From my email today
(There's no government employees here, right?)
Four Smart Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth man was a Government employee.
To show off the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
The Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles.
Everyone agreed that was good.
The Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Beaker, do your stuff." Beaker got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 oz. of milk without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the three men turned to the government employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The employee called to his cat and said, "Coffee break, do your stuff."
Coffee break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance claim for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.