Changing mind means cheating?

No. Installing IG does not mean you will cheat.

It does sound like your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you spending time with other people online without him supervising. How is he about you spending time with friends and family in real life?

It is weird, he doesnt want me to spend much time on my phone on FB or IG, but he is very supportive when it comes to speaking with my friends or family.

I moved away from my home country to be with him, so there is the time difference and distance issue. And I prefer to text and contact over FB then calling. Because I know calling with my friends will take up to 2 hours at the time. Mostly when I call them after my work, I am in the bus towards home.

Does it make sense to be so angry about it? (he has done that before, whenever I changed my mind about something and he doesnt like it he relates it back to cheating) Telling me that I have no back bone, that I dont stand for anything?

He sounds insecure in his relationship to you. This insecurity could lead to him wanting more and more control over everything you do. I hope not, but be aware of this.
You have a right to change your mind about ANYTHING and everything. That is your business. People re-evaluate their positions on issues as more information or insight comes available. It's called growth. You have the right to grow and progress as a person without your boyfriend's permission and without being accused of anything. He seems to see your progress as a threat to your relationship.

Thank you TomTomBinks,

what you describe feels a lot like what is happening. But I just dont know why he is so insecure about our relationship. We are hardly separated from each other, only during working hours.

I think I need to ask him what makes him so insecure in our relationship? What has happened in the past that makes him insecure?

I don't know what your boyfriend is on about. You are the sole honest judge on wether that single handed example has echo on other areas of your life and behaviour. Anyway I disliked that you had to asks us about something only you can tell...

Cripes, if Instagram meant cheating I would be out of a husband. And a job, too, seeing as I use it for work.

Let us know how it works out. Good luck.

Sometimes when people get defensive like that its due to a bunch of reasons. The others here have made some good points. Did you find anything out of the ordinary on his Instagram or other social media?

He is afraid that you will become like all those "other people"

He must spend a lot of time participating in what he doe doesn't want you to become.

Check out what he's been doing.

Thanks everyone for the comments.

I think there are several reasons.

First, when our relationship first started, we had a really big fight and he ended it, but he insisted to know one last thing, he wanted to know with how many guys I slept. Well, I wasnt completely honest about it and said a number close to the real number, but less (-5). I thought what does it matter it is over anyway.

But after it came all good and I told him that I lied about the number. Well, that is the root of it all. Because I lied about that, he has a hard time trusting me.

On top of that, I am a person that can change her mind. About social media, or food, or clothes. In my mind it makes perfectly sense, but I know that for him it is very frustrating sometimes.

Combined that is the reason why he has troubles trusting me.

I asked him why are you so insecure about our relationship? He said, it is because of you, you lied to me and on top of that you change your mind about things. also he says that whenever we have an argument I make up little lies to sound better. (while I just try to explain why I think like I think)

Now I am writing this I see that it is me that makes him insecure. But I am just not a very good person to have an argument with. I change direction very easily (also to just stop the argument), and that makes him even more angry.

It is hard to be yourself, and also pay attention to every action you do. It doesnt make sense, you should be yourself with your partner, but you should also take into account how he/she feels right?

Yikes. The more you write, the worse he sounds.

Do you both have social lives separate from each other?

No not really,

I have my friends and family in another country and we are basically only see his friends and family. Also, he is the one with the car, so sometimes I dont have much choice.

The rest of the time it is very nice, and we really like each other company. Off course it is only the times that we have an argument or fight when it becomes really full on, because i dont have much options. I have stayed at home a few weekends and did my own thing. With was great.. but you are right. We need to find a better balance between being together and have some time apart.

Sounds like you would benefit from more balance in your life.

Make your own life there. Be as independent as you can.

Enjoy your time alone and together.

Encourage him to develop his own independent circle - and to spend time with them on his own.

He might be a duche I just can't tell. But let me tell you a secret, most men appreciate consistency....moreover the trick of an enduring long term relation its based on it.
In all honesty if you change your mind so easy I wouldn't ever consider you if I were in his shoes no matter how good person you are deep down...its just one of those sacred pillars for me.
Think things through, be honest with yourself, brutally honest...play devils advocate on your own motives. Examine yourself. Logical consistency might improve after these steps. If he is a duche dump him.

...oh you jump to conclusions to soon. Men really hate certain traits like changing mind on things day in day out. Your husband must be a very mature person. Perhaps your a lucky women...since you seemed to miss the point, I assumed your empathy says something about you. Are you an over dominant personality? Carefull...

It sounds like the OP is growing up , developing socially and personally. Her partner is reacting badly to that maturation process.

If a man can't handle a woman maturing, then he's got things to sort out himself.

Well honestly I dont belive much on "maturation"...I was born questioning my motives, playing devil's advocate against myself in order to reach a true veredict on my actions rational. I haven't change much. Except for a few cases so didn't the most inconsistent people I have met up close.
Just sayin Beth...

You girls have tons of valid points on men's abuse, idiocy, and lack of adaptation to modern women...fair. That said on some topics you are pushing it and ultimately cornering yourselfs out of marriage, kids, and a satesfying life.
That deserves more honest analysis also. I hope you interpret this the right way...

You seem to think that men don't mature/develop. Is that a correct summation?

I think boys and girls, men and women, change and develop over time. My father (hamburger/hamburgboy) will be 87 in a couple of months. He continues to change and develop with the world around him. I don't think I personally know anyone who hasn't changed and developed over the years I've known them. I suspect if anyone did stop changing, they got left behind.

Oh, please. She changed her mind on a damned social media site, not on whether she's a Catholic, a vegetarian, wants kids, votes Libertarian, or supports the New York Yankees (quelle horreur!). Her fellow extrapolated off the deep end.

And oh my, do you honestly think that corners women out of marriage, to have opinions, and to change them, either through more data or just for fun? You know, like men do?

Here, allow me to introduce you to my husband of nearly 25 years, who is also a member of this site. You can find his picture in my profile.

PS It's spelled 'douche' -- the word comes from the French word for shower.