What he has to realize is his cheating ripped you apart and although it happened one night and he may be over it, it will take a long time for you to truly heal. Once trust is broken, it takes much longer to repair. So although he may "regret it" and perhaps he is truly sorry and it won't happen again, I am not sure he will be able to handle facing the fact that he did this to you (and your relationship) and that HE needs to take full responsibility for it and be there for you- be supportive of you- when you have your low moments because of this (and you will). I speak from experience. If your partner can get over his defensiveness and need to push the issue away because it's uncomfortable for him, then maybe you can work through it; however, if he continues acting like this, I am afraid it probably won't work.
To hell with his feelings and the fact that he can't express himself well. That just means it's uncomfortable for him and he would rather move on and not dwell on what happened. The fact is, he screwed up so he needs to stop being selfish and put your needs above his own. Right now that need is for him to be emotionally supportive and to continue to be reassuring. It's going to take that for you move past it.
Good luck with the counselor. Remember that no matter how "wonderful" a counselor may be- many times it comes down to if the two of you are a good fit or not. If you don't feel like you click after the first several visits,don't be afraid to find someone else. I wish you the best and if he's not willing to put you first, I wish you the strength to walk away and find someone who will.