8
   

How to cure a racial preference?

 
 
Reply Sun 3 Jul, 2016 05:12 am
Racial preferences: Recently I have been looking into this phenomenon which seems to be quite well known. The most common variant seems to be the so called "yellow fever", a racial preference for orientals by non- orientals but there exists as many variants as there are ethnicities. They are usually grouped together and referred to as race fetishes.

The fetish can be romantic/emotional or sexual/physical in nature but it basically boils down to a person having an exclusionary or almost exclusionary attraction to persons of another ethnic group.

The general concensus online is that this kind of preference is not only racist but demeaning towards the objects of the fetish.
Sometimes the fetish is connected to racist stereotypes but even when it isnt it is regarded as objectifying.

A link with some information: everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/racial-preferences-are-racist/

So, now that we established that racial fetishes are deeply problematic, how does one go about fixing it? Is there any way to overcome or get rid of such harmful thought patterns? While the problem itself is well described I have found few suggestions on how to solve it.

Any insights would be appreciated!

To clarify: there is no problem with interracial relationships in general but when one partner likes the other, in part, because of their race that constitutes a problem.

On a personal note I can add that I myself suffer from this problem and while I fully accept it as a severe character flaw I have so far been unsuccesful in doing anything about it.


  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 5,713 • Replies: 78

 
snood
 
  5  
Reply Sun 3 Jul, 2016 08:37 am
@NorthernInquirer,
A "severe character flaw"? So, what's your thought about a preference for blond versus brunette, tall vs short, hairy versus smooth, thin versus thick, ...?
NorthernInquirer
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jul, 2016 09:28 am
@snood,
That is a very good question. I would argue that having a racial preference is in most but not all cases qualitatively different from having other kinds of preferences. For one thing, very few people would only date blondes though
they may prefer it all other things being equal.

Secondly, racial constructs comes with a lot of associations and baggage that other traits do not. Very few face serious prejudice or discrimination due to their eye colour or hirsuteness.

I will concede that there is some overlap in that I am sure that there are people who simply have a preference for certain traits often found in one ethnicity that is as innocous as a fondness for blondes- an african woman who prefers blond men would logically be more drawn to white men after all.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Jul, 2016 09:36 am
@NorthernInquirer,
From my way of seeing things as an Asian, I think beauty is race blind.
tony5732
 
  -3  
Reply Fri 9 Sep, 2016 05:25 pm
@NorthernInquirer,
Well, sexuality is just preference. It doesn't need to be "cured". People pick their partners to suit their needs and there is not much more too it. If everyone gets yellow fever, than there are more yellow babies next generation and so on and so on. Oh well! If a person thinks it's demeaning, than they don't have to sleep with someone who appreciates their race.

Personally, I try getting a little of EVERY flavor and so far have yet to try the Asian cuisine. Definitely on my list though.
0 Replies
 
snood
 
  3  
Reply Fri 9 Sep, 2016 09:19 pm
@cicerone imposter,
cicerone imposter wrote:

From my way of seeing things as an Asian, I think beauty is race blind.


How does your being Asian have to do with your opinion on this?
cicerone imposter
 
  2  
Reply Fri 9 Sep, 2016 11:06 pm
@snood,
I have had relations with several races/cultures in my bachelor days.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Sep, 2016 03:50 am
@NorthernInquirer,
Quote:
That is a very good question. I would argue that having a racial preference is in most but not all cases qualitatively different from having other kinds of preferences.
No - they can stem from exactly the same source - an attraction to a particular look. This is entirely normal in every human being. You only have to talk to different people to realise how many different 'look' preferences exist.

-------------------------

You talk about racism...offering attraction to 'orientals' as being racist. This is very flawed - there are a LOT of different oriental races. Which race is it racist against? Which race are they treating negatively?

Surely you aren't saying that they treat a race negatively by being attracted to them? Apply that principle to people who are attracted to their own race, and you are saying they are treating their own race negatively...it's a ludicrous line of thought.

------------------

As to that - do you realise that you are saying:
- a person attracted to a different race, is a racist...
- while making no case whatsoever against a person attracted to only their own race?

