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My wife and a male coworker of hers, just doesnt feel right.

 
 
bobdobalina
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 08:06 pm
i agree with winenot that does sound very connected with the flirting of looking good in a bikini and buying the calendar they talk like a couple .Did you ask about the kids sports game and was she the only one there because i would think she would have zero interest in the actual game so making the effort to go and spend time with him then share food is pretty brazen not unlike the painting at the work place and who knows of other times they met up without your knowledge You could ask her to back off but she would have to admit things have crossed the line and it seems she doesnt think so.
Also Monper was the happy snap she took of just them discussed as your feelings of why he was the only one it it speaks volumes
Monper
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Mar, 2017 01:07 pm
@bobdobalina,
For the kids hockey game she claims she and a few friends from work were all there. I dont know if i believe it. She has gone to lunch a few times one on one with "B". Yes i have told her i dont want her to be doing that. She continues with "hes just a friend" and the lunch break with B is helpful because supposingly they talk about work. Maybe so, maybe not. And she says hes single because hes too busy with work and hasnt met the right one. The right one aint my wife. Im putting up a fight for her. Been trying to keep her busy outside of work. What scares me is late April i will be 5 states away training for 7 days.
bobdobalina
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Mar, 2017 07:35 pm
I'd be sus at the hockey game when a woman goes and watches
A guy on the sports field that's purely hero status nothing to do with the game
Did you ask about the obvious trophy pic on the painting
day to cute for any ones comfort
Now the lunches I'd say enough gets discussed about
in the office the lunches would be the personal relaxing
Conversation where he is slowly chipping away
This guy is a sleazy operator with all the correct things to say
To busy for a girl friend , waiting for mrs right
How lame and your wife is falling for it
It's a tough grind coping with this unknown each day
0 Replies
 
niceguy47460
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Apr, 2017 08:56 pm
@Monper,
Dude she is so cheating on you . All the signs are there if I was you I would kick her ass out and let the company she and him work for know what is going on . If the company doesn't put a stop to it you can sue them . I have seen all this before and there is something going on . She doesn't think you will do anything about it so it is going to continue . You ha EA to take her safety net away with is you . Kick her out and let her know you are not going to stand for it . If you have Kik let me know
0 Replies
 
WineNot
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Apr, 2017 08:58 pm
@Monper,
The bottom line is YOU are her husband and YOU should come first. Even if it was totally innocent (and with as much as she has omitted and all the overly friendly text, I truly don't think it has been innocent at all), if it bothers you then she should respect you enough to stop all the lunch dates, etc. Even if she hasn't physically cheated, she is definitely having an emotional affair and it's headed there. She makes excuses because she doesn't want to give him up (talking about work is an excuse). Bottom line is they have crossed too many lines and as her husband you need to tell her enough is enough. She needs to decide what is more important to her- her marriage or her relationship with this man (whatever it may be).
0 Replies
 
girlie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Apr, 2017 12:45 pm
@Monper,
It's inappropriate to go out to lunch alone knowing they're attracted to each other. She's not so innocent, but let her do what she wants in this. Sounds like he'll just use her for a good lay and then she'll wish she didn't wander with you and don't take her back.

If she wanted to act married she would have told him no to the shot and said she's married her husband is right next to her and that she finds it inappropriate.

This is what I hate women like her get married and they don't even act married.

If I had a husband I'd be showing him off -- not oogling the boss the whole night*
0 Replies
 
girlie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Apr, 2017 12:55 pm
@Monper,
This would infuriate me how dare she spend more time with the boss than her own husband.
0 Replies
 
