I can't stay faithful

Have you completed high school? if not, do that as soon as possible.

If you have completed high school, get yourself some college qualifications.

Ik I do. I just really don't want it to end. I don't know what I was thinking agreeing to move overseas. I guess because I'm hoping the two years away from my family, and friends, and stuff will be good for us. My husband still hasn't forgiven me for the emotional affair. Obviously if he knew about the physical he would die inside. I can't put him threw that pain.

in that case, go talk to your family doctor as soon as possible so counselling can be set up before you travel.

Do I just ride it out and hope that when I move overseas my mindset will change? Or how do I heal? I can't go to counseling because he doesn't want me to. He doesn't think anything is wrong with me. I have been diagnosed with adhd, and depression with anxiety. I am not on meds because he blames the meds on part of my actions. I feel so lost. I was so much happier when I was in a emotional affair. I try to keep my mind distracted but Its so hard.

go talk to your family doctor asap

it is NOT up to your husband whether or not you go to counselling

it is up to you and your doctor

Oh, nonsense. I never cheated on anyone I was with. Especially not my husband.

The problem is not a matter of geographical location. Everything in your mind will go with you wherever you go. I've known alcoholics who were certain that if they just moved a couple states away from friends and family, they wouldn't have the desire to drink. But the geographical cure doesn't exist.

I want it to though. Fortunately I don't drink or do drugs otherwise I know my mindset would be worse.

Yes I completed high school. I think about college but nothing I am Really good at.

Good for you.
And how is that related to my suggestion that the OP may be mistaking the need for intimacy as a need for sex? Seems especially likely since she said she was happier when having an 'emotional affair'.

This. And it's 'when', and not 'if'.

I don't want my marriage to end. I just don't know where or how to get help without counseling. It tortures my mind. I almost want to get back into a emotional affair so at least It won't be physical.

Go to see your family doctor. Talk to the doctor about counselling. It is NOT your husband's business if you go to counselling.

Rethink travelling to another country.

You might not have a choice in this. IF your husband feels that he cannot live with a cheater, he'll file for divorce regardless.

You are 24 years old, have already 3 children and jeopardize your marriage because you cannot stay faithful. Sex starts in your mind and if you cannot control your mind, you're in dire straits.

Moving to another country and hoping this problem will go away on its own is quite naive. You need to change your mindset and the pattern of behavior - and only then will the cycle break.

If you don't change fast, you'll find yourself alone with 3 kids to raise and then you'll be financially and physically too exhausted to even think about sex.

"I have been diagnosed with adhd, and depression with anxiety"

Then, you MUST have a psychologist or psychiatrist or Dr. who diagnosed this.

Were you ever on medication to treat these illnesses/conditions? Have you told your Dr. that the emotional affair has now become a physical affair? (escalating?)

Addiction is continuing to use in spite of the known consequences. You sound like you have an attention addiction, manifesting itself into a sexual addiction. (I mean seeking validation and excitement from male attention)

What makes you think that you will be able to control these impulses any better overseas, maybe on a military base where there's hundreds of guys?

This is all making you feel bad - plus you are hurting the one who loves you and you shared vows with.

Will you do something about this soon?

Why would she seek intimacy with another man if she has that with her husband?

Hmm... this place really keeps me wondering.

There is a young army woman (if she is real), faithful, intelligent, friendly and good hearted and people keep bashing her for "not realizing what is going on in her life".

Now here is a 24 y.o., 3 kids, husband with vasectomy, cheating unfaithful wh... and people are analyzing her inner desires and giving life recommendations as if she was about to move abroad for work.

This place is full of weird, odd attitude people. I think I will bookmark this thread for the sake of future. If some smartass starts judging me again, this will be great example of how much I value "moral attitude" of locals...



PS: OP - I hope your "loved" husband will sue the sh*t outta you and you spend the rest of your life working in McDonald, not having time nor opportunity to poison anyone's life again. You disgust me.

wait, if your husband is on vasectomy and you use no protection, is there a chance that some of your kids are not his? Are you even real? Probably not. No one can be this stupid.

Three possible responses:

1. How do you know she has that with her husband?
2. Because she is human.
3. You too are confused about the difference between intimacy and sex.

If we follow your logic, your anger with your wife who has cheated on you is unjustified because you failed to accept the fact that she wanted intimacy with you, and sex from another.

By asking this question, you are implying that marrying a man who you are not intimate with is a good idea. Why would you marry someone you're not intimate with?