Don't leave out the Bunny, she started it this time. Very funny story, Deb.
"Flatulence" is a great word.
Sodomy
Fellatio
Cunnelingus
Pederasty
Father, why do these words sound so nasty?
Masturbation . . . can be fun
Join the Holy Orgy, Kama Sutra . . .
Everyone ! ! !
fellatio? cunnilingus? man, latin's a mouthful.
[groan]
wait, that doesn't work
[spit take]
oops, even worse
[smacks forehead]
prolly some dirty meaning lurking in there, but I'll go with it.
Dlowan's story reminded me of the old lady who went to the doctor because she was farting on a consistence basis. She told the doctor she was able to live with the problem becauses the farts were the silent, odorless type. The doctor gave her some pills and told her to come back the next day. When she returned she was quite alarmed. She told the doctor she was still farting like crazy, but now they stunk like hell.
The doctor said, "Good, good. We've cleared up your sinuses. Now let's work on that hearing problem.
There was an old farmer who lived by the crick
He sat in the meadow and played with his --
Agates and marbles and the lady next door
You could tell by her figure that she was a --
Nice old lacy, a lady of luck
She taught all the farmers new ways to --
Bring up their children and teach them to knit
To clean out the barnyard and scoop up the --
Sweet vi-o-lets!
Family puts the old ma in a home 'cause they all work and she needs the care--no hard feelings. The first day, she's sitting in a rattan chair in the sun, enjoyin' the day, an' begins to lean to the right--so an orderly comes by and pushes her back upright, and holds her there until she settles. Next day, she's sittin' on a bench in the park by the home, and she beings to lean to the left--so an orderly comes over and props her back up . . .
The family comes over to see her on Saturday, and ask her how she likes the place. She says: "Well, the food is really kind of good, and i don't mind the other old folks . . . but, i'll be damned if i know why, they won't let ya fart . . . "
That's funny. I've heard about an old man who had exactly the same thing happen to him in a doctor's waiting room...
deb
I say with complete honesty that I truly would have loved to have been there. You've told the tale with deft grace, but I should think that the folks in attendance will tell this story to their grandchildren, who may themselves relate it to others. It may even come back to you as one of those internet stories.
what in the name of the goddess have I whelped!
Coughed or farted maybe but whelped ?
Well, so long as you've not farrowed . . .
Hmmmm - Mia noa farrowed...
And to get this thread back on track....
Dear Aunti Lowan,
What is farrowed ?
yrs in anticipation
to farrow is to give birth, from a porcine point of view . . . i.e., a sow farrows . . .
Pigs be smarter than dogs....
I am on my way to giving up bacon and ham entirely...
Hmm...pigs is smarter than dogs eh...points to what we should be eating then
Just kidding...I would never eat MY dog....