bobdobalina
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Jul, 2017 07:26 am
Hi monper what was the end result in your situation of wife and her co worker
terahical
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 12:06 pm
@Monper,
I'm not a relationship expert by any means but something seems up and if y'all haven't had a deep conversation about it's time you do. This guy seems like he's moving in on her when you're not around and the fact that you caught him holding her hand sets off alarm bells. That and the fact that you know he coaches a hockey team and she should've been able to tell you exactly who she was with. If she's still not honest with you then yes I would check to see if she's really doing the things she says she is. The sheer fact that he tried to kiss her makes me believe she's putting out signals that she's interested. She may say otherwise but the guy seems to have been "feeling things out" and waiting for the right time, when y'all fight, work issues, ect. Also she wouldn't still spend time with him after that if she didn't feel some type of way about him. If that's too much for you it might be time to call it quits. In the end only you can decide if making it work means a lot to you or if you just can't trust her then it might be time to move on. You deserve someone you can trust and who looks at you like your the only one she sees. Don't settle for someone who is willing to lie to their spouse so they can keep fooling around with someone else. Hope things work out for the best.
0 Replies
 
akovejohn
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Jul, 2017 09:14 am
@bobdobalina,
I told her to face her coworker (male) and tell him that they will stop this affair and never again this will happen again which she did infront of their other coworker as witness. And he said if she want them to stop then he is ok with that.
0 Replies
 
adriw7878
 
  0  
Reply Wed 26 Jul, 2017 04:05 am
@niceguy47460,
Hahaha. My wife is also having "side action" with office mate. Come home at midnight (Mon-Fri) and off to gym/work at 7.00am. Talk (face time) is less than 15 mins per day.

I had a medical misadventure 3 yrs ago. Rendered me 2 yrs comatosed and last 1 yr physiotherapy to help me regain my physical functions (now only 50% active). Hospital paid me a settlement of 500K. Wife banked into joint account and took out FD certs under her own name.

Getting PI to check her office party in a club for staff who are leaving. Once I have evidence, will divorce and get my money back.
0 Replies
 
adriw7878
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Aug, 2017 01:39 pm
@Monper,
Talk to wife lovingly and tell her your concern.

My issue a bit trickier. We are married 25 yrs and have grown children and we both held high corporate positions. We never had any issue with our relationship and I was comatosed 2 years. Another year physiotherapy to get me functioning again.

I woke up and saw a transformed wife ... gym (Mon-Fri) and working late most nights. Once, I woke up at 10.30pm and she was not in. Got back around 12.30am. She said she was out counselling Ruby. I asked for her phone to check on the meeting appointment. She refused, saying "private matter. Go to bed, sick man!". Next day I asked if she wants a separation. She said "No. Who will take care of you?"

I was surprised she doesn't feel happy I am better now. She still comes back around 12 midnight (most nights) citing company motivation with different teams. I kissed her good night and tasted alcohol in her lips.

Last week normal ... back by 7pm and had dinner together. Still being watchful.
0 Replies
 
