Child Custody

it isn't that the preschool is competitive or anything, I just want him to be ahead, because he will learn to write his name, and his abcs, and be that much more prepared in kindergarten. this every other week thing is killing me, and Zack really misses me, how can anyone say this is good for a child. Joe has been trying to get me to change my mind about things. But I honestly think Zack is beeter off being with me full time. His health will be so much better, he's such a different boy now, with a little stability in his life. he listens, he does things he's supposed to, and doesn't do things he isn't supposed to. I really think he's better off. His father isn't the one watching him or raising him, it's his mother. And I don't want that to happen. Because he will turn out like all her other kids. Jerks.

Well, my custody battle ended on the 15th of November. I got Physical Custody of my son, and primary residency. His father is still trying to tell me that I have to put him in the school of his choice, but even the lawyer said it's my choice, and wherever I am living is where he goes to school. The only not so positive thing is I have to move back to where I was living with my mother before, and I can't be living with my boyfriend in his county. Although I can live anywhere in the county I am moving back to, and it's pretty big, so I intend to live as close to my boyfriend as possible til we can get a house together..
Just thought I would update you. :-)

Sounds like things will be good for Zach.

Yes I think they will be. His father will be getting him every other weekend, and on tuesday nights overnight, and then there's an extensive holiday schedule made out.

I hope it turns out that Zack's dad really wants to have that time with him, and that your little boy will be lucky enough to have lots of people who really love him wherever he is.

Holiday schedules are tricky, whether or not parents are together. You're lucky in a way - having a negotiator to help sort this sort of thing out. Better to have someone else to blame other than the other parent when things are complicated.

LOL that's for sure. I really am hoping his father wants to spend the time he will have with him too. It took him 4 years to become interested in his son, so we will see. I really hope he does come around though, because his son loves him dearly.

zacksmom--

Sounds good. No kid has ever come to harm from having too many people loving him.

We're here if you need us.

I'm so happy for you. I had a feeling things would tirn out the way they did, but it's nice to hear that you can finally breath easy and get on with your life without all the termoil.

(((HUGS)))

Thanks. Yes, it's still going to be a little rough, because Joe is still very mad that things didn't go his way, and I won't give in on the school issue, and that he has to pay child support.
But I am sure in awhile, it will all be settled, and I can really get on with my life.

well here's an update for anyone reading. :-) My ex took me back to court in Feb, because he said I violated the court order of not moving back when I was supposed to, and also for not making arrangements for him to pick up Zack. We go back to court in May for the trial on those. It's just so ridiculous. Then he dropped Zack off yesterday, and he said he has bruises on his shoulders from running into a wall. I asked Zack what happened, he said his aunt's friend pushed him. I called a child abuse hotline, because something seems not right, and they wouldn't do anything. They said with the info I gave them, there wasn't anything to do a report about, and since the girl who pushed him is a minor they can't do a report, plus since Zack said it was an accident, they can't do anything. I am not sure if anything is going on or not, but this isn't t he first time he's had bruises or scratches on him. It was so easy for him to call SS on me when Zack had a bruise on his face from falling off the couch, but when I try to do it, no one will do anything. Then they wonder why people take the law into their own hands, and do drastic things. It really upsets me.....

Hang in there Zacksmom. I know it's rough right now, but the day will come when this nonsense will all be behind you.

(((Hugs)))

Thanks Montana.. I hope it will end soon. I am not doing anything to him, or to my bf's ex, and they just keep trying to make my life miserable. I wish they would just grow up, and get themselves lives, so they will stop trying to ruin mine.
Hey, does anyone know how to go about getting personal things back from someone who refuses to give them to you? I have a lot of my stuff still at my ex's, because he won't give it back to me. I am not sure how to go about getting it all back. I have asked several times, and my lawyer said nothing can really be done in family court. I just want my stuff back. Should I go to the police, and have them escort me to their house? or is there some other way I can do it? Thanks.......
My bf is going through the same situation I am pretty much. Only because he's the guy in the deal, he's getting screwed. He's so obviously the better parent, his ex is so messed up. But he's the one getting screwed.. he would die for his kids. It's such a messed up world we live in!

I know what you're going through and my heart truly goes out to you. (((Hugs)))

As far as getting your stuff back, I'd start by calling the cops to see if they will help and if they can't do anything about it, you can take him to small claims court if the value of the stuff is under 5,000. Small claims is handled in criminal court.

Good luck Zacksmom. You're always in my thoughts.

Thanks Montana, you are in my thoughts too. I will definitely see if the cops will help me. my step brother works for the sheriff's dept, maybe he will help me out. If they can't, I will take him to small claims court, the stuff is less than 5,000$. Thanks again. I will keep you updated.

Well, here's a little update. My son was sick when he went to his father's. He had a cold. Well, I guess his father took him to the dr's on Monday, and he has strep throat and bronchitis. Do you think I got a phone call to tell me MY SON was sick? No, you want to know who he told. My current boyfriend's ex wife. They are in constant contact and have been since last summer. They are both constantly trying to ruin mine and Jason's lives. So anyway, she told Jason when we went to pick up his kids that Zack had strep and bronchitis. I was like, nice, he calls her, it's none of her business, and he can't tell me about my own child. This isn't the first time he's been sick, and Joe hasn't told me. I will be bringing it up in court too. This is ridiculous.

zacksmom--

Be sure that you notify your ex when your son is ill. He can also use parental non-communication as a weapon.

Life isn't easy, is it?

He's never been sick when I have him. He's always getting sick when he's over there. He had a simple cold when he left here on saturday. But yes I know what you are saying. He said before in court I don't communicate with him. That has changed, I have been communicating with him, he's been the one who isn't telling me things, until he drops him off.

Well, I go back to court this wednesday. I am scared, because I don't know if my lawyer is going to show up or not. I can't get ahold of him. Also, Joe hasn't been paying me support now for 3 weeks. His unemployment ran out, and I haven't gotten a check in 3 weeks now. The last one I did get was short 10.62$. This is just nuts, I called the support collections twice, and they said there's nothing they can do right now, because he didn't call to say he was employed, or anything. I thought he could be penalized because he is supposed to pay whether he's got a job or not. It's stupid he's getting away with it....
I am just tired of all of the nonsense....

I know what you're feeling Zacksmom and I feel your frustration, but hang in there and the courts will eventually make him pay or he will go to jail. This could go on for quite some time if your ex stalls the courts, so be prepared for that. I haven't seen any support since Sept of last year and the last time my ex was in court in Sept, he was warned that he will be held in contempt if he doesn't start to pay and is looking at a sentence in the house of corrections.
He is due back in court on June 6th and he better get his act together because the courts are fed up with him.
He has been stalling the courts in every which way for all this time and they've had enough. He tried getting a disability, committing suicide, etc, but nothing is working. I'm confident that this will be settled soon, but the courts certainly don't work fast.

Best of luck to you on Wed and hopefully the courts in NY will work faster that my court in Mass!

((((Hugs))))

Thanks Montana. I am hoping that things work out as well. Sometimes they seem to be fast, and then other times, it all gets dragged out. Like this, we should have gone to court a long time ago. He filed in Dec, we went in Feb, and now the trial is in May. It's stupid.
I just hope they see he's just trying to hurt me, and not looking for the best interest in Zack.
I will let you know what happens....