Eva wrote:"It was good to hear from you again. I'm glad to know you're doing well. I'm flattered that you want us to catch up again, but I think our time has passed. I wish you all the best....(kickycan)"
Oh, and I'd wait a day or two to send the message so you don't sound too anxious.
I think I'd de-nice that message just a smidge - this one leaves things open for debate if she's trying to keep her web full of little man-wings. (hmmmm, flying monkeys)
wow kicky, i agree with ebeth about her keeping her web full of "little man-wings", good line ebeth.
i go for the much less honest approach, which means, in some cases it's ok to lie. i mean, you're not jeapordizing world peace, you're just protecting yourself. in other words, if you feel like you have to respond, then tell her you've met someone.
my take on the situation is, she likes all the attention, and she is being manipulative, 6 months of knowing her wiith out a shred of hope for poontang. in this case, i'd do nothing, no response. it feels shitty not to respond, but any response to her and she'll just take it as a chance to suck you in.
Gala and ehbeth, I see how you'd not like the web of man-things stuff, but I knew going in that she had a web of man-things. Not a problem in and of itself, but she's collected new man-things while I've been seeing her, which is a problem.
To me, it's kind of like waiting in line to get on a really good ride at the amusement park. I would really like to take the ride, but I've been in line too long now, and I just want to go get an ice cream and go home. I don't have any personal animosity towards the ride, it's just that I want to do something else now.
I agree with you that I could probably whip off a simple lie and be done with this, Gala.
But Eva's note was really good.
Now I'm not sure what to do. Damn you and your pragmatic advice, Gala!
kicky, eva's note is really good, but you've been standng in line for that tunnel 'o monkey love for a long time.
ok, a few expressions come to mind. one comes from a favorite teacher of mine from college: "no one owes you anything", which in my interpretion means, you owe her nothing.
then there is Janus, the mythic god of doors, "when one door closes another one opens", an invitation to cut your losses and set out for snow white, that brunette babe, who gives a whole new interpretation to the "teacup ride."
and finally, a snippet from, i believe, AAA, i mean AA, "when in doubt, do nothing."
Darlin', ah can't help it. Down here in the South, we're raised to be nice.
You can be nice and firm at the same time. I don't think anyone could interpret anything from that message except that it's over. If she continues to send you messages after that, then simply don't respond.
The important thing is to let her down without being pissy about it. Leave her wishing things had worked out, and thinking that she missed out on a great guy. (Which she did.) That's the classy way to do it.
just to throw a little 'doubt' on the whole party here kicky;
i don't see your hesitation to end this drawn out 'dalliance', as evidence of true 'lack of interest.
With a little cash in hand, or not, if you were just lined up for "the ride" (even in such a seemingly well worn 'seat'!), you could find numerous other places in NY to 'line up' if that were truly your only 'need' in this affair.
Before you send off your little missal, of finality, be sure you talk deeply, and confidentially with 'kicky' about it first.
It may be that she has issues, that are (in spite of not being quite the ones you first expected) difficult to deal with, but the question is; are you up for the emotional expenditure of challenging them?
Or is she truly, 'out of your system'?
eva, i agree with you about not being pissy about it. but i don't think this chic is worth any more of the monkey's time. she doesn't have the ability to appreciate the monkey as we do. i just don't see her as someone who will say "of all 100's, 1,000's of men i strung along, i let that fantastic electronic correspondence with whats-his-name get away, he was such a fine hand-shaker."
and to add to the debate, as a northerner, i was raised edgy, so kicky, "somewhat pleasant" is one notch lower than "pleasant", which is a description you hope you can say after visiting relatives. pleasant doesn't cut it when it comes to looking for l-u-v love. don't be a chump.
Okay, BoGoWo, yes, she is definitely out of my system.
Gala, I'm going with Eva here, I'm afraid. Here's what I came up with. This is what I'm sending, unless somebody really hates it.
"It was good to hear from you again. I am glad things seem to be going reasonably well for you. I am flattered that you want us to catch up again, but I think our time has passed. It was a good time, but I'd like to keep things the way they are for now. I also hope that if we ever run into each other again, we can still be friends.
I do wish you all the best.
Kicky"
I think that's pretty good.
Could you change "friends" to "civil"?
kicky, have no fear...it isn't chumpy to write her a note. what eva said makes sense, and it is a gentlemanly thing of you to do. manners count a lot...i have one edit for your note, well, more than one, but i'll just highlight the most important one.
Reword, "I am glad things seem to be going reasonably well for you", i'd just say "i'm glad things are going well for you" by writing "things seem" and "reasonably" imply to me a slight dig. you don't want to give this chic the impression you're pissed what-so-ever.
It would be better if someone else told her you've moved on. Tell me her e-mail address, and I'll do it.
roger, i think friends is good, it's milk-toasty and kind of vague, and it gives kicky a kind of upper-hand on the situation. civil would mean that kicky is assuming he's shattered her. and really, all he can hope for, if he does bump into her, that it be friendly and superficial.
Kicky, you chump. Let me put on my Kicky hat for a second, to get you a straight answer... in Kicky-speak:
6 months and no ass?
You ass. What the hell have you been doing?
Now, here's your e-mail:
Sorry babydoll. I don't that's gonna work. Honestly, I was starting to get a little bored. No offense, but I don't think you're ready for a man like me. I do want to wish you the best of luck, though, Kicky
This way she's either gone, or you get the ass. No middle ground.
You are funny, Bill! <LOL>
kicky...(have I got the two of you straight in my mind now? <checking> oh, good)...you could just leave out the entire second sentence. And I'd take out the "for now" bit. Sounds like you're not quite sure.
Regardless of what kind of girl she is, or what kind of relationship you had, it's never a bad idea to end it on a good note. Nice job, uh...kicky.
SCoates wrote:It would be better if someone else told her you've moved on. Tell me her e-mail address, and I'll do it.
Now that is an interesting idea. What would you say?
OCCOM BILL wrote:Kicky, you chump. Let me put on my Kicky hat for a second, to get you a straight answer... in Kicky-speak:
6 months and no ass?
You ass. What the hell have you been doing?
Now, here's your e-mail:
Sorry babydoll. I don't that's gonna work. Honestly, I was starting to get a little bored. No offense, but I don't think you're ready for a man like me. I do want to wish you the best of luck, though, Kicky
This way she's either gone, or you get the ass. No middle ground.
You're killing me, Bill. Excellent Kicky-speak, by the way. I would probably use the term "You f*cking moron" instead of "You ass", but other than that, excellent.
Thanks for the e-mail idea.
From what you have told us kicky, it is clear that she is f*cking, and you are the moron.
I slay myself sometimes...
Okay, I sent the damn e-mail, taking Eva's suggestions. Now I wake up and this is what I got in response.
"I don't understand. At all. I thought we were friends, that you liked hanging together as much as I. I'm not going to push anything, but will you please explain?"
Why do women always have to have everything explained in great detail?
Shouuld I explain the "waiting in line for a ride" analogy?
