What have I gotten myself into?

@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

Kyleah wrote:

Well sorry that only took place once and we had no place to go. Fine it's ridiculous. Can you be nice?

You're the home wrecker and I'm the one that's supposed to be nice?

Why don't you be nice and get out of this jerks family business?

Ok, I'll bite. What have you gotten yourself into?

You've gotten youself into the position of the other woman, having sex with another man's wife. He's stringing you along because he's getting the best of both worlds

The only person my heart goes out to is that sleaze bags wife.

And the children - she said they both have kids. Sad.

Question -- what would you say or feel if you found out your daughter was in the woods having sex? Her response - stuff happens.

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@CoastalRat,

I hear you on this clearly. He told me his parents divorced and that is was in early hs and a mess and affected him. Well hello? I'm sure it would affect you if you were in college too.

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@chai2,

I guess that's what you would see in this. I'm not saying it's right.

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@Linkat,

That's hardly fair. My kids are principles list and stand out in many other areas in school and life. They are smart and great. All 3 have said leave daddy.. He treats you like ****. They see it. It's been a nightmare. So when I say hey stuff happens.. It does that's true. Did I know my h would turn into an angry beast? No. I'm not responsible for his behavior he is. I'm only responsible for mine. No not that mine is good at the moment. Not good at all.

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@Linkat,

Not grown. Lady I'm more grown up then most. Give me a break. I'm human.

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@Kyleah,

Kyleah wrote:

That's hardly fair. My kids are principles list and stand out in many other areas in school and life. They are smart and great. All 3 have said leave daddy.. He treats you like ****. They see it. It's been a nightmare. So when I say hey stuff happens.. It does that's true. Did I know my h would turn into an angry beast? No. I'm not responsible for his behavior he is. I'm only responsible for mine. No not that mine is good at the moment. Not good at all.

I am glad your kids are doing well I am explaining how poor an example you are being, more than likely their use of swear words when describing their dad is probably a result of poor adult behavior.

Saying you made a mistake rather than stuff happens would show that you realize your choices were not the best .., shrugging and saying stuff happens shows little accountability on your part. You are not responsible for your husband's behavior, but you are responsible for how you handle it. Everyone makes mistakes and having an affair although understandable in your circumstance is probably not the best decision, but how you take accountability for your actions shows much more.

Don't say stuff happens..face it you are human and made a mistake...take ownership and do what is right for you and your children. It isn't just you ...this impacts the kids.

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@Kyleah,

You were not acting grown up. I agree we are all human...but since you are responsible for children you need to consider how your actions could impact your children. Can't change your husband, but having a mom that is responsible will go a long way.

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@Linkat,

And the swear word is the affect of my husbands verbal abuse. Of course I made a mistake and I should have said that instead of stuff happens. I'm very responsible and have always been a wonderful mother , always. I've been robbed of who I am at the hands of s controlling abusive man and all I did for years was try to see if their was some glimmer of hope for him to see how his impact affects others and try to correct it, but no! Won't own up to it and it's his problem for sure. I feel bad enough I've stayed for this long and exposed myself and children to this. Now it's time for me after plenty of support for friends and family to get out. Unfortunately my downside of having a loving heart allowed me to fall for this other man because he's been providing a sense of love to a degree, and being without love for this long had suffocated me terribly. I'm so sorry I've thought of myself in this when's kids are first. I am going to try to end it.

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@Linkat,

Agree.

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@Linkat,

Agree.

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@Kyleah,

Quote:

I'm sure it would affect you if you were in college too.

I never said it would not affect the kids. Of course there will be some effect. But a kid in college is an adult and will get by just fine. (I was guessing he had a kid in high school he wished to wait for, not one in college. If the kid he is wanting to graduate first is in college, then you are a fool if you think he is being honest about putting off divorce until college graduation.)

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@Kyleah,

I do hope this works well for you and I do applaude you for taking this seriously and taking care of your children. I only wish you and the kids the best. I give you great credit for pulling yourself together - now use those family and friends to help you.

Are there any other sources/organizations around that could help? Help you break from your husband so you can start new?

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@CoastalRat,

His kid is a junior this year in hs. So he said he had 2 years to ride it out with her then would have to break free. I'm not sure I buy that. I appreciate you're advice.

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@Linkat,

You are kind and bright and I appreciate you're words. Keep them coming. This will take time to get out of. The marriage and the A. My counselor helps so much. Think God for him.

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@Kyleah,

I'd suggest printing out your first post in this thread and giving it to your counsellor to read.

I'm also curious what you think of that first post a few days after writing it.

___

Why will it take time to end the fuckbuddy relationship? Block him on social media and move on. It's not that difficult.

Really.

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@ehBeth,

I hope (my take) that she wrote some of this as a result of frustration and to be heard. Sometimes I think people just need to get everything out there. And sometimes it doesn't come out sounding nice.

I am hopeful (maybe the optimist in me) that she will take some of this advice and work on her situation -- get everything cleared up as needed before getting involved with any man much less a married man.

She seems to be listening and taking things in - which is a positive thing.

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@ehBeth,

What do I think? Like the title to the post what did I get myself into. That's what I think. I created yet another issue on top of the issues I currently have. He's not on social media, his wife controls him. He's not allowed to even have access to the App Store on iTunes. All I have is his email which he claims he can't get on phone but on his pc. Think I've been feed some bs.

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@Linkat,

Yes. The root to problem solving is getting it out. Thanks for seeing that!

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@Kyleah,

Ok, so I was correct that it was hs. Either way, I think this is an excuse on his part. If his marriage is bad enough that he wants out, a 16 year old child is not a reason to wait.

Anyway, good luck to you in getting out of your situation if it is as bad as you say. Getting out is the first step. Then find someone who is not attached, rather than someone who only plans to be unattached. lol Again, good luck to you.

1 Reply

@CoastalRat,

Yup

1 Reply

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