5
   

Boyfriend was cheating our entire relationship!

 
 
Km2772
 
Reply Tue 13 Sep, 2016 11:45 am
I met a man who I thought was the one. Yes, he was divorced with children and I'm never married with none, but I was smitten right away. We hit it off and agreed to become exclusive about a month or two in. Little things started happening that didn't add up and I became suspicious as I have been cheated on before. Over the next two months I caught him in lies and started seeing random cars at his house when I'd show up unexpectedly (yes I did that). Come to find out he was cheating on me the whole time. He had girls on rotation that would see him the one or two nights out of the week I wasn't there. He had a girl over the night we agreed to be exclusive. I dumped his sorry ass last week, but my question is how do I not let this effect my self esteem? It hurts to know he not only had one girl, but multiple girls along for the ride. Why he felt the need to lie to my face every single time I'd question it. He had the option to leave anytime, but never took it. This is very damaging to do to another person and he seems to think it's both of our faults. I pushed him to do it. I don't know how I pushed when he was doing it from the start. This is really hard for me to understand. Anyone else experience this? And is there a chance he'll pop up in the future once I'm doing well again? Sad
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Tue 13 Sep, 2016 12:44 pm
@Km2772,
Repeat after me:

He's an asshole.
He's probably a narcissist.
I didn't do anything wrong.
He's an asshole.


Block him. Kick him out if he comes over.

Get therapy if you like, to give you some tools for dealing with it.

Some people are assholes. He is one of them. Be strong. You can do this.
Tiger81
 
  4  
Reply Tue 13 Sep, 2016 12:50 pm
@jespah,
Where's the "Like" button?
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2016 12:07 pm
@Km2772,
My ex did that while living with me. More men are like this than not, in my experience....
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2016 01:51 pm
@Medusax,
In mine, more men aren't like this, than not.

And so we have proven how useful anecdotes are in this instance.
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2016 01:58 pm
@Tiger81,
it's the thumbs up button...
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2016 02:07 pm
@jespah,
Me too. All of us, unless we're saints, and even then.. are assholes on occasion to someone else who didn't really deserve it. The men I've been with in my now long life have been good people, including the just friends people. I don't think that's luck exactly. It's having self esteem. Self esteem can be hard to grab if you haven't had it in your life, but this is an instance of where to start - if someone lies even once, it's something to cause concern, and if it is often, you are in asshole-ville. Time to vamoose.
0 Replies
 
Helen2016
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2016 06:19 pm
I just got caught out by a cheating boyfriend who left me for someone else. I let my guard down with him - I was really stupid. With an earlier boyfriend, I found out about his cheating, and got my revenge in a nice way. I'd have done the same with this one if I'd found out in time. You need to be the one to find out before he acts further on it, and then teach him a real lesson.
0 Replies
 
 

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