What have I gotten myself into?

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So, my affair started in early July. I was approached by a guy I always thought was more than adorable and clicked well with. He took my phone from me and plugged in his number. I thought that was so direct and loved it. Problem is, shortly after that we figured out it was not safe to text. So email only once in a while and delete anything written. We've meet 4 times and it's getting a little nutty doing things in his car while ditching mine and having sex in the woods. We need a place to go. Kids go back to school in a few weeks, my h away a lot and his wife works out of town all day so some freedom from fear I guess. But as exciting as this is and a good as it feels, I'm a nervous wreck and I think of him like all the time. I can't stop playing a song by Miley Cyrus called adore you.. It describes how I feel so much. Can't and won't throw out the L word because I don't want to scare him away. What to do. Advice please. Being the other woman in not easy. 😩

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 3,557 • Replies: 68

I feel sorry for you.

Doing it in the woods? Geez . . . how old are you? Ever heard of hotels?

Please stop thinking with your clitoris and see this for what it is!

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

Yes I've heard of hotels. We need to find one that we won't be seen at. What do you mean see it for what it is. Both of us openly from day one were honest about leaving the marriages and within the next year or so. For now, this is the way it has to be. Never imagined myself in something like this but hey stuff happens.

1 Reply

@Kyleah,

Sort out the end of your marriage first.

Tell your husband the marriage is ending as soon as possible.

Make arrangements for where you will be living once you leave the marital home. Then you can **** whenever you want.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I have to be careful with this because of the emotional abuse I've endured. Have people helping me with an exit plan. It's rather complicated.

2 Replies

@Kyleah,

You have to tell your husband you're leaving. He needs to make arrangements for his children once you're gone.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I've already told him I wish to divorce. He fighting me on this. Arrangements for the kids need to be sorted out legally. In not sure a judge would grant custody to a man who needs mental help for extreme anger issues.

1 Reply

@Kyleah,

Emotional abuse, real anger issues, have to be careful.

Do you realise that you are therefore, putting this man in extreme danger as well? Have you thought about that?

Also, does your husband abuse you and the children? Based on what you have stated it does suggest that they would hear and see things, isn't that worth getting them out of and putting them first?

I understand you feel that you've been emotionally abused for some time and need someone to be there for you to forget about it and feel that equates to "love", but blood is thicker than water and I can't help but feel that your priorities are in the wrong place at present.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Yes I realize that he's fully aware. Think it's best to end it with him and stay friends if possible. It's been a long lonely road emotionally and I can see exactly why I got into this is the first place. I see a counselor weekly and it's time to tell him about this.

0 Replies

@Kyleah,

Quote:

Being the other woman in not easy. 😩

So stop being the other woman. End your marriage if that is what you want. THEN, wait for him to end his. Then you two can be together all you want.

Of course, I'll not be surprised if he keeps finding reasons not to end his marriage. After all, he is having his cake and eating it too right now.

2 Replies

@CoastalRat,

CoastalRat wrote:

Of course, I'll not be surprised if he keeps finding reasons not to end his marriage. After all, he is having his cake and eating it too right now.

Yeah, out in the woods no less.

1 Reply

@CoastalRat,

I'm in the process of trying to end the marriage and I'm thinking this affair I got into is not serving me any good anyway. According to him he has been up front in saying he's been married to his wife since hs. One kid graduates year after next. They talked about parting ways after that. Sounds honest, yet it could be a line of bs. I know she's vey controlling much like what I'm going through so in that way we can relate. Would be better if at all possible to keep each other as friends. I am not in love with him. I don't wish it to get that far.

2 Replies

@Kyleah,

Get the end of the marriage sorted. Figure out where you will leave and how you will support yourself.

Once you've been on your own for a while you can more easily start a new relationship. Perhaps by that time your fuckbuddy will have left his marriage and also be prepared for a new relationship.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

F buddy? Thanks. Did not expect things to turn out this way. But I agree about leaving. I don't think he's the right person for me anyway. Going on a strong hunch.

0 Replies

@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

CoastalRat wrote:

Of course, I'll not be surprised if he keeps finding reasons not to end his marriage. After all, he is having his cake and eating it too right now.

Yeah, out in the woods no less.

huh.

Don't know why anyone would thumb me down for that. I'm simply repeating exactly what the OP readily admits. That's she's a grown woman having sex with a married man out in the woods.

2 Replies

@chai2,

Well sorry that only took place once and we had no place to go. Fine it's ridiculous. Can you be nice?

1 Reply

@Kyleah,

Quote:

One kid graduates year after next. They talked about parting ways after that.

And this is why I think he is feeding you a bunch of nonsense. Why wait on this one kid to graduate? Does he really think he will traumatize the 17 year old kid by ending a marriage that is not working? Trust me, the kid knows the score. He (she) would be just fine.

Come next year, after the kid graduates, he will have another excuse.

1 Reply

@Kyleah,

Kyleah wrote:

Well sorry that only took place once and we had no place to go. Fine it's ridiculous. Can you be nice?

You're the home wrecker and I'm the one that's supposed to be nice?

Why don't you be nice and get out of this jerks family business?

Ok, I'll bite. What have you gotten yourself into?

You've gotten youself into the position of the other woman, having sex with another man's wife. He's stringing you along because he's getting the best of both worlds

The only person my heart goes out to is that sleaze bags wife.

2 Replies

Quote:

but hey stuff happens

I think this did it in for me. Not willing to help someone who gives such an attitude. You have kids? Hey stuff happens - explain that to your children. And from there on the kids have an excuse for anything now that they get into trouble with. So if they kids say hey stuff happens when they do something really bad, what will your answer be? Now apply that to yourself.

1 Reply

@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

chai2 wrote:

CoastalRat wrote:

Of course, I'll not be surprised if he keeps finding reasons not to end his marriage. After all, he is having his cake and eating it too right now.

Yeah, out in the woods no less.

huh.

Don't know why anyone would thumb me down for that. I'm simply repeating exactly what the OP readily admits. That's she's a grown woman having sex with a married man out in the woods.

Grown? She doesn't sound grown mentally or emotionally from what I can read here.

1 Reply

What have I gotten myself into?

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