Thanks! Yes I was so happy to see him come up the stairs. he had rang the doorbell first so I ran to the door and he was coming up the hallway stairs. i was so happy to see him.
I will not let him out of my sight either.
That's awesome Zacksmom. I am so glad he's back home with you. My heart was bleeding for you and Zack and I'm sure the others feel the same way. Hold on tight.
When you get dad into court, make sure you explain everything to them and make them aware that dad is coaching Zack constantly to lie to you. My ex did that a bit with my son and it puts a child in a terrible position to betray one of his parents. If he doesn't lie to you, he is betraying his father and if he does, he's betraying you, so it puts your son in a no win situation. This guy sounds like he's just as much the heartless jerk my ex is and Zack is better off without a father than with one that's going to hurt him in spite of you or anyone else for that matter. I can't for the life of me figure out how anyone can be selfish enough to hurt innocent little kids.
I denied my ex visitation only once for a short time when I found out he was drinking and driving with him. He had to take me to court for visitation and I agreed to allow the visitation to start again on the condition that it never happened again, but I always regreted that I agreed to that. If you read my story, you understand why. My son would have been so much better off without his father in his life. Now that my son is 17, he sees right through his father and has pretty much wiped his hands of him at this point. If I had known back then that he was going to cause our son a speck of the grief that he has, I would have cut off the visitation when I had the chance. If you do decide to allow visitation, you can request that the visitation be supervised. In my opinion, any man who can keep a child away from his mother with no valid reason needs to be supervised when he's with that child. Situations like the ones Zack's father put him in are very tramatic for a child.
Big hugs to you and Zack :-D
He got himself a lawyer this past monday, and I got a letter today. they are trying to either postpone the court time to later that day, or getting another day.... so since tomorrow is already friday, can they do that? I guess I have to call family court again tomorrow, to see if it' going to be postponed or whatever. This just gets better and better. NOT........
They have to let you know if it's going to be postponed and I'm not sure if they can do it at this late a date.
yes I am going to see if I have to give him the visitation if I do I want it to be supervised, most definitely.
I can't stand this and I don't understand why he would put Zack through such crap, to try to hurt me. Because I am an adult, I put up with his bull for all this time, but he is a baby, and does not deserve to be treated like this, just because he can't pick his parents. I wish he were a deadbeat father, and just would leave me alone.
oh that's good then. I hope it can't be. That would be great.
My ex was a deadbeat, but he still did everything in his power to make our lives a living hell.
Zacksmom--
Joe may be the original SOB, but he's entitled to legal representation at the hearing. If his lawyer has a prior committment for the time your hearing is scheduled (quite possible if he was only retained on Monday), the hearing can be postponed.
With luck the last minute arrangements for legal representation will speak to Joe's feckless character.
Remember, you have the advantage of established custody. Further, the "tender years" doctrine says that small children (certainly pre-school) are better off with their mothers. Finally, Joe has not shown himself to be a responsible parent.
The mills of the gods grind slow, but the grind exceeding fine.
I know he does deserve to have representation. I was venting. It just doesn't seem fair. But if it does get postponed, I am going right away to file for temp. custody, and whatever else I have to file for at the time.
Zacksmom--
Absolutely. You can play the system better than he can.
I am hoping that I can. I was telling my mother, that autorities wonder why some people kidnap their children, and take off, when no one will help them, until it's too late. Good honest people who are only looking out for their children are the ones who gets screwed, and the jerks win a lot of the time. It isn't fair.
It isn't fair. My other always told me life isn't fair, but I didn't believe her and hard to learn the hard way! Jerks do win a lot.
Get a lawyer!
You ought to seriously consider getting a lawyer if you haven't already done so. If he is represented by a lawyer--you have to be way more prepared than you ever imagined!
Keeping my fingers crossed for you! I wish you good luck--but don't rely on luck. If you don't already have a lawyer, get one!!!!!
bookmark
AGAIN, if this matter is continued and your hearing is not going to take place on Monday as scheduled--try your best to secure an attorney.
I agree with Debra completely. You have to look like someone that wants best for her child (and I hope it's the case) and not someone that wants to defeat child's father.
Be calm. If his father never payed support for child note that calmly.
With all due respect, and I am NOT saying that it's something I can't understand (if everything you say is true) in many of your posts there is too much about child's father. It's not going to look good in court - it's going to look like you two are just solving your problems using your child. It doesn't matter if you are right. It will look that way.
Is there enough time to write this objection?
I wouldn't tell the judge that I didn't want his father to se him, because of course I can't prove that he's hurt him, or anything.
I do want what's best for my child. I have always wanted that. Right now, his father is not doing what's best for him, and neither is his family.
How is there too much about the father in my posts? What exactly do you mean?
And deb, I am trying to get a lawyer as fast as I can. No, I don't think there is anything saying he's filing for custody as well.
Thank you for all the advice.
I have a lawyer. I called family court this morning, and I have to call back this afternoon, the judge hasn't had a chance to look at the paperwork. SO I should know by this afternoon if it's postponed or what's going on.
Good luck, zacks mom!
(I was going to suggest last night that you PM Deb Law and ask her advice about the postponement, but I figured that was not my place! So glad Deb came back to the post!)
Me too I had been waiting all day to h ear from her. Glad she gave me somve excellent advice here. I would be lost right now without knowing what she's told me here. :-D
And thank you for the luck, all of you!
I'm very glad that you got yourself a lawyer. Debra is right and I think I jumped the gun a bit telling you to ask that he not see his father. I was thinking of my case when my ex admitted in court that he was drinking and driving with our son, which gave me the ability to make that choice and that's not your case at all. A lawyer will surely take a load off of you since custody cases are very complicated. The others are also right in saying that you need to be quite prepared and careful of what you say. Since you now have a lawyer, he or she will speak for you and know what not to say. You do want to push for child support, which is only reasonable.
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you and Zack.
