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Tue 22 Mar, 2016 09:08 am
Hi all,
Thanks for reading. I am new here and landing with hope that I will get answers for the endless questions. I'm writing this with utmost confusion and deep routed pain. Someone please help me:
Here is the long story summarized;
I met this guy eight months ago in a business scanario. Since then I found a deep connection. We have so much in common. I met him through another male friend. I have found him looking at me secretly and have awkward eye connection. But he has mentioned two times that he had a girlfriend. But both times, he seemed to look at my face for my reaction. I am like all the tine thinking about him and fantasising. Two months ago, the other friend who introduced him seemed to tell hints such as me and my crush are having something between us. Whenever this other friend comes to meet me he (my crush) also will come to meet me. But will speak formally. He has recently stated helping me in business too. But this guy plays so cold. He never calls me but will come to see me when other friend visits me. When he mentioned he has gf, he looked at my face for reaction. But he doesn't reply my texts. He is super confusing. I have stated to feel his energy. Seems I am going through a hell. I cannot ask him in direct as it may damage things. I don't know why it feels so bad. Now I'm in a situation that I can't move on. I don't want to force him and would like here what he feels really. It's confusing and so painful. Please advice me. Thank you so much.
@Erandi,
Unrequited love? Deep pain?
You hardly know him.
@Erandi,
The next thing I would do is pick out my china pattern.
Showing him this will go a long way with persuading him to your side.
I don't think you can go wrong with a nice Wedgewood or even a Lenox. Although the latter is rather cliche.
@Erandi,
Quote: I am like all the tine thinking about him and fantasising.
You need to find something else to occupy your mind. I mean, really, how are you even able to function in normal society if thoughts of him are all you are thinking about all the time.
@Erandi,
1. he has a girlfriend
2. he has a girlfriend
3. he has a girlfriend
__
move on. grow up and move on.
___
There is nothing confusing about this. He has a girlfriend (not you). You have a minor business relationship with him. Move on.
'I cannot ask him in direct as it may damage things"
Ask him WHAT? He has told you he has a GF.
So he is either flirting with you - which he should not be doing, or he is lying about her. He seems to be a tease, and you are the victim. The looks he gives you mean nothing. He teases!!
What is it that you want to ask him?
It's easy to make fun of a relationship that consists of little more than glances, but they happen and can affect you deeply. It's possible he is just shy.
But not answering a text msg is puzzling unless you said something very inappropriate. If i'm not being too nosey, what did you say?
@Leadfoot,
Guess you missed the part where he has a girlfriend, and these glances are pretty much occuring in her mind.
Thank you everyone for the replies. Although he told me that he had gf, I thought that he is just lying to test me. However as most of you suggest that he teases me it's is inappropriate. It seemed that he was acting as he is hard to get. However I have made a decision to move on. Now it seems bit clear. I can move on and see whT happens next. Thanks u so much for all your views
.
@PUNKEY,
Hi, I thought of asking him what he really means. Is it true that he has a gf or just lying to see my reaction? I wanted to ask him what he really feels.
@ehBeth,
Thank you. This seems to be the correct decision but tough and painful.
@chai2,
Thank you. What do u really mean by the china way?
@Leadfoot,
Thank you. He doesn't text back but he comes to see me whenever possible:). At that time he stares.
@chai2,
Quote:Guess you missed the part where he has a girlfriend, and these glances are pretty much occuring in her mind.
Oh yes, once one has a GF or BF, the course of your life is set, the possibility of a significant relationship with anyone else is silly to even contemplate. How could I have missed that...
Imaginary glances? I missed that too. Must work on my perception...
@Leadfoot,
Leadfoot wrote:
Quote:Guess you missed the part where he has a girlfriend, and these glances are pretty much occuring in her mind.
Oh yes, once one has a GF or BF, the course of your life is set, the possibility of a significant relationship with anyone else is silly to even contemplate. How could I have missed that...
Imaginary glances? I missed that too. Must work on my perception...
One does not **** where they eat leadfoot.
If someone has a GF or BF, you wait until that person has decently ended that relationship before taking up with them.
@Erandi,
Erandi wrote:When he mentioned he has gf, he looked at my face for reaction.
you don't know he's looking for a reaction. he may just be like a normal human and looking at the people/person he is speaking to.
I think you're trying to read interest into someone who is not interested.
None of the things you've described suggest interest in you - beyond that of a business colleague.
@chai2,
Quote:One does not **** where they eat leadfoot.
How quaint.
Quote:If someone has a GF or BF, you wait until that person has decently ended that relationship before taking up with them.
We're talking exchanging glances and gauging interest here, not hooking up.
But again, how quaint.
@Leadfoot,
Don't **** where you eat is a very old saying, and a wise one.
@ossobuco,
I know the saying, and have always thought it was stupid as a universal rule.
Really good matches for a partner are a rare commodity and anyone who gave one up due to that saying has their head up where they ****.
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