Bush supporters' aftermath thread

An Alternative Inaugural Address
From the January 24, 2005 issue: What if George W. Bush weren't a compassionate conservative . .
by P.J. O'Rourke
01/24/2005, Volume 010, Issue 18


MY FELLOW AMERICANS, I had intended to reach out to all of you and bring a divided nation together. But I changed my mind. America isn't divided by political ethos or ethnic origin. America isn't divided by region or religion. America is divided by jerks. Who wants to bring a bunch of jerks together with the rest of us? Let them stew in Berkeley, Boston, and Ann Arbor.

The media say that I won the election on the strength of moral values. If the other fellow had become president, would the media have said that he won the election on the strength of immoral values? For once the media would have been right.

We are all sinners. But jerks revel in their sins. You can tell by their reaction to the Ten Commandments. Post those Ten Commandments in a courthouse or a statehouse, in a public school or a public park, and the jerks go crazy. Why is that? Christians believe in the Ten Commandments. So do Muslims. Jews, too, obviously. Show the Ten Commandments to Hindus, Buddhists, Confucians, or to people with just good will and common sense and nobody says, "Whoa! That's all wrong!"

But jerks take issue with every one of the Ten Commandments. Jerks are particularly offended by the first two Commandments. Of course people of faith, decent people, differ on interpretations of the first two Commandments. For example, we don't all agree about the meaning of "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image." However, we do all
agree about "Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them" when them is Freud, Marx, and Dan Rather.

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." How many times, over the last few months, have we heard, "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, I can't believe George Bush won"?

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." Let's be fair about this. We did see a lot of white, non-Hispanic Democrats in churches in 2004. But they were all running for president. And the churches were inner-city black churches. I happen to know that there are churches in the white, non-Hispanic suburbs where these Democrats live. Apparently jerks can't find them.

"Honor thy father and thy mother." Are telling lies about a bankrupt Social Security system and trying to block its privatization reform ways to do this?

"Thou shalt not kill." Why, in the opinion of jerks, is it wrong to kill a baby but all right to kill a baby that's so little he hasn't been born yet? And why do the same jerks who favor abortion oppose the death penalty? We can imagine people so full of loving kindness that they can accept neither the abortionist nor the executioner. We can even imagine people so cold-hearted that they embrace them both. But it takes a real jerk to argue in favor of killing perfect innocents and letting Terry Nichols live.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery." The jerks have begun praising marriage lately. But only if the bride and groom each have a beard.

"Thou shalt not steal." In 2004 the United States government spent $2,318,800,000,000. Thus every American benefited from $7,919.37 worth of federal services. Let me ask the jerks something. Say you're average jerks, a "blended family" of four. Did you pay $31,677.48 in taxes last year? If you didn't, you took things from other Americans. What did you give in return?

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Especially not in return for vast wealth, abundant prizes, and lavish praise from fellow jerks. I'm talking to you, Michael Moore.

And then there is the Tenth Commandment. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's." The Ten Commandments are God's basic rules about how we should live--a brief list of sacred obligations and solemn moral precepts. The first nine Commandments concern theological principles and social law. But then, right at the end, is "Don't envy your buddy's cow." How did that make the top ten? What's it doing there? Why would God, with just ten things to tell Moses, choose as one of those things jealousy about the starter mansion with in-ground pool next door?

Yet think how important the Tenth Commandment is to a community, to a nation, indeed to a presidential election. If you want a mule, if you want a pot roast, if you want a cleaning lady, don't be a jerk and whine about what the people across the street have--go get your own.

The Tenth Commandment sends a message to all the jerks who want redistribution of wealth, higher taxes, more government programs, more government regulation, more government, less free enterprise, and less freedom. And the message is clear and concise: Go to hell.

Bush Thanks Troops, Political Supporters

NewsMax.com Wires
Wednesday, Jan. 19, 2005

WASHINGTON - President Bush launched his inaugural celebrations on Tuesday by thanking two groups that played major roles in his election to a second term - the military that prosecuted the war in Iraq and his most ardent and generous political supporters.

