The "Dry Hump"

Appropriate yet disturbing.

I agree. I doubt the artists ever intended that to be interpreted that way, but it certainly fits this thread.

Call us old-fashioned, but me and my gal still love to give each other a little "dry-oral" every now and then.

There's nothing like going to sleep with a massive hard-on and the taste of zipper in your mouth.

Love: it's a crazy crazy thing.

Isn't that more because it's pretty impossible to "wet" hump that blow up doll you have? And the fact you make it wear pants....

Okay, let me clarify a few things here, Slappy.

I refuse to treat Rachel--whom you have reduced to simply "that blow up doll"--like an object, even though, technically, she is one. So I expect the same from my fellow right-thinking individuals here on A2K.

And, actually, it will be possible for us to make wet-love (when we are both ready), thanks to a few modifications; specifically, the lubrication system I constructed and installed, which involves what I call a "lotion-chamber," and a network of ducts...well, it's all very complicated.

Finally, she wears pants because she respects herself, and I respect her, too. When the time is right, and we have reached that point in our relationship, then yeah, I'm totally going to wet-hump the christ out of her.

She has to wear clotes because Gargamel likes to take her out in public. Sometimes she still embarasses him, however, such as this time, at the post-Superbowl party.

That's not fair. Hassan, my best friend UNTIL that night--we don't talk anymore--kept buying her shots.

Luckily, I was driving, but we had to go home early. I didn't even get to fire my M16 into the air after the Patriots last minute victory, as is customary in my circle of friends.

Heavens! Seems we miffed a closet full of latent homos!
Not known for an abundance of senses of humor.
Resume your dry humping boys.

Er, am I supposed to be in the closet too? Looks a little crowded in there...

OK Fortune! Out of tha closet. Mmm! Nice girl-person!

Personally, I find Chuckster hilarious, but mostly for not sticking to the political threads.

"Chuckster."

Wow, did the "dudes" at the office give you such a cool nickname? Do they call you, "The Chuckster?"

You must be a real wildman, using your breaks to project your self-hatred on the internet, rather than drool at all the other "awesome dudes" and their bulges by the vending machines.

So I was dry-humping this Al-Qaeda chick, whose burkha had a particularily nubby tweel on the knit...I never saw her face, but I came close.

That nubby tweel was a wardrobe malfunction, Cav.

Well, it said "Made in Afghanistan" on the label, what do you expect?

For those of you who don't remember: The summer of '94 I spotted an attractive-looking gerbil when I was in the park feeding the ducks.

The gerbil was on the beach, on a small gerbil blanket, presumably sunbathing. I approached her and cleared my throat, preparing to ask her for a night of anal frivolity.

That's when Richard Gere appeared.

"I saw her first" Gere exclaimed in a menacing tone.

We circled each other warily, rolling up our shirtsleeves as we did so. When the dust settled I was unconscious on the ground.

Whe I regained consciousness, I looked up to see the gerbil getting into Richard's fancy red sportscar. They sped off into the distance.

Richard got all the headlines because of that gerbil.

And the world forgot about Gus.

Just another small traged in my life.

I heard that slightly differently...

sssh

I'm the soul of discretion.

Hmmm, yeah I have to say I heard that gerbil wasn't that good looking, and was found out to be a guy anyway, so Gus I suppose it's good that here you are today, not nearly as famous but still hetro. *thumbs up* Fame or gayness? YOU decide. Some people choose both! But meh... they can afford it with all that *bling bling*