A girl I really like uses the "I want to be friends excuse" but likes someone else :(

I totally get that. I've got a great male friend who I've known for mmmm 39 years now. We spent the first 6 years being off-synch relationship-wise and then finally realized that we're friends, not potential romantic partners. We've been friends through all three of his marriages and several long-term relationships for both of us.

It's just that I really wanted a relationship with her.

That's called life, accept that you can't have a relationship with her. Move on. Don't mooch around like a wounded puppy.

I know it stings, but it could have gone another way. You just as easily could have left with less than magic feelings and she wanted more. Respect her wishes right now, chemistry is hard to define, but you could click or not click. You can't rationalize emotions. I'm sorry you're disappointed, but don't try to make something happen that's just not going to happen. It will be more painful if you try to force the issue.

so if I understand well, you don't study right?

were well then. I think I can't really advise you because you are the type of person I don't understand well.

Nevertheless good luck!

Its kind of hard being friends with her still on Facebook when shes posting all these pretty pics of herself.

hmm... after all I feel a bit for nagging so here is some of my tought:

Are you virgin or have you had sex before? And if yes, how long ago it was?
Very often men mistake hornyness for deeper feeling. The situation is simple: you project one woman as a solution of you deep primordial needs and consider this for some sort of emotional attachment or even love. It is very difficult to differ love from just being needy when you are actually needy, but try to sum up what you really like about her and how many other women have these qualities as well. Maybe you are just idolizing someone?

Second, how many other girls are around you? It is very natural not to feel attracted to someone. Sometimes you might want to fight the odds is your feelings are true (paragraph above) but most often it's much easier and less painful simply to move to someone else. If there is no one around, then find some! Women are plentiful (like half of population I think...)

Third, there's saying among bros: "aint no b#tch is worth more then bro" translated "Friend is always more valuable then date". If she does not feel attracted to you but still is hapy to be your friend, I would say this is more then satisfying. Maybe you won't share intimate time together, but she'll teach you everything about type of women you like and next time you'll meet someone like her, you'll be much more prepared.

I think you situation is good. Make the best of it!

V.

PS: I'm drunk.

I'm a virgin I really never had a girlfriend before and it sucks

Its not healthy for you to view girls who want to be friends as a missed opportunity for sex. She may have many other friends who might find you very charming. Here's a clue, don't complain about your virginity to others, I don't think girls are anxious to provide pity boinking.

Am I the only one who found the use of this word significant? She doesn't need an excuse. Nobody owes anybody anything after a first date. She's not short-changing or cheating you by not wanting a romantic relationship with you. It's up to you to be the kind of person that she would want that kind of relationship with.

You're right FBM, there is no contractual obligation for future relationship just by agreeing to spend time with another. If that were the case, just saying hello to someone becomes an obligation instead of a friendly address.

the use of excuse bugs the crap out of me

<edits out extremo-rant>

the problem is not that you are virgin. The problem is that you think it sucks. There is nothing to be unsure about first time sex. It's perfectly natural and intuitive. You need to work on your insecurity first.

Get some balls and put your **** together. Use whatever tools available. If you feel unsure about virginity... there are commercial ways how to solve it.

Insecurity? I'd think it would be better to work on his arrogant assumptions first.

Yeah, I had to edit myself, too. I'm a hard-leg, so I'm on the other side of the table, but that doesn't mean that I'm oblivious to the mechanics of the situation. There's plenty of times that I've had one-off dates and didn't feel a strong enough spark to follow up with anything more intimate. Not that I didn't like her; I just didn't like her in the sort of way that I wanted to be her committed other. Should I feel guilty for that? Hell, no. Should a female feel guilty for being in the same position? Hell, no. What's good for the goose...

Thanks for bringing this up - I thought it, too, but couldn't really articulate it.

Could you please elaborate a bit? I am not sure if I understand...

Happy hamster pleads...

It doesn't seem like a difficult concept. You have a date with someone. You think that person is an OK person, but you don't feel so strongly attracted to him/her that you want to commit to a long-term, romantic relationship. You found a friend, not a boy/girlfriend.

I'm saving losing my vigrinity for the girl I'm planning to start a family with. The thing I'm concerned about is finding that girl.

ou... I guess I have too little experience for this. Usually I separate gals to 3 categoruies

1) Like her and makes me hard - girlfriend material
2) makes me hard but not really fond of her personality (probably dumb or shallow, but still feel ok with her) - lover
3) like her but does not make me hard - friend.

According to what you said, I would see such girl either as friend or lover. According to attractiveness and intelligence/personality.