Neverending Rap Battle

The flow is slow and it sucks.
The rhymes are ok-ish. (Jumangi and panty don't rhyme. Neither do money and peny)
Structure was cutting off the bars
Okay wordplay
NO multi syllables

start rapping pussy hole

Look back a couple pages... Pussy hole

I'll rap after class

Hey dick biscuit
This bitchtits
Gonna get in this
Fuckin hack slash you hag bash fag
Piece of trash you gonna crash and burn
You don't **** with predecessors, when you gonna learn?
You lesser guessers needing a better processor!
The only way you could do worse, is by fuckin with the professor, cousin!
Cuntmuffin, huffin and puffin, for a big bad wolf,
you outta toughen up and stuff, man!
You ran and ran on the beaches
Sand through the toes escaping homeland sieges
Lead by my army extending to far far regions
Far far places yah far are our reaches!
So sit down
Out and down
**** the crowd
Find the crown
Live it down
And leave it now

you, wrathe, d12l, and cranky are the pussies

actually wrathe had balls t respond to disses so i respect him for that
as for all of the others
stop talking..you just got here you dont run ****

start rapping........stop talking

take the last 6 lines out..it makes no sense
and will help your verse alot
messes up the structure

sorry man i go to school

heres what's up

cranky we dont need a warning because your rhymes are 2nd grade dr seuss rhymes, but we can help you if you're willing


and d12L i suggest you change your name because D12 is a REAL rap group , but you do have some good rhymes, but still a lot of room for improvment


and if any of you two wnna battle me, reply to this

ill show you lyrics and rhyming schemes up the ass

holla

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t3YAb0-Iwc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Listen to this **** lol your gonna die

thanks for the advice and criticism

You’re an illiterate kid with an illegitimate style.
You think you “run ****”, fat kid? Pass out after 1 mile.
This is my first account; you’ve completed how many trials?
Logging off and on to make it seem like you have rivals.
Should I switch my rhyme scheme to get D.F.C.’s respect? While,
I’m claiming to be king like I’m in self-denial.
Your repeating the same thing, like self-suicidal.
“The Devil’s your disciple” so I’ll beat you with the Bible.

“Open on Arrival” now access the competition.
I’m sick witted so you should witness my sick vision.
You can’t complete a sentence without trippin’ up or slippin’.
And your “sewer line” lyrics, got me **** sniffin’.
Talk about dicks, when you aint got a chick to stick ur dick in.
Takin’ more Viagra wont stop your dick lickin’.
You need to take prescriptions to quicken up your **** spittin’.
Being dissed by a turtle? HAHA Man you gotta be kiddin’.

re-posted

The **** that has to do with his comment?

****-yeah, let's go!

19 lines with 51 rhymes so fine
Sublime, my time is, while you're fuckin with yo dick jizz
Gonna drown in it, your downing it,
Not even "cumming" up for a breath
So addicted, you treat it like meth
Wake up, the ****? Passed out on the couch
All slouched, like a hungover grouch, (ouch!)
In a hotel, with that ho's smell, I can tell
You need to rewind, unwind, and find, confined
Thoughts that made you forgot,
that you smoked all that pot, damn, dirty rot
You got, ta avoid gettin caught, by the fuckin cops
All over the spot, but I can't make you to blame
I also might go down, in flame
Prayin for fame? Most would find that **** lame
But I see it as treasure, together
Hopin for pleasure, and dollars for good measure
It takes two, to lose, looks like we fit
Spit so much ****, it's "true grit" against a bitchtit

umm so do i

lol never mention me in a verse.....stick around and you'll why

If I had Remixed

I'm tired of these wack ass emcees hittin the stage 
I'm tired of workin off books for less than minimum wage 
I'm tired of being there for people from past relations 
I'm tired of these convenience stores rippin up my applications 
I'm tired of having 2 pairs of shirts and jeans 
I'm tired of being told I'm a nobody with worthless dreams
I'm tired of gettin stabbed in the back 
I'm tired of people who can't write for themselves askin for raps 
I'm tired of saying I haven't made a dollar off of this 
I'm tired of merking kids in battles and people saying I lost the **** 
I'm tired of using paper plates 
I'm tired of this beard growin cuz I can't afford a razor blade 
I'm tired of people leavin then comin back sayin they missin me 
I'm tired of seeing 2 presents under the Christmas tree 
I'm tired of feelin like my parents parent now 
I'm tired of poverty being the only line of mine people care about 


Chorus 


I'm tired of **** talkers not havin a sack 
I'm tired of beating the **** out of kids who say they'll put a cap in my ass
I'm tired of only friends sayin I'm comin with the best **** 
I'm tired of being the illness emcee killin these beats and not getting any credit
I'm tired of not having any label mates 
I'm tired of trying to record but the programs takin days
I'm tired of these punks thinking they own the state 
I'm tired of havin to hold this weight on my shoulder blades 
I'm tired of this mental disease 
I'm tired of having the urge to grab the metal and squeeze 
I'm tired of all the medications
I'm tired of havin to eat food that's past the expiration 
I'm tired of being scared of depression 
I'm tired of paying money for these bullshit therapy sessions 
I'm tired of never getting to produce this list of scripts 
I'm tired of putting this knife to my arm and feelin like nobody gives a ****

hes calling me a pussy for not replying fast enough for him, i was a little busy in school

wait, you dont want me to mention you in my verses? oooh ok im sorry i didnt know thats what you wanted, i wont do it anymore...

lol dude dont worry about man..lol i sometimes take things serious...but i'm cool...just ask white, bambi, prof and if shutdown comes back..cause shutdown knows what happens

alright man, im not trying to start **** with anyone, just expanding and experimenting