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Thu 17 Jun, 2004 08:36 pm
Okay, this is a little bit of a weird internet relationship thing, but I am not sure what to do here, so any advice would be appreciated.
I met this girl, through an internet dating website, on New Year's Eve. I thought she was way too academic for me, which I'm still not convinced isn't true, but I also thought she was pretty sexy.
Anyway, she tells me right off the bat that she is seeing five guys, and she has one lover, and that she never wants to be married. So, of course I'm intrigued by this. She keeps telling me that she thinks I'm "adorable", which kind of bugs me, but I go with it, because I'm thinking maybe it means that sex is in our future.
So we end up going out every weekend for about five months, with only these silly hello and goodbye platonic kisses to show for it. Plus, we communicate only by e-mail. We never talk on the phone at all. That's a little bit weird to me. She has told me, through e-mail, that she wants to sleep with me, but she likes to wait a long time before getting into the sex part of a relationship.
So about a month or so ago, I got kind of bored with the whole thing, and I guess she must have too, and we just stopped e-mailing each other, and I haven't seen or heard from her since. And I was getting kind of happy with that arrangement. I mean she was somewhat pleasant to be with, but I just started to feel like it wasn't going anywhere for me.
But now I get this e-mail this morning, saying that she wants to get back in touch again.
So I don't know if I am obligated to e-mail her back. Should I write her back and say that I don't want to get back in touch with her? That seems a little bit harsh. But if I don't e-mail her back, isn't that worse?
Hmmmm...
Sounds to my like she has some blank day on her calender of late.
I'd email her back and tell her you've moved on.
I agree with littlek.
Question, if she comes back with "but I was really looking forward to sex, and it's time", then what do you do?
I think the "getting kind of happy with that arrangement" is the key to all of this.
I agree too, but I've tried to write that e-mail, and I can't figure out how to say that, without sounding like a dick. Hmmm, maybe I should make up a good lie. This is hard. I might just blow it off and see if she writes another e-mail tomorrow.
Aw, just write the email. You can post a draft here and get feedback on how to de-dickify it if you want.
i say use your first post, change a couple of words around and send it off. it explains why you don't want to persue that relationship.
Okay, this is what I have so far.
"Okay, I am going to be honest. I am not sure if it would be a good idea to catch up again."
Do I need more than that?
Yes, you need to say more. That sounds like you're asking her to convince you.
How about...
"It was good to hear from you again. I'm glad to know you're doing well. I'm flattered that you want us to catch up again, but I think our time has passed. I wish you all the best....(kickycan)"
(Does that sound too girly?) Oh, and I'd wait a day or two to send the message so you don't sound too anxious.
Oh that is good, Eva! I might change that a little bit to make it more "me", but that is pretty damn good! Thank you!
Thank you, kicky! That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day.
why can't you just tell her truth, namely that you met a really hot chimpanzee?
bonobos is where it's at, spooner. with a chimp, you end up with some simian guy trying to bash you over the head with a leafy branch and it all ends in tears.
chimpanzees at water holes
people at swimming holes
slumming in the summer
monkey-like gorilla-like
bonobo-like me
dropping off a rope swing
hanging from the tree
i'll give you some papaya, friend,
and you'll pick the lice off me
i wish i had opposeable thumbs, like
my many hairy cousins do,
on their hand-like monkey feet.
Give us her email address and we will all send her a message. One of them is sure to get through!
And here's to kicky being "adorable".
I really am adorable. :wink:
If you say so monkey-face.
People generally call me Emu-breath.
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