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Girlfriend very self conscious. Comparing herself to others and putting herself down

 
 
gorff
 
Reply Tue 16 Aug, 2016 11:36 pm
I think she is gorgeous!! I really think she is more attractive than any woman I have ever seen. Nobody compares to her. She's amazing! On top of that, who she is as a person. But this post is just about her looks so I will stick to that.

She compares herself to other women, and see's what she considers to be flaws in the way she looks. Then she gets down and depressed. Luckily she is open enough with me to let me know how she feels about herself. There are other things, but at this point it is primarily a physical image issue.

Im looking for ways to talk to her and encourage her. Sofar I have mentioned about having peace with yourself. Like me for example, some might say I am attractive. I personally don't think I am very over the top. But I am happy with myself. I am at peace and don't really compare myself to other guys. Sure, I wish I had different features about me. But I don't as genetics wont allow.. and Im fine with it.

I don't know how to show her how to feel the way I do about myself. Is there something I can say?? I love this girl! She is drop dead gorgeous, and I want her to see it too and stop comparing herself and love herself more!
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Wed 17 Aug, 2016 05:39 am
@gorff,
This is more deep-seated than supportive boyfriend talk. A lot of people have body image issues, and young women are particularly pushed to have them. Advertising and the media really push it these days. Every model is thin, young, and often pale. Westernized features tend to be emphasized. Poses are to look at men in photo shoots, or to look at other women in order to, you guessed it, appeal to men. Read any so-called women's magazine, and they are all about pleasing men, whether it's through sexy talk, losing weight, baking cookies, wearing certain fashions, or acting subservient.

There are exceptions, yes. So try steering her to some of them.

Is she athletic at all? Then try competitions. Maybe she can run? If she can, then finisher medals can be a lot of fun and give a sense of accomplishment (or do you think she would be upset if she didn't win?). An athletic competition is about superiority, yes, but it's not about looks. The prettiest girls don't necessarily win the race, and neither do the thinnest.

If athletics isn't her forte, what about making art? Again, the idea is for a sense of accomplishment in something which isn't looks-based.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Aug, 2016 04:01 pm
OMG - she is SO boring!!

This will only get worse as she gets older.

This diva personality combined with low self esteem will drive you crazy.
gorff
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Aug, 2016 04:55 pm
@PUNKEY,
She is not boring at all..
And it's pretty presumptuous to say it will get worse as she gets older. There is nothing diva about her. She just has some esteem things to work out. Thanks for your comment though
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