How can I not be sad over never being approached and having low self esteem?

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I feel sad and unattractive because I am 21 and NEVER approached by men (even not my ugly, confident, or ugly men). To be honest, it has lowered myself esteem and I cannot seem to approach a guy. I see men look or stare at me but it seems like they never have the confidence to talk to me. I just wish for a guy to approach me to ask for my number/ask me out but I feel like it will never happen and I will be forever alone. I know I may seem dramatic, but I literally sit in my bedroom crying every night because I think about why I cannot get a man to come talk to me. What can I do to overcome my sad feelings about not being approached/feeling unattractive and that I will never have a partner who will love me?

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 2,078 • Replies: 5

[+5] - jespah - 09/07/2016You will need to do the approaching. But you will also need to flip your mental script. This business of "just wish(ing) for a guy to approach me to ask for my number" is a lousy way...

@kkbonito,

As is often the case, the minute you stop looking for something, you'll find it. Forget about relationships and don't give them so much importance. Be friendly but not desperate and you'll find you instantly are and will seem more confident. One day, you'll just bump into a relationship. I don't know anyone who's with anybody that they really 'set out' to find. Insouciance and patience are the name of the game.

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@kkbonito,

You will need to do the approaching.

But you will also need to flip your mental script. This business of "just wish(ing) for a guy to approach me to ask for my number" is a lousy way to go about getting into a relationship.

Instead, spend time with people doing things you enjoy. Go to school (even something informal like a pottery class). Hit the gym. Go for walks. Volunteer. Join a summer stock theater. Join Meetup and revisit your hobbies, whether it's knitting or cosplay or a book discussion group. There will be, usually, people of both genders. But talk to everyone, because everyone knows someone.

Don't wait for the world to come to you. It won't.

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When you don't respond - smile, - or look approachable, then you give off vibrations of not wanted to interact. So people are picking that up, especially guys who are so visual.

Can you see YOUR part in this?

Get a makeover. Smile more. Work with 4 years olds, they know how to make friends.
l

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@kkbonito,

Quote:

What can I do to overcome my sad feelings about not being approached/feeling unattractive and that I will never have a partner who will love me?

Smile, wink, talk, flaunt: show those men what you've got hon. Oh, and report back.

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@kkbonito,

said- "What can I do to overcome my sad feelings about not being approached/feeling unattractive and that I will never have a partner who will love me?"
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Attractiveness is to do with 6 things- face, hair, body, clothes, shoes and personality, so I'm sure you and anybody else could score at least 4 if you tried, which is an above average grade .. Smile

For example I once dated a woman who had a nice face and figure, but she wore oldfashioned dull clothes and horrible flat shoes and yukky close-cropped hair, and hardly spoke at all, so she scored only 2 out of 6 and I dumped her.

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How can I not be sad over never being approached and having low self esteem?

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