thanks!!
Foxy: Too true! Of course, M. Moore thinks the terrorists are today's Minutemen. I have a small American flag on my rear window. Wonder if that would be the next go go.
(I think I need some "Damnitol" LOL!) Fox - I was gonna email this one to ya, but here it is!
New Drugs for Women
D A M N I T O L: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST.
M O M M A'S W O R T: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N:
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O:
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L:
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R:
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N:
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?."
BUYAGRA:
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of your spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N:
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or how to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T:
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T:
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.