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I have decided to jump naked into the wilderness.

 
 
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:46 am
My life has been a little boring as of late. Same old routine every day, feed the capybaras, attend to the slender lorises, check on the squid, bang Gertrude, bang Matilda, fix the fence, check the mail, etc. etc.

I need somethnig different, something challenging. I have given this matter a considerable amount of thought and have decided to have a friend fly me deep into the Alaska wilderness, make a low pass over a lake, and at that point I will jump into the lake. Completely naked. Just me and the Alaskan wilderness.

The weather is still relatively warm up there, so I should have time to kill some animals and fashion a crude axe out of the bones, and chop down some trees and build a cabin before the snow flies.

Admittedly, it's going to be a challenge, but the inner Ratzenhofer is screaming for release. I have an urgent need to return to the days of the cave man.

Once I get established up there, and figure out how to design a laptop computer I'll be in touch.

Does anyone here know how to make plastic? I might need some of that.

What else? Hmmmm, can't think of anything right now.

Well, I better go get undressed for the trip.

Wish me luck.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 17,288 • Replies: 339
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:49 am
"Once I get established up there, and figure out how to design a laptop computer I'll be in touch."

Does this mean you could be gone for years, Gus? Sad
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:51 am
Not years, msolga. Months, perhaps.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:54 am
Oh. Sad
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:55 am
I have ALWAYS wanted to tell Ratty to go jump in the lake.
















Who will look after the animals, Gus?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:58 am
Mind you, Gus is never REALLY naked....


http://www.jokeornot.com/gallery/hairy_man.jpg
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:00 am
Why doesn't he put some of the back hair on his head. Glue or something should work.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:01 am
Poor Gus. He'll be scampering around in the wilderness. Nest thing you know, some novice hunter will think that he has discovered the Abominable Snowman,........................................and BANG!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:04 am
Won't Gus' balding head help identify him as human, Phoenix?

Truly, that is a bloodthirsty image - you have chilled my blood!
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:04 am
That's a chance I'll have to take, Phoenix.

I love living on the edge.
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paulaj
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:31 am
Gus

Did you say, axe, wilderness, naked?

For some strange reason I'm having some sort of flashback, and I'm excited.
0 Replies
 
jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 08:04 am
Gus I would hate for you to get ahead of yourself... why don't you take this short quiz to make sure you are ready for your adventure:

http://www.hilinelake.com/quiz3.html

#5 will really come in handy for you.
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 08:11 am
I got five questions right on the quiz. I humbly offer my services as wilderness guide to gus.
0 Replies
 
paulaj
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 08:19 am
JP

I got 4 answers right, do you think Gus will let me tag along?
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jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 08:22 am
I only got 4 right as well. I think we might be more of a liability for Gus.
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 08:30 am
Not until we know how many he got right. I would have had six, but that question about eating old man's root confused me, as we were talking about gus, so I answered 'never'.
0 Replies
 
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 08:39 am
well, since it's edible anytime, gus should have no problem. he can just regrow his beard and then eat it later.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 09:45 am
gus, please wear sunscreen. Wouldn't want you to get burned in any nether regions.
0 Replies
 
paulaj
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 09:52 am
Jes, good thinking-

Here is some 'Rocky Mountain Sunscreen'...for Gus' rocky mountain.

http://secure.centercube.com/ProductImages/small/Product_142.gif
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 09:57 am
I got six correct, meaning I will soon be naming a ball Wilson. I wonder how the equation changes if one is also naked.
0 Replies
 
 

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