Is she telling the truth? Should I trust her..

Forums: Relationships, Abuse, Dating, Trust
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After an argument the other night and my gf physically hurting me, she stayed at some single guys house. She said nothing happened but I didn't believe her so went through her phone.
There are messages to her best friend saying she cuddled the guy, wanked him off and then they did stuff online with other people. I then proceeded with waking her up as she slept in my bed and kicked her out.
She says that she lied to her best friend to please him. He apparently doesn't like me, despite us never meeting, and told her to get with this guy after our argument. The messages to him were along the lines of 'yea I wanked him off and we did stuff online.'
She tells me that nothing happened and she was lying to her best mate to try and impress/please him.
Either way it's over but what do you think, is she telling the truth and nothing happened? I've asked the guy and he says nothing did, obviously. Seems pretty weird to me! Thanks in advance.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 3,102 • Replies: 47

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

PAPALOTAPUSS wrote:

...my gf physically hurting me...

Why would you care about anything else?

Men can (and are) be abused, too.

1 Reply

@jespah,

It got physical (I didn't hit her, I would never do this) and she hurt me yes but we'd moved past that before I saw these messages. I can take being bitten and hit once, but not being cheated on. Do you think she's lying?

1 Reply

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

I repeat; why are you giving a **** about this?

People who hit you will do it again.

And what will come of this? Seriously. If she's lying to her pal, then what does that say about her as a person, that for some bizarre reason she feels the need to lie about such things? Does she go around telling her pal what YOU are like in bed?

In the absolute best-case scenario, you have an abusive overly chatty TMI girlfriend who has no boundaries and no inner editor.

1 Reply

@jespah,

I give a **** because unfortuantely I love, or loved, her. My feelings are mixed as I only found out yesterday and without sounding like a pussy I'd like some outside advice. I do feel similarly to you though and she's no doubt fucked up. I've told her this.

Lets be clear, I tried to kick her out and after an hour of not leaving I tried to drag her. This is when she hit and bit me so technically I started it. I'm sure she tells him everything yes.

I know it's over, I guess I just want to know all the details.

2 Replies

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

But the details don't matter, and they are only gonna make you crazy.

2 Replies

Aha - now we get to the real issue: "I know it's over, I guess I just want to know all the details."

The DETAILS are: she's a cheat and that turns you on.

You are in the middle of a very sick relationship, but I doubt if you even see it.

Continue on . . . and be miserable. Hurts so good, huh?
.

1 Reply

@jespah,

They matter for me though, for piece of mind. Plus I'd want to teach the guy a lesson.

They're both fucked up either way, but I want to know if she did get with him or if she was lying to impress her mate. Which would you believe? And I know you say it doesn't matter but it does to me if I could have you opinion.

Update: she has just admitted to 'cuddling' him. What's next I wonder.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

Errr it doesn't turn me on! It makes me feel sick actually. But there's a big difference to me between the cheating and lying to her freind about it. Big difference, to me. Which do you think?

It's not continuing.

1 Reply

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

I appreciate the input and as I say it makes a difference to me whether she actually cheated. So I'd appreciate your opinion on that matter. I believe they call it 'closure.'

0 Replies

Add "liar, tease and user" to the list.

Let's see: that's "cheater, abuser, liar, user and tease."

She's also making a fool of this other guy, so add "gossiper."

I would think he'd be angry if he finds out. Don't be angry at him. He got used, too.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

Yep that list is pretty accurate. Just remember that until yesterday she was the most amazing person in the world to me and I did everything for her. Now she's a messed up slut in my eyes.

Do you think she did it though?

I've asked him and he says nothing happened. I'm not angry him unless I find out it happened. If what I've been told is true though, he tried to get her to go on some swingers website with him. That's him trying it on in my eyes so I am pissed off at him.

2 Replies

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

She also said the Whatsapp messages with the guy in question are deleted since she updated the app yesterday. Does she think I'm stupid? I don't use whatsapp but if this actually happens please let me know.

The question I'm asking though is do you think she did it or is telling the truth? Thanks.

0 Replies

@jespah,

It makes a big difference in my head which one is truthful.....

1 Reply

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

PAPALOTAPUSS wrote:

Plus I'd want to teach the guy a lesson.

are you in a relationship with the guy?

he owes you nothing and there is NO place in this for you to teach anyone a lesson except for yourself

1 Reply

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

She's either lying or cheating.

To my way of thinking, lying is a bigger relationship fault than cheating.

But it doesn't matter - both of them are problematic if you have not previously agreed to an open relationship.

1 Reply

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

PAPALOTAPUSS wrote:

That's him trying it on in my eyes so I am pissed off at him.

he owes you nothing

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@ehBeth,

So it's ok for guys to try it on with girls when they know she has a bf? I think not. As mentioned earlier though she's used him too so he should be on my side.

3 Replies

@PAPALOTAPUSS,

She's the one who was in a relationship with you.

There is no "boys solidarity club" or "girls solidarity club" after we're in about grade 4.

He is not in a relationship with you. He owes/owed you nothing.

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@PAPALOTAPUSS,

You're being made a fool. THAT's what's bugging you.

Get away from BOTH of these no-goods.

LEARN from this, for goodness sake. Take the high road and find yourself a nice, loyal LADY.

1 Reply

Is she telling the truth? Should I trust her..

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