Well, I do appreciate your advice. I like to listen and get other opinions then make my own decisions based on what i feel is right for me. I think listening to others helps me get to that point. So I appreciate all the posts.
So far so good. He has gone to counseling with me, even though he didn't want to he did because I asked him. We have been spending alot of time together, talking, having fun, do things outside the house, it feels great. I hope it lasts. We have also been reading this website and doing the questionnaires on it too. Which we both learned alot from, and learned alot about each other too. It's
www.marriagebuilders.com
We've both changed because of this issue, both for the better. We are now focused on each other's needs and plan to stay this way. That site is very interesting and so far it works for us.
As far as the other woman... well he still works with her but hasn't talked to her at all. Last week he took 3 days off to stay away from her for a while, because she wouldn't leave him alone. After he told her he doesn't want anything to do with her because he's sick of hurting me and wants to be with me. On his second day home she messaged him online, I was on the PC he was still asleep. I told her "you need to stop trying to talk to "my husband".... you've got your own man, be happy with what you've got or go find an unmarried man, a man who doesn't have children with his "wife".
I know it's not her fault and i don't blame her, it's all on him. I said that to her only because he was telling me that she was messaging him at work telling him that she's back with her boyfriend but still loves my man and misses him. He said to her "what do you want me to do about it? I told you i want to be with my wife and daughter" Then he got up and left after being at work for 40 mins, that was his first day home. They were friends for like 2 weeks.?? love?? are some people crazy now a days.... sex does not mean love!!
After that she left him alone and hasn't tried to talk with him. He says he's uncomfortable at work because she sits on the other side of his cubicle wall. He told me he pasted her in the hall and just said hi and kept walking. But right now he's in trouble at work and might just be fired for this issue. He used his cell phone (which is a work only phone) to message her phone. Must have been all day because he ran up a $450 bill this billing cycle, plus god knows how much for the last cycle, which is going to be worse because that's when this started. So now we, well he, has to pay for it. And he doesn't know if this is going to cause him to be fired or not. It's a wait and see what they say, kind of thing. He told his boss about it. He thought it was included in his phone's plan. So he is paying heavily for this mistake right now. And if he looses his job, we will probably loose the house, the car, and alot of bad will come out of this. Since we don't have good standing with the last apartment we were in, and this house and the car will destroy our credit if we loose them. Right now we are already a month behind on the house payments. Wow, amazingly I'm kind of amused looking at the backlash of his mistake. Maybe it's the anti-depressants working their magic. Well, we've still got each other either way and we could sell items to get by. Ah, not so bad.... he wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable at work because he wouldn't work there with her anymore. haha. I think everything he is going through at work now also makes him see that he messed up royally. So there won't be a next time. Who knows what would happen if his boss found out about the affair now, I think he'd be out the door for sure then. I don't really seem to care much either way. I wanted to move anyhow, ha ha. The only thing that bothers me about it is who would want to hire him if his company fires him for this? This is the only "good" job experience he's had.
Well, thanks for listening everyone. I'll update ya'll again.
