my 2 1/2yr old wont come with me..

We know you want quality time. You don't seem to listen about the child's age being relevant to the issue, nor to see child development information or other single non custody parents to meet with.

You ignored my and hawkeyes comments. I said you are talking about almost torturing the child, at the least a kind of taunting, or a kind of cruelty, as a way to fix things. Strange way to fix things. Taunting a two year old with door closing and leaving to change her natural behavior at this age is at the least dumbassed and is oddly vindictive.

Have you looked into parenting classes?

I dont need parenting classes.. im a great father to my daughter when I do get to see her.. and where are u goin with ur cruilty the cheek of you.. my child is my life.. all I was saying is she got into a habbit now of me goin into her house and she probably thinks thats the way it is from now on and she dosent need to come with me..

This is what you said:
"Hi.. im thinkin the next time I go to visit my daughter.. when she wants me to come into the house.. do u think I should say no to her im not goin in.. and then tell her im goin and get back into my car and drive off again.. would this be a good or bad thing to do???"

This is a cruel idea and is primarily about you, and yes, you could use parenting classes along with a bunch of reading about childhood development.

It was just to see would she come with me when she realised I wasnt goin in the house.. tats wat I meant.. it would be to hard for me to drive off cause then I wouldnt see her.. it wasnt indended at bein cruel...

I know that you didn't think of it as being cruel, but it is, however hard for you to drive off and teach her a lesson.

Its just hard seeing other people with their kids doin things together.. and the only 2 days I get to see my baby a week and she dosent want to come with me.. I just hope it changes sooner rather then later..

Two year olds should often not get what they want. THe fact that you seem to think that this one should tells me that mom is the real problem, that she is out to get what she wants, which does not include you coming around to interfere in her parenting. But maybe Osso is right, maybe you dont have the first damn clue about how to go about being a dad.

Takin my child kicking and screaming crying and forceing her into her carseat is being a good father in your eyes.. I think your the one who needs parenting classes..

IMO, you need to go by baby steps. Trying to force her will surely backfire. So keep going in your ex' house as you always do and play with her in there, for as long as you can, eg in her room as if you were a playdate. Next step would be to play in the backyard if there's one. Then if there's a playground nearby her house where you could bring her by foot, propose that to her. Mybe your ex can come with the both of you at first. Then one day maybe you'll be able to go some place by car with her.

You get my drift. Think fox and little prince. Your priority is to be with her in a positive, non-threatening context.

Thanks.. im doin some of them things at the minute. Its just there is notin reall close by at walking distance.. she lives in the middle of the country side.. and the roads are dNgerous around no footh paths.. so thats y she has to go in the car to go somewhere.. but I understand wat ur sayin.. cheers for that..

Alright then. It's also important to have the ex on your side, evidently. She's the only person your daughter trusts right now.

Myself and her mother get on ok.. but even when her mother is at work and I go to collect her when her granny is minding her its the same..

The way I see it, you need to win over your daughter's trust again. Kids before one yr old tend to trust anybody. By two, they've learned to be worried of strangers. You want to not be a stanger, ie be with her on her own terms and build rapport.

Behave predictably (dates / time of visit / behaviour while a t her place). Tell her stories, read her books. Play the same stupid games over and over again. Make faces. Make her laugh at your expense. Will take time but you'll get there.

Maybe the breakup was a bit traumatic to her. Maybe she resents you for leaving. Maybe she's afraid you gona take her away. I'm not trying to accuse you, just trying to understand what motivates her refusal, beyond the "terrible two", which might be part of the answer but not all.

Why is it so important to get out of her house, after all?

Because there is only so much u can do in the house.. I would like to take her different places and do different activeities with her rather then be stuck in the house.. just like we did before this started..

Like what? Something she liked to do?

I understand it can be humiliating to stay in that home.

was there a time after you separated that your daughter would leave her mother's house with you?

We split when the child was a few months old.. she always came with me no problem.. she nearly used to jump out of her mothers arms to come with me... we did e erything together.. park. Walks in the forest.. the beach.. animal farms.. up until december then she stopped wanting to come.. she will be 3 now next month..

Have you joined any local parenting groups?

a few useful sites to refer to (though I still think it is much better to join a parenting group - or to talk to your family doctor about child developmental stages)

http://www.babycenter.com/0_milestones-25-to-36-months_1496593.bc

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/toddlers2.html

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/Pages/Developmental-Milestones-3-to-4-Year-Olds.aspx

http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/early-development/devt-18-36-months.html

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And isn't it intetesting that this is the age that the child could be expected to figure out that mom does not want you coming around, and respond to this..........