I wouldn't call either racist - I would just say that is their preference.
---------------------

When did people become not allowed to have a preference regarding what 'look' they are attracted to?
cicerone imposter
 
  2  
Reply Sat 10 Sep, 2016 11:03 pm
@vikorr,
Here in California, we often see mixed marriages with Asians. I don't think people think anything about it.
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Sat 10 Sep, 2016 11:26 pm
When I was single, I never let race factor into whom I courted. If there is mutual attraction why not pursue it?
vikorr
 
  0  
Reply Sun 11 Sep, 2016 02:12 am
@cicerone imposter,
I think the majority of people don't think anything about such attractions. But it seems our OP has been visiting sites that warp what is normal:

Quote:
The general concensus online is that this kind of preference is not only racist ...
Quote:
On a personal note I can add that I myself suffer from this problem and while I fully accept it as a severe character flaw...
zerodark420
 
  -3  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2016 03:16 am
@NorthernInquirer,
Saying racial preference is racist or in any way an issue is like saying being LGBT is being sexist. You sound like an idiot.
NorthernInquirer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Sep, 2016 03:41 pm
@zerodark420,
I am not sure that is an apt equivalent. And there have been numerous attempts to make homosexuals hetero, all of which have failed. In most people gender specific attractoion is probably deeply ingrained and I doubt race specific attraction is really neurologically or psychologically similar to sexual orientation as it pertains to gender.
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Sep, 2016 03:51 pm
I don't think there's any comparison between sexual preference to cultural preference. I think sexual preference has to do with the brain's chemistry, while cultural preference is a choice. People without prejudice can look upon another race as equal, and will have good social intercourse and/or marry.
NorthernInquirer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Sep, 2016 03:53 pm
@vikorr,
I've heard from a number of women of colour IRL that they intensely dislike it when men of other ethnicities(in practice they have always meant white men)prefers their ethnic group. The girls in question have been indian, iranian, chinese, syrian, turkish, moroccan, bangladeshi, pakistani and burundian.They find it demeaning.

Some female friends have noticed my own pattern and commented that I only seem to like indian(or other south asian)girls. They have all indicated that they find it distasteful and something I have to deal with.Even some male friends have expressed concern over me not showing interest in other girls.

Do you have other experiences? I agree that the internet can easily warp ones perspective

NorthernInquirer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Sep, 2016 03:54 pm
@edgarblythe,
That is tdefinitely the ideal! Race should not be a factor.
0 Replies
 
NorthernInquirer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Sep, 2016 03:59 pm
@cicerone imposter,
I agree. But how does one remove ones subconscious prejudices?
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Sep, 2016 04:27 pm
@NorthernInquirer,
Education; to show that racial prejudice is simply ignorance. Many practice prejudice because they feel superior to other races. Ignorance.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Fri 23 Sep, 2016 09:45 pm
@cicerone imposter,
There is data on this.

Most people say they don't have a racial preference. Most people behave as if they do have a racial preference. Some of the dating sites have interesting data to confirm this... they ask people whether they have a racial preference. Then they collect data on the people who they actually show interest in.

Here is an example of this phenominon. Most of us are more racist in our behavior than we even admit to ourselves.

https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/race-attraction-2009-2014/
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  0  
Reply Sat 24 Sep, 2016 05:45 pm
@NorthernInquirer,
Quote:
I've heard from a number of women of colour IRL that they intensely dislike it when men of other ethnicities(in practice they have always meant white men)prefers their ethnic group. The girls in question have been indian, iranian, chinese, syrian, turkish, moroccan, bangladeshi, pakistani and burundian.They find it demeaning.

Do each of these women find it demeaning when a guy from their own race has a preference for just their own race? Eg does the Indian girl find it demeaning if an Indian guy who likes her, has a preference for Indian women?

My guess is that most of them would never even have thought to ask themselves such a question - it's only when it's a person from another race that it has become an issue to them... (you see the problem here, right?)

Further to the absurdity of such a belief - if she didn't find it demeaning (Indian girl finding it demeaning that an Indian guy who likes her, holds a preference for Indian girls), then she would in effect, be applying a different standard to a person from another race, in a negative way...ie. she would be being racist.

In contrast, the belief that we are each allowed to be attracted to the look that we are attracted to...suffers no such contradictory standards. It acknowledges that we are human, that we vary in so many different ways (including taste), and it accepts such variance.

-------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Do you have other experiences? I agree that the internet can easily warp ones perspective
When something is not a problem, it's not discussed...I've almost never heard this discussion.

Many years ago, I dated a caucasian woman who had always previously dated Lebanese men. I thought it odd, but nothing more than that. A guy at work has a preference for oriental women. I think it odd, but nothing more than that. Then again, I also think it odd when slim men have preferences for extra large women...but nothing more than that. We are all human, with different tastes.

As to why you would personally run into so many people with such views - that is likely because you are hanging around with groups that hold such views (birds of a feather flock together sort of thing).

There are plenty of other groupings of people who do not hold such views, and accept people for who they are.


 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » How to cure a racial preference?
Copyright © 2018 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 05/20/2018 at 04:01:28