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How to rekindle sexual intimacy after betrayal

 
 
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 11:07 am
My wife caught me interacting with other female in social media site again in March this year, and was very angry. She still stay with me, but have refused to have any physical relationship with me since.
We do have common activities together, like walking, grocery shopping, and dinner together, but she told me she will not want to be hurt again, and do not want me any more.
How do I win back my wife? I have been clean since, but I do believe she needed time to heal, just that she has rejected counselling, because in her words, she do not want this relationship anymore, and thus no point going for counselling.
What can I do?
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 945 • Replies: 15

 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 12:00 pm
@Greywolf,
Well, I don't understand why she wants to stay with someone she does not trust and does not want to get intimate with, but I guess that is her choice. So I am guessing you need to decide if being married to someone without the physical relationship is acceptable to you. If it is, then great. If not, then I guess it would be up to you to end the marriage.

Based on your previous thread, she does have a right to be a bit upset with you. But if she wishes to stay in the marriage, then she should be willing to have a physical relationship with you. She cannot only halfway forgive you. It does not work that way.

You two need to talk big time. You need to stop messing around online and she needs to either forgive you or walk away if she cannot. You need to tell her if the non-physical relationship is unacceptable and discuss how the two of you can repair what you have broken. It may well take a bit of time.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 12:32 pm
@Greywolf,
why are you asking this again?

http://able2know.org/topic/331189-1
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 12:34 pm
@Greywolf,
actually ... I think it's time for you to get serious about separating.

Maybe both of you will smarten up - she will learn what it's like to live on her own without someone jumping when she says jump - you will learn to be more independent as well.
Greywolf
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 02:57 pm
@CoastalRat,
Thanks,
Guess. I have hurt her big time. There is nothing I can do to make her to forgive me, it is her progrative, not mine.

I guess I will have to wait.
0 Replies
 
Greywolf
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 02:59 pm
@ehBeth,
It s something close to my heart, that is why.
I am happy just to share the house with her, sending her to work, den with her, etc. Just that the physical intimacy part is a big problem.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 03:50 pm
@Greywolf,
Staying in the house with her is not going to change the current situation.

If you want things to change, you have to make changes in the situation.
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 04:33 pm
@Greywolf,
Do you work Greywolf? You say you are happy sending her to work.

This is at least the second time you were caught, she has no trust. To rebuild this is not at all easy.

I believe "you" need to go to counselling to establish why she is not enough for you, within your life, why you have the need for other women.

You say she is Christian and for that reason she won't Divorce. She has set her rules, you are the Father of her Children and at this stage, that is all she wants from you.

You need to change, get help, before you can even convince her that she is worth everything in the world to you, if she is...

Or is it "face "on your side, or is it just sex on your side that you really want from her, or is the "close to your heart" mean you truly love her...
Greywolf
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 08:41 pm
@ehBeth,
How? Any suggestion?
0 Replies
 
Greywolf
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 08:43 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Currently, I'm seeking counselling, as what u have said.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2016 09:49 pm
@Greywolf,
Quote:
My wife caught me interacting with other female in social media site again

I don't know what you were saying but I doubt it would matter to your wife. Blame the society who made the rules that make talking to another woman privately a crime. And blame youself for buying into them.
Greywolf
 
  3  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2016 07:21 am
@Leadfoot,
Thanks, but don't think it's very helpful.
Leadfoot
 
  0  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2016 08:51 am
@Greywolf,
You don't know until you try it...
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 10:35 pm
@CoastalRat,
Well...it is first time I am agreeing with you..almost.
So do we get naked anytime soon?
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Wed 14 Sep, 2016 10:38 pm
@Greywolf,
He is just pulling your leg.
'Christian' 'cheater' 'women in social media'...
You have it all man! Why do you need wife?
You are 13! Go play...
0 Replies
 
Tiger81
 
  2  
Reply Thu 15 Sep, 2016 08:52 am
well, I personally would not stay in a relationship where physical intimacy was deliberately withheld.
0 Replies
 
 

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