Bob1607
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Aug, 2017 11:13 am
I would appreciate advice from anyone on my current situation. I have been married for 17 years and have 3 beautiful kids. Over the past while my relationship with my wife has changed and I'm so confused. Bit of background, prior to being married (when we were bf n gf) wife was out with other guys and had some sexual encounters too. She has admitted some things but has never been willing to talk about it all. In December of 2015 my wife went to a work night out. She txt me asks by her to pick her up but the message was different from any she sent before. Usually she would ask me to txt or call when I'd arrived but this time she asked me to txt when I was nearly there! I arrived and went to see if I could see her. She appeared with one of her colleagues but did not realise I was behind her! I overheard a conversation which was something to with those guys we met, her friend then said don't worry about it it'll be ok! Her friend then realised that I was behind them and quickly halted the conversation. She then turned and said to me , look after her she's a good woman! Some pictures appeared on social media but quickly disappeared!! So of all photos taken on this night out my wife does not appear in any of them despite all others being in them! The ones she was in were taken down quickly. On the drive home she said " its funny what happens at work nights out". I asked what happened and was told it's none of your business! When we arrived home she txt her colleague "omg what did I do". Her friend replied her her are you ok? The following day I posed a question as I it appeared to look if she had no wedding ring on in one of the photos that! I also mentioned the photos that were taken down! Now if it had been me I'd have said "what photos show me". But she immediately phoned a guy from work and said where are all the photos from last night! Then came the wedding ring, now again if that had been me I'd have said I'd never do that to you, whereas she said if I'd have done that then I'd put my hands up......so again my suspicion was raised as she didn't say she wouldn't have done that. A few days later I attended a fair at her work and her colleagues that spoke to me before couldn't look me in the eye and avoided any conversation or chat! My wife's colleague posted on Facebook "I hate girls who take the c**t out of there better halfs" and two of her other colleagues liked this, however the two that liked it are in there little group of 4! My wife who always likes everything that her friends/ colleagues post did not respond by liking this post! To me it seems that this could be a cover as they know something happens that night! So, onto the next bit.... our sex life has declined significantly and there's no kissing etc etc ever! She no longer sends me texts like she used to or any messages of love! I asked her why she never says I love you when she's in the phone and she told me I will never tell you I love you in front of my colleagues and I'll not show affection in public, it'll never happen! I can see the point if I was a terrible husband but I work hard to pay everything and I do all domestic chores at home too which I think is right. I love her and always try to make her feel special in various ways. So over the last few years I noticed various changes deleting messenger from our iPad, hiding her phone etc! I also noticed various stains etc appearing on underwear whilst I was putting on washing! So I purchased the onsite semen detection kit and over the last few days I have competed an AP (acid phosphatase test and a PSA test on several items of underwear, all tests have come me back positive. The last 2 PSA tests showed strong positive in less than a minute. Can anyone provide advice on how specific and accurate these test are. To have all come back positive seems pretty substantial. I tested another garment just with the AZp and that came back negative, so I know the test ain't showing any stain as positive! Now I know that PSA and AP have been found in women but I am still concerned that she is having an affair! The quickness of the test turning positive was overwhelming! I'm now thinking of having a microscopic test and DNA test done on the garments at a significant cost, but this is the last confirmatory test. Does anyone think the AP and PSA test is enough (as the manufacturer says the PSA is 100% specific) or should I have the microscopic test done too? I'm absolutely confused, gutted and alone, so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
Sofos
 
  0  
Reply Thu 7 Dec, 2017 10:01 am
@Monper,
Hello! We're rather interested of how things are with your wife at the moment.
I hope you get the chance to give us an update!

I sure hope everything is fine and you got your wife 100% for your self my friend!!!
0 Replies
 
Sofos
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Dec, 2017 10:30 am
@Bob1607,
Hello.
I wish I could give you some positive feedback , but unfortunately it doesn't look that bright. That said, some things are blessings in disguise.

Although I work in the psychiatric field (not psychology ) , I dare to say that your wife has a major personality disorder...and she is possibly a sociopath. Please, don't take offence to what I say. I am talking both from professional and personal experiences .

First of all, in plain English , your wife treats you like a dirt-bag and has no respect for you. Whether she is cheating or not( is one thing ). She is treating you with such disrespect and that is worth of walking away from her for that reason only.

The million dollar question is; can you accept her as she is? With that sort of behaviour ? It sounds like she is having a life of her own, doesn't want your affection and love and couldn't care less what you thinking of her. I'm really sorry that things are the way they are as it sounds that you really love her .

My advice is - Be super firm! Ger proof that she is cheating ( cause then you can legally divorce her and have the kids ), and then put the divorce papers on the table, no emotions, very cool, very calm, very silent. The secret to do this is to prepare! Mostly to prepare emotionally . You need to accept that this is not the person you thought she was. She is a selfish creature that has no care for you and would probably traumatise your kids as well (with her behaviour) by exposing them to this madness.

You're not alone my friend, so many people going through these sort of situations. Think of your kids and your self only! Detouch yourself from her, for she is damaging you slowly( perhaps even unintentionally ).

My guess is , if you do it as calm and calculative, she will beg you in the end. But she might not.

Think of your children, because I believe that this current situation will hurt them more than a divorce . Plus you have to lead by example! You show them how to live a life free of any tyrannic creature that enjoys treating you like used condom .

0 Replies
 
 

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