An "Ask Auntie Lowan" Digression.

Actually, further investigations have shown that Nonstopus Blowjobus was found in a compromising position in one of the roman toilets with the court singer Geogre Michaelus. He is now serving a prison sentence and is now known as Bendover Frequentus.

Yes, I happen to know that the Roman judge in that case was the notorious Waddus Mysteriosis.

And who was caught preforming CALIGULUS in the solarium?

Yes, he was discovered violating Juris Prudis.

The tales of Muscius Scaevola and Virginius pale by comparison . . .

There were Virginius in ancient Rome?

Yes indeedy . . . i was just bein' ironic . . . i was referring to actual ancient legends, as opposed to those legends which date from the last 24 hours . . .

Like for instance the acts that Clarencio was doing to Scalia?

And here I was thinkin' that Muscius Scaevola was dandruff of the nostrils....

I thought it was sputum hanging from the uvula. Gees, learn something every day!

You ol' booger you . . .

I'm sorry, Guys, i stepped all over yer fun . . .

You should try Le Mort d'Artur . . . history's greatest soap opera, mother lovers, mother stabbers, rape, murder, incest . . .

And a course, there's Merlin and Nimue . . .

Been there, done that, gave the book to a very bright kid on his 13th birthday. Now he can grow up jaded like the rest of us

I always had the hots fer Morgan le Fay, she was soooooooo bad you just know she was good ! ! !

Yeah, I would take her over Guinevere any day...also, when she became a villain in the old Batman comics, she was drawn all hot...

I like the way she disguised, by magic means, her sister, so that their half-brother, Arthur, would sleep with her (sleep hell, we all know what that means), thereby producing Mordred, who would eventually fell Arthur in battle.

Now that's talent . . .

Now that's a hell of a story to cover up that you've been hitting the mead a little too hard and got carried away and nailed your sister.

This is an interesting conversation. I just stopped in to listen for a bit. Well, gotta run.

The fun's just beginnin', Boss . . .

Castle Anthrax and the Virgins:





Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot. Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty, and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon: you must tie her down on a bed and spank her.
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO:
You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me.
AMAZING:
And spank me.
STUNNER:
And me.
LOVELY:
And me.
DINGO:
Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight!
DINGO:
And after the spanking, the oral sex.
GIRLS:
The oral sex! The oral sex!
GALAHAD:
Well, I could stay a bit longer.
LAUNCELOT:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
Oh, hello.
LAUNCELOT:
Quick!
GALAHAD:
What?
LAUNCELOT:
Quick!
GALAHAD:
Why?
LAUNCELOT:
You are in great peril!
DINGO:
No, he isn't.
LAUNCELOT:
Silence, foul temptress!
GALAHAD:
You know, she's got a point.
LAUNCELOT:
Come on! We will cover your escape!
GALAHAD:
Look, I'm fine!
LAUNCELOT:
Come on!
GIRLS:
Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD:
No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
GIRLS:
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
LAUNCELOT:
No, Sir Galahad. Come on!
GALAHAD:
No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily.
DINGO:
Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily.
GIRLS:
Yes. Let him handle us easily.
LAUNCELOT:
No. Quick! Quick!
GALAHAD:
Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them!

Please continue, Setanta. My heart is pounding and I am filled with desire for the lovelies which you have been kind enough to grace the screen with. Never have I seen such beauty. (except for that brief foray in Tonga back in "92)