I've heard from a number of women of colour IRL that they intensely dislike it when men of other ethnicities(in practice they have always meant white men)prefers their ethnic group. The girls in question have been indian, iranian, chinese, syrian, turkish, moroccan, bangladeshi, pakistani and burundian.They find it demeaning.
Do each of these women find it demeaning when a guy from their own race has a preference for just their own race? Eg does the Indian girl find it demeaning if an Indian guy who likes her, has a preference for Indian women?
My guess is that most of them would never even have thought to ask themselves such a question - it's only when it's a person from another race that it has become an issue to them... (you see the problem here, right?)
Further to the absurdity of such a belief - if she didn't find it demeaning (Indian girl finding it demeaning that an Indian guy who likes her, holds a preference for Indian girls), then she would in effect, be applying a different standard to a person from another race, in a negative way...ie. she would be being racist.
In contrast, the belief that we are each allowed to be attracted to the look that we are attracted to...suffers no such contradictory standards. It acknowledges that we are human, that we vary in so many different ways (including taste), and it accepts such variance.
Do you have other experiences? I agree that the internet can easily warp ones perspective
When something is not a problem, it's not discussed...I've almost never heard this discussion.
Many years ago, I dated a caucasian woman who had always previously dated Lebanese men. I thought it odd, but nothing more than that. A guy at work has a preference for oriental women. I think it odd, but nothing more than that. Then again, I also think it odd when slim men have preferences for extra large women...but nothing more than that. We are all human, with different tastes.
As to why you would personally run into so many people with such views - that is likely because you are hanging around with groups that hold such views (birds of a feather flock together sort of thing).
There are plenty of other groupings of people who do not hold such views, and accept people for who they are.