Is she telling the truth? Should I trust her..

I agree. If she lied then she's just messed up in the head and I'd want to talk to all involved. If it's cheating, we're done. Cheating is worse to me. In your honest opinion which do you think it is- lie to her mate or cheat on me?

She's saying how much she loves me, only wants me, will do anything etc etc and questions her friendship with the guy she lied to to impress. I'm right in thinking she's a psycho and no man would take her back?

Thanks..

as you said earlier



sounds like you both (you and the woman) fucked up

I can't decide if you're well rid of each other or deserve each other.

Yea pretty much. I can't see how I can forget about it until I know exactly what happened. I'm trying to pry it out of her but if I don't get anything today, I'll just leave it. Heartbroken to say the least. She was about to move in etc.

It is not your place to talk to anyone other than the woman about this.

That's your opinion. Meet a guy that doesn't want to kick the head in of another guy who tried it on with their gf and I'll show you a liar. So if your long term bf cheated with a women who knew you were together, you wouldn't be angry at the women? Seriously? You must have very little emotion.

Seriously.

My relationship is with my partner of close to two decades, not with another woman.

What he chooses to do and say is his responsibility and no one else's.

I would hold him responsible for any cheating. No one else is responsible for his behaviour.

I think you're just sticking up for her personally. It takes two to tango.

But ok. As nobody is actually answering my question on whether or not they believe her I will look alewhere. Cheers.

I have a feeling that you are going to get together again with this girl, so nothing we say is going to matter.

You are bound and determined to put the blame on this guy - who has been hoodwinked TOO! Your little girl is a user, friend, and you refuse to put the responsibility where it belongs.

So - move in together, but be aware. This girl really knows how to bust your balls. She will either LIE or she will either CHEAT to get your attention or to get back at you for something you did or to get her way. Not a good way to start out your live-in relationship.

Trust-less and suspicious - Is that the way you want to live? Guess it is.

Hold on for a ride, partner.

PS. Leave that other guy alone. He has nothing to do with you and her. Shame on her for using him - either in a lie or in any other way. Both of you got chumped. I bet he's laughing about all this, anyway.

I won't be getting back together with her, I just want to know if she's lying or not. Simple.

Appreciate the advice though and it's over either way, as I say I just want peace of mind.

I'm sorry but if a guy tries it on with your gf right in front of you (not that that happened) you'd be sackless not to say/do something.

I'm not sticking up for her at all.

I'm telling you she is the only one responsible for what she did - and that started at refusing to leave when you wanted her to leave.

This is all on her.

She is the ONLY person who knows the answer to that.

And again, she either lied or cheated. There's no winning position there.

Thanks and I know, but here's peace of mind I did everything for this girl.

Who would LIE about such a thing?

Who would DO such a thing?

Either way, she's dirt - and so are all her "friends" who are a part in all this.

GET AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE!!

Agreed. I just really want to know which it is.

So it's time to make some plans for making a better group of friends in the future and meeting some women who will not treat you as this crazy woman did.

You've got to be better than her and her friends.

Here's to better friends and a lovely girlfriend in the future.

The guys not my friend but hers. I never met him. I met her online and have never thought I was meant to be with someone so much. Alas I was wrong. I think I'll leave the women altogether for a while. Thanks.

"I just want to know which it is" (lying or cheating)

WHY?? Isn't one the same as the other? Liars cheat. Cheaters lie.

Don't tell me her wanking off a guy is more important than telling you she actually did it?

Your priorities are messed up. You think all girls are sex objects and their "worth" is in their sexual acts. Even if they lie about it.

Poor sap.

The fact she did it is worse.

I don't understand why my priorities are messed up and how you came to that conclusion? I certainly don't think girls are sex objects. Have you ever been in love.

And what if she's telling the truth and didn't do anything, just lied to her mate to please him? She's then be truthful to me but lied about me and this guy to impress her friend. If I got them on the phone and got her to tell him she was lying and see what happens, would that be terrible?

I guarantee you it's over either way but still makes a big difference to me which one it was. Lying to her mate hurts a lot less than her wanking some other guy off etc.

You need to move on from this.

You know she's a liar because she either lied to you or to her friend. She may be a cheater as well.

There's nothing to be gained here - you're just going to find out one bad thing or another. It's just bad any way you look at it.

Write it up as a lesson learned.

I'm not going to say meeting people online is bad because I met my partner in the predecessor of Able2know - another site where people discussed religion and politics and art and stuff. But ... take your time and if possible, do try to expand your local circle and hopefully you will meet some genuine, kind and honest people that way.

I know and you're right. I can't help myself though. I want to hear her talk to the guy she 'lied' to and I want to see the full conversation with both parties. If it makes me feel worse that's my problem, but I think it will help if I know exactly what happened. I'll do this tonight and then move on to bigger and better things. Cloody lonely now though.