Abuzz Guilt

Phoenix, I almost got fed up with Abuzz in that respect, too. I arrived more than a year after most of you regulars had laid claim to the place (which I say with utmost affection), and felt like I was peering through the window of a coffeeshop and watching the conversation without being exactly welcomed. Nutella, underwires, purse... huh? (I've since figured out most of this stuff. ) There was a tendency to not really acknowledge this new person, which is not something I usually stand for IRL. I had to be rather confrontational on a couple of threads to stand out -- there was something with you (I forget now) and I started an "Abuzz Anthropology" thread to figure out what the heck the social order was. Then people started to recognize me, and it got better from there.

But I'm definitely sympathetic to people who say they feel left out, and want to welcome them here. (Which I think we've all been doing a great job of.) Hi sunniegirl! I love the new name. And I'm happy that I already commented on that before I knew who you "really" were -- feels like I passed some kind of parable-ish test. (An old man dressed in rags comes to the door and asks for food...)

Why Chatoyant, how nice of you to let us know. I really did like your Abuzz presence, by the way. I change my name in the move too, but don't suppose anybody was fooled into thinking roger was different from akaRoger.

As for myself.....

I've met some wonderful people from Abuzz ~ thanks to my Mom. And I can't pinpoint why I never felt I fit in ~ it was always a cloud hanging over me, so to speak.

I feel it here sometimes, too. (Thanks to Craven's threat of never speaking to me again.....I'm trying to get over it.)

Whether or not anyone wants to admit it, there was a clique on Abuzz ~ and the doors slammed pretty hard on newcomers. I don't want that to happen here. Participation is the key, but sometimes ya just gotta open people up a bit. Welcoming folks is one thing ~ keeping them is another. (Sorry ~ my hotel biz experience coming out. But, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.)

Phoenix, I'm not really sure I can explain why I felt that way on Abuzz. So many people seemed close, maybe they kept in touch through e-mail or in other ways. For the most part, I felt like sozobe, standing on the outside looking in. I never created very many interactions - that might be part of it too.

sozobe, your idea for the Abuzz Anthropology thread was a great one. I don't believe I ever posted in it, but I have it in my bookmarks and look at it every now and then. Interesting! I need to come up with some catchy interactions. Any ideas to share? And yes, as my friend from Tennessee would say in his dahhhling drawl ... "Mz sozobe spake a parable!"

roger, thank you. You were one of the few in Abuzz who I felt accepted by. And it really did make me when I saw you wanted to invite me to join here. I figured you were the new, refurbished akaRoger, but when I saw this thread, I knew it. Now I'm thinking, and I'd like the opinion of anyone who sees this, on my signature line - should I write "aka sunniegirl" or some such? I don't mean to steal anything from you, Roger. It's something I've been ponderin' (the Tennessee connection again).

See you all around!

Ditto, Rae. It took me months before I felt like I belonged at all. I was in and out of abuzz -- took a stab here and there responding and/or posting and then ran away. I did eventually feel like I was a real 'member', but then when some of the not-so-nice folks started playing games -- well, you know the rest. I don't think your feelings were the least bit unusual or rare -- unless a newcomer was really 'pushy', they didn't really get noticed by too many people and there was lots of 'insider' talk going on which took a long time to figure out and which I never really participated in (that's why I posted myself so much rather than joining other threads).

Be yourself chatoyant. That's all I'm doing. Names don't mean much in the end.

Ditto on Roger, by the way. He became my best buddy on Raven's Realm and I don't know what I'd do without him anymore.

Love ya Roger.

Isn't it impossible for you to have posted twice at the same moment (which is also the same time I posted)?

Why is it that a person sometimes thinks he/she is the only one feeling a certain way? Rae and bandylu, I'm sorry you felt that way in Abuzz too. But I'm also a bit relieved that it wasn't just me, and there are probably a lot more, probably some who would surprise us if they admitted it!

Look folks ~ I'm not trying to be a coddled kid here. And I know most of ya'll aren't taking it that way.

The internet is a great place to interact, but the same protocal befalls us here as in real life. I would like to think that because of the history of Abuzz and the honesty that people seem fairly happy to admit to here, will result in a friendlier place to be. For everyone.

I think most of us have the same goal in that we want this place to be a comfortable place to go ~ even if it means a bit of argument. But, if we're going to put the Welcome Mat out, we need to stick to that. Again.....

For everyone.

I'm with you Rae!

Cool beans!

I have a compadre!

Muy beuno!

Gracias, chatoyant/sunniegirl!

My pleasure, seniorita. (I need to brush up on my Spanish).

Well, this is the place to do it! jjorge should be around shortly to translate for us en Espanol.....

This is sooo strange. In Abuzz, I did NOT feel part of whatever that clique was. (I never knew about Nutella, until I heard about it there). I rarely became involved in those chatty type threads. Towards the end, I did communicate with a small number of people by E Mail, but that was not personal. It was an effort that we were attempting to salvage the site, which was rebuffed by the powers-that-be.

I get an entirely different feeling here. I don't know whether it is because A2K is small right now, or what, but I feel that I have gotten to "know" people more in these last couple of months than I did in all the years on Abuzz. Personally, whenever I see a new name, I send a PM of greeting. (If I left out anybody here, please take this as an apology- I have probably missed some!)

Believe it or not, I have gotten a lot from the ability to show emotion thru the smileys. If you think about it, I'll bet there were many misunderstandings on Abuzz, for the simple reason that that there was no way to determine what was REALLY meant by some of the things that were written.

I think that the warmth and friendliness that I find here, has a lot to to with the attitude, the tone that has been set, thanks in a great part to Jes and Craven. I think that the atmosphere that is being set here, respect for other people, inclusiveness, and friendliness, will stand us in good stead over the coming years.

What can I say. I love ya, guys!

Psssst . . . ok, ok, i love you too, darlin' . . . we just gotta make sure Lovey don't catch us . . .

One major advantage to this site, is the absence of the rating system.
I think that killed abuzz, a long time ago.

Phoenix:

I remember Nutella. I also remember that crazy guy, who spent the entire summer wrapping his head in bubble gum. He was only one amongst thousands who had PROBLEMS.

New Haven- Agree- the rating system (after the "change") harkened the death knell of Abuzz.

Not to minimize what's been said here but I think there are people who feel like they are on the outside looking in at every on-line discussion site I've ever been on.

There is an initial hurdle that everyone has to clear to become a "member" of the group. I managed to do that with some groups on Abuzz but not with others. I happened to stumble acros Abuzz in Jun 2000 and there were all sorts of on-going "party" threads. I just jumped into one and started posting just going with the flow. As it turned out it happened to be a thread that Diva, Adian, Stoat, debster, Ridinghood and a bunch of others were in and things, for me, went from there so I never really felt "left out". There were other groups that never responded to my posts so I just drifted away from them.

In my first few months I tried to pass a "welcome" note to every new name I saw but that just became overwhelming after a while with a few hundred people joining every day. I did welcome new people as I ran across them day in and day out up until I signed off of Abuzz completely but I didn't hit every one of them.

We'll have cliques here too - It's a natural thing. As the number of people grows our ability to interact with all of them dimishes so we select a few and interact with them for the most part.

These types of threads do help though. If the newcomers can find them they recognize that it's someplace they can post safely. As long as the thread doesn't become a target of opportunity for trolls anyway...