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Mon 27 Mar, 2017 12:33 pm
I recently joined online dating and I've gone out with two of them. One of them, let's call him Jim, is kind of like what I've always thought was my ideal guy. He's shy, a little awkward, and very intelligent. We have a lot in common and I enjoy spending time with him. The thing is though, we've been on two dates right now, and he has not shown any physical affection or touching at all? Like we were watching a show together and he sat kind of far from me. But when I left, he said he really wanted to see me next weekend and he texted me the next day about scheduling another date.
I haven't dated in awhile and I'm not sure what the right thing to do is here? Since he's shy I've been waiting for him to initiate something, but maybe he's waiting for me to? Or should I wait until he's ready? I don't know, I really like the guy and we have a strong emotional connection, but I don't know how to best handle him not wanting any physical contact with me. I mean, I'm not wanting anything that intimate, just little touches or hand holding or something to show some sort of romantic connection I guess.
Gave you a thumbs up there, Dale.
@inconceivablebluefox,
Yes, you should make it known that you want physical contact. Sometimes guys need a little encouragement.
There are two options. One is to just be direct, ask for what you want. Saying "I would really like holding hands" is fine and would certainly get a positive response from me. The other option (depending on the guy) is to be flirty and playful about it on the next date. There are creative ways you can indicate your wish for physical contact.
Actually, I don't think two dates without a huge amount of physical affection is that abnormal. But if you are feeling it... then you should communicate it one way or the other.
two dates are not "several"
Stop worrying and if you go out with him again, just have a nice time.
There's no time schedule.
@inconceivablebluefox,
There is nothing wrong with you grabbing his hand if you want to hold his hand or if you are sitting next to him to get close or if he sits far from you you can either join him or asking him to sit by you.
Some times guys need a kick from a girl to let them know you want to be closer and you are fine with him touching you.
@inconceivablebluefox,
Could it be that he's not that shy but just doesn't want you to think he's only dating you for physical reasons? He may want to hold your hand or put his arm around you but is holding back so you don't think he's being too forward. I guess this all depends on your ages and how you were brought up.
No one likes to initiate physical contact and get rebuffed. He may have had some bad experiences this way and just wants to play it cautiously for a while. I know that I certainly wouldn't expect much physical contact for the first few dates. Just take it
nice and easy.
@chai2,
Interesting. Chai why dontcha OP on the subj. Webster is noncommittal at 'few;' and ff course 2 is a 'couple, whileI had thought of "several" as 3 to 5 tho my BH, who is much smarter than I, disagrees, asserting it almost always means 3
'A number of' might start might usu mean 4 or more....
Of course you'd wanna consult Google on the matter; though we'll probably be set upon by the TAT who will accuse us of straying from the present OP
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