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Tue 14 Sep, 2004 09:54 pm
Hi
I have been with my partner for 8 years and im concerneed. He lies sometimes about silly things. I have a trust issue with him i think but im not sure tell me what you think. Reecently i asked him to transfer some money from one of his bank accounts to another and he said he would do it.. I have asked him since if he has doen i and he has said yes number of time however upon snopping today in his account i find that he hasnt what should i do should i confront him and how.
I only did it cause i had an inclination that he was lying he lies about things like htis
Anyway tell me what you think
And once you confess to snooping, how is he supposed to trust you?
Unless there is some major repercussiuon to you that you haven't mentioned that will result from him not transferring the money there isn't any point in confronting anyone unless you are just in a mood to fight with someone over something that seems fairly minor at this point.
No there is not a major repercussion he just said that he would do it. I know but doesnt his liaring have repercussions.I mean does this mena that he thinks he can get away with lying to me
I use to go out with a guy who lied all the time and once you lose the trust, you can never gain it back. I personally could never be with a man again that constantly lied to me.
so what does that mean should i confornt him about it althougth i snooped
Just a question, when you snooped, was there any indication of money problems?
I would confront him and tell him the only reason why you snooped is because he hasn't given you any reason to trust him. Others might not agree, but I personally couldn't deal with that.
I am rather surprised to hear that the poor fellow is apparently to be ordered about with regard to his personal finances. Several questions have not been asked here, and Montana, shame on you for rushing to judgment. If this man has someone constantly looking over his should and attempting to order his personal affairs for him, i would not wonder at all that he would lie to get her off his back.
Why did you tell him to transfer the money? How is it your business to tell him to do such a thing? Why should he answer to you at all about how he handles his financial arrangements?
I'm with Setanta on this one. I think any 'issues' here are yours. Also, you should answer the questions if you want sound advice.
Ok ok, you're right Set! Sometimes I take a piece from my own past and jump the gun by posting too quickly. I certainly don't understand the whole situation, but I gathered from her post that he lies constantly just for the hell of it. If she nags him all the time about things that don't concern her, then I can't say I blame him. If that is the case, then I don't think they have a healthy relationship and should break it off.
We do need more information from the poster here.
I would agree--although i would wish to be able to speak to him and to tell him to run for his life . . .
No doubt Cav. We honestly can't give advice from the little we've been told. I jumped the gun when I should have waited for more information.
Setanta wrote:I would agree--although i would wish to be able to speak to him and to tell him to run for his life . . .
I would also like to hear his side of the story.
Sorry for the lack of info
Thnaks for your advice but i think ti really helped i guess i am pushing him around too much it is just that we want to move in with each other next year and he has been in som seroious finacial prbolems
Then I suggest you don't move in together. Since you don't even live together now, I think it was very wrong of you to go snooping through his financial stuff. Why would you want to live with a man you can't trust and who is financially unstable?
Oh for Christ sake . . . a complete stranger shows up here with a one-sided, very incomplete narrative of some dubious activities on her part, allegedly to demonstrate the untruthfulness of another stranger about whom we know nothing . . . and Phoenix brands him a pathological liar . . . that just makes me ill . . . this is one of the main reasons i rarely dip into the relationship threads--the number of self-righteous busybodies willing to hand out advice on little or no information is depressing . . .
Setanta
We are simply giving advice on the information that was given to us. Obviously, we haven't heard his side of the story, so all we can do is go by what we are told.
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