Best friend hooked up with with friend-with-benefits

@PUNKEY,

Yep... I just had the urge to unblock her on facebook just to check her page. They've been dating ever since a week after I caught them. I don't know if this makes things better or worse and I'm too tired to figure it out.

And I don't see how I went into a lion's den like I could have ever seen this coming.

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@giujohn,

If I was selfish then I wouldn't have put my own feelings aside, even when on the inside I was dying, to encourage them to hook up.

I may have given her permission but she turned me down passionately and made me feel like my feelings were more important than some horny hookup. Isn't that what any real friend would do? In reality SHE proved to be the selfish one when she threw all that she told me away (if she ever meant any of it to begin with) and fucked him behind my back (she specifically waited until I was over my boyfriend's place. This was done sneakily). And I'M the selfish one?

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@disregarded96,

Like I said: maybe they wanted more than just casual sex.

So now they are a couple. Be happy for them.

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@disregarded96,

So let me ask you a question: if she had asked to **** him would you have said yes?

1 Reply

@disregarded96,

disregarded96 wrote:

fucked him behind my back (she specifically waited until I was over my boyfriend's place. This was done sneakily). And I'M the selfish one?

what does your boyfriend think about this?

1 Reply

@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

Yes, I am a woman, and all the women who have anwered you, including me, understand how you're feeling.

We are hardwired to want a stable relationship with someone, especially when we are younger.

no and no

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@chai2,

No worries; I've seen that before. Smile

As for the OP, yeah, cheating and then expecting someone (even a friend) to somehow respect the 'cheat relationship' which was just supposed to be about the beast with two backs anyway? Not so much.

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@giujohn,

Oh, absolutely. I would be a little skeeved out but I'd respect her honesty. And of course tell her not to do it in our flat. If she had asked or even straight up told me first, I'd probably still be her best friend.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

If he didn't take up another job and spend so much time away from me I might not even have FWBs. I require a lot of sexual attention, something he knew from the get-go. I broke up with him soon afterwards.

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@disregarded96,

disregarded96 wrote:

Oh, absolutely. I would be a little skeeved out but I'd respect her honesty. And of course tell her not to do it in our flat. If she had asked or even straight up told me first, I'd probably still be her best friend.

So what this boils down to is that you seem to have control issues. You seem to want to exercise control over your boyfriend, shack job and your roommate and are upset and assume a petchulant demeanor when you lose control. This seems to be very imature and selfish behavior. Until you become less childish may I suggest that you not involve others in your sexual escapades and stick to masterbation for now.

1 Reply

@giujohn,

Wow I'm so sick of people telling me this.

I think I just love myself and know my worth enough to not sit back and take being disregarded like that by people I trust.

I think I posted on the wrong forum, people here have obviously never experienced something like this. Thanks anyway.

1 Reply

I take you at first hand as being a self serving brat. Not that you are the only one.

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@ossobucotemp,

And I take you as being a backstabbing brat, I bet the reason you and the other are calling me selfish is because you've been on HER side and want to defend yourselves.

1 Reply

@disregarded96,

disregarded96 wrote:

I bet the reason you and the other are calling me selfish is because you've been on HER side

you lost that one

hand over the $

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Solipsism, a word for our poster to look up.

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@disregarded96,

I could excuse the behavior from a 15 year old but if you're old enough to be out on your own you should be old enough to know how to interact positively with others instead of being so self absorbed.

My mom had an old saying...50 million people arent usually wrong.

If the majority of posters here are telling you something they are probably more objective than you are...And more experienced at life...You know...Been there done that got the t-shirt...We've already made your mistakes. So grow up.

1 Reply

@giujohn,

Hey, I'll nod to giujohn this time.

1 Reply

I'm 20. So you're telling me that you've gone through something like this? How did you react to it?

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@disregarded96,

Badly...That's why I'm telling you you'er wrong.

It's just sex...Get over it. Your attitude regarding sex is certainly caviler when it comes to your own actions. But you seem to hold others to a higher standard.

If you want to throw away a friendship over some nookie you don't seem to have your priorities straight and don't understand the value of a friend.

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@ossobucotemp,

ossobucotemp wrote:

Hey, I'll nod to giujohn this time.

Just don't let it get out!

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Best friend hooked up with with friend-with-benefits

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