Unhappy in marriage

This has been a long time brewing and it's only getting worse. My husband is just unhappy about everything. He's always had jealousy issues with comparing us financially to other people and frequently getting upset when we can't afford vacations or when we couldn't afford an extravagant wedding. Intermittent jealousy has turned into him just being unhappy with everything we have and everything in his life. I dont know how to help him. A few years ago, I convinced him to see a therapist and it helped a little but the problem has gotten out of hand again.

He hates our house. We bought a big farmhouse on an acre lot with a detached garage and barn. At first he loved the space but now he's upset its going to take time to update it because we can't afford to do all of the renovations all at once.

He hates his job and has missed out on several promotions due to an "attitude problem". He's a chemist at a company with great benefits, flexible hours, and he seems to get along with his coworkers. I told him he could look for a new job if he wasn't happy there, but he can't find anything else with benefits as good as he has, and I think this frustrates him even more.

We have two horses and we used to ride together. He hasn't ridden his horse in 2 years and keeps making comments about his he wishes the old horse would die already so we can stop paying for him.

He used to seem to enjoy cooking and helping around the house but now it's like pulling teeth to get him to help. (Keep in mind we both work full time so household chores need to be shared.)

He talked me into trying to start a family even though I wanted to wait a few more years. I did get pregnant in August but miscarried in October. His behavior really deteriorated after the miscarriage. I was supposed to be bedridden after the miscarriage. He wouldn't stay home with me, cook for me, or help me at all. I ended up taking care of myself and then needing surgery to remove a blood clot. He acted annoyed each time he had to drive me to the hospital.

He pressured me into having sex before I was fully recovered and didn't seem to care when I was in pain afterwards. I keep trying to pleasure him other ways, but he's upset that I can't deep throat like a porn star.

Two nights ago, he actually had the nerve to ask me if we could have an open relationship so he could get with a girl at work. Keep in mind we have sex or otherwise about three times per week so it's not like we're in a sexless relationship, and I do everything I can to play into his fantasies.

I actually confronted him about the whole thing. He admitted he's acting the way he is because he just doesn't care about anything anymore. He's refusing my advice to see a Dr or a therapist.

It just feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle. The harder I try to make this man happy, the less happy he is. I can't keep doing this. I have tossed around the idea of divorce several times over the last few months but that feels like giving up. We've been through a lot together, and he's been my best friend for almost 9 years... I dont want to give up, but I can't live like this either... Does anyone have any advice for me?