On the first of four days of nonstop festivities that some have criticized as too extravagant amid war, deficits and natural disaster, the president and first lady Laura Bush crisscrossed Washington into the evening to hobnob with soldiers, young Republicans and GOP bigwigs.

Bush takes the oath of office Thursday to begin his next four years in the White House.

Bush gave four speeches throughout the day, but the centerpiece was a salute to the military. The more than two-hour extravaganza was held at a sports arena in downtown Washington, its seats only about half-full with thousands of uniformed military and their families, including soldiers recuperating at a nearby Army hospital from wounds suffered in Iraq. The event was also piped to troops stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"As we prepare to celebrate our nation's 55th presidential inauguration, I can think of no better way to begin than by giving thanks for our freedom and those who make it possible," Bush said as he paid tribute to military personnel and families who have lost someone in war.

"With the election behind us, the American people come together in unity to celebrate our freedom," he added. "A presidential inauguration is a testament to the power of democracy, a symbol of our confidence in the popular will and a sign of hope for freedom-loving people everywhere."

The salute, complete with pop stars and comics alongside somber documentaries, was meant to set the stage for the week's theme of celebrating freedom and honoring service. But inaugural planners and Bush aides also hoped the high-profile placement of the event at the head of the schedule would dispel talk that the festivities - which could cost more than $50 million, with millions more in taxpayer dollars for security - should be toned down.

Warming Up the Crowd

Later in the day, a young crowd, bathed in orange and green spotlights, cheered Bush and his wife at a local armory. Entertainers who included the rock band "3 Doors Down" and singer Hilary Duff, who ran on stage in a black sequin top and Capri jeans, warmed up the crowd for the president.

"My call to you all is that as you enjoy the great freedoms of America and as you enjoy yourself at this inauguration, I hope you take away the lesson of helping somebody in need," he said at the event called "America's Future Rocks Today." "And when you do, it will not only make our country a better place, it will lift up your own spirit."

Behind closed doors and several hours apart, he also attended two private receptions for supporters - one for Republican National Committee members and the other hosted by Jeanne Johnson Phillips, chairwoman of Bush's inaugural committee which raised the millions in private donations that funded the bulk of the events.

The president told the party faithful at the RNC party that he has no intention of acting like a lame duck - even as he said he is aware that the battle for the Republican mantle for the 2008 presidential election will lead the party to eventually move beyond him.

"You didn't elect me to do small things," Bush said, according to people inside. "I've got four years here. I'm going to use them."

Before leaving the White House, the president held a third, one-hour practice session for his inaugural address with aides in the family theater. The almost-complete, 17-minute speech, which he will deliver after being sworn in on a giant platform outside the Capitol, is intended to lay out Bush's second-term themes: Advancing freedom abroad while building an "ownership society" at home, White House press secretary Scott McClellan said.

Bush entered the "Saluting Those Who Serve" event to enthusiastic applause, just as about a half-dozen people were stepping forward to recite the names of fathers, husbands, brothers and sons who have died while on military duty.

In addition to solemn dedications to wars present and past, the event featured comedy routines, including imitations of former President Clinton and Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld by "Saturday Night Live" cast member Darrell Hammond and a Top 10 list of "signs that your commanding officer is nuts" delivered via videotape from late-night, talk-show host David Letterman.

people who really live by the ten commandments don't use the laws of god in calling their fellows "jerks".

people who really understand the teachings of the christ don't invoke his name in the hatred of their fellows.

but jerks do.

people who really live by the ten commandments don't use the laws of god in calling their fellows "jerks".

people who really understand the teachings of the christ don't invoke his name in the hatred of their fellows.

but jerks do.

My impression was that it was a reference to the author of that speech.

My impression was that it was a reference to the author of that speech.

Alright ... I just wanted to be sure you realized the author was saying that's what Bush would say if he weren't a compassionate conservative.

But he is ... so he wouldn't say that ... and therefore your comments don't make that much sense.

But jerks take issue with every one of the Ten Commandments. Jerks are particularly offended by the first two Commandments. Of course people of faith, decent people, differ on interpretations of the first two Commandments. For example, we don't all agree about the meaning of "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image." However, we do all
agree about "Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them" when them is Freud, Marx, and Dan Rather.