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Who is the jerk in this little story? Me or the girl? If it's me, should i tell her i am sorry?

 
 
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 05:13 pm
A girl previously asked a friend of mine for my name, called my name from distance in the library and then introduced herself to me. After some days, she showed with body language real obvious signs she wanted me to talk to her like making strong eye contact when she passes by me and staring at me and then looking away when i look back at her. She then came really close to me with a smile in her face. I kinda acted annoyed by her, ignored her because i was stressed and focused in my studies(i had exams). So she anonymously insulted me on social media and asked why i got annoyed. And then i approached her like 2 months later to ask her to talk to me. She was angry and rude and she was like : "This is the first time i ever see you okay? okay!". She humiliated me with those words and she left. I got badly hurt cus i really liked this girl. I was going to tell her how much i liked her (she is gorgeous and one of the best looking girls i have ever seen) and it was really hard for me to approach her. I even spent nights suffering and thinking that she played me and that i was really foolish. And then one day, after like 3 months or so, i approached her again and asked her if she remembers the last time i talked to her, she was like:"no i don't remember" She denied everything. So i told her that i only wanted to talk to her so i can tell her why i got annoyed by her in the first place and why i ignored her before and made a mocking lie about the whole story. I wanted to hurt her and humiliate her back. My pride was the only thing i was thinking about. I then told her to stop being so proud of herself and then i left. She was angry when i approached her and she didn't want to listen to me and that was one more reason for me to humiliate her. She only started listening when i persisted. Why is she so hard on me? I wonder now how could her feelings be toward me and why she acted this way. And was she just playing me? Could she be hurt? Is she hurt now? Does she think less of me or something? I don't know if i should go and tell her i am sorry or just let things the way they are.
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 4,187 • Replies: 110

 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 05:50 pm
@chikitou,
Neither of you are jerks...both of you are immature. You sound young...so it is expected that you will be immature.

Play this one whichever way you want. My guess is someday you will talk about this and laugh at how silly it is.
chikitou
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:02 pm
@Frank Apisa,
Yes maybe you are right. But that day is not today. We are both not as young as you think we are. And that isn't an answer for the question. I need a whole enlightenment of this situation because i am so confused.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:13 pm
@chikitou,
chikitou wrote:

A girl previously asked a friend of mine for my name, called my name from distance in the library and then introduced herself to me.

After some days, she showed with body language real obvious signs she wanted me to talk to her like making strong eye contact when she passes by me and staring at me and then looking away when i look back at her. (this is not an indication that someone wants you to talk to them)

She then came really close to me with a smile in her face.

I kinda acted annoyed by her, ignored her because i was stressed and focused in my studies(i had exams). (were you annoyed or not?)



So she anonymously insulted me on social media and asked why i got annoyed. (if it was anonymous, how do you know it was her?)

And then i approached her like 2 months later to ask her to talk to me.
(2 months after you ignored her you approached her to talk to her?)

She was angry and rude and she was like : "This is the first time i ever see you okay? okay!". She humiliated me with those words and she left.

I got badly hurt cus i really liked this girl. I was going to tell her how much i liked her (she is gorgeous and one of the best looking girls i have ever seen) and it was really hard for me to approach her. I even spent nights suffering and thinking that she played me and that i was really foolish.
(why did you pretend to ignore her if you liked her? why were you playing games?)


And then one day, after like 3 months or so, i approached her again and asked her if she remembers the last time i talked to her, she was like:"no i don't remember" She denied everything.
(5 months after you first ignored her, you approached her again? why the hell should she remember you?)


So i told her that i only wanted to talk to her so i can tell her why i got annoyed by her in the first place and why i ignored her before and made a mocking lie about the whole story.

I wanted to hurt her and humiliate her back. My pride was the only thing i was thinking about.

I then told her to stop being so proud of herself and then i left. She was angry when i approached her and she didn't want to listen to me and that was one more reason for me to humiliate her. She only started listening when i persisted.

Why is she so hard on me? (because you were thinking of your pride and you were rude) I wonder now how could her feelings be toward me and why she acted this way.

And was she just playing me? Could she be hurt? Is she hurt now? Does she think less of me or something? I don't know if i should go and tell her i am sorry or just let things the way they are.



you sound like a total jerk, playing games like this with a girl you claim to like

a nice guy wouldn't play games like this

_________


hopefully you will not play games like this with women you are interested in going forward
chikitou
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:17 pm
@ehBeth,
But when i approached her for the first time, i was acting really sweet and nice. I called her name twice and i was completely under her control and charm. I stuttered a bit and it was obvious. She humiliated me with these words"This is the first time i ever see you okay?okay!!"(she was rude). I said "sorry for annoying you" and then i left badly hurt. She ignored me for months. After summer holidays, she started trying to get my attention again. I felt like she was playing me so i anonymously insulted her on a Facebook page( i wrote something similar to what she wrote about me before) and after that, body language was off. And when i approached her for the second time, she didn't want to talk and also denied that she remembers the last time i talked to her.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:22 pm
@chikitou,
when were you nice? when you ignored her or or when you wanted to humiliate her?

leave her alone

find a nice girl and be nice to her

the whole game-playing thing on both sides is just bullshit
chikitou
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:25 pm
@ehBeth,
So you think she is still hurt of my initial reaction?
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:28 pm
@chikitou,
It doesn't matter.

Whatever this was is over.

Move on.

Try not to be a jerk next time you're interested in a girl.

Keep away from the game playing.



And - if you have mutual friends with this girl, or future girls/women - do not discuss the relationship with them. It just leads to more messes.
0 Replies
 
chikitou
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:35 pm
@ehBeth,
(5 months after you first ignored her, you approached her again? why the hell should she remember you?)
She does remember me cus we study under the same building and i see her and she sees me everyday. Her best friend who was with her when she called my name in the library and introduced herself to me spent the whole last year constantly watching me. And no, it's not my mind. (if it was anonymous, how do you know it was her?)---> i am 100% it was her and i have proofs(It was on a Facebook page) but it's going to be long to explain.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:41 pm
@Frank Apisa,
Frank is right

Frank Apisa wrote:
...both of you are immature. You sound young...so it is expected that you will be immature.


so

forget about this

grow up

do better the next time

no game playing

it's kid stuff and stupid
chikitou
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:45 pm
@ehBeth,
This isn't helping... I just want to know why she keeps acting this way... Don't tell me she doesn't remember me! Cus she does remember me. I always see her friends staring at me in the halls. Even my friend once asked if i know that girl cus he saw her excessively staring at me.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:47 pm
@chikitou,
Actually, it's helping a lot, but you're not listening.

Here, you want to know why she's acting this way? I'll consult my tea leaves.

It. Does. Not. Matter.
chikitou
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:52 pm
@jespah,
I am so interested in psychology... So it does matter to me... How could a girl be in love with you hoping that you go talk to her and then completely changes her mind and decides she hates you forever? I tried dating other girls after this one. And it went well but i just can't forget about this particular one's behavior towards me.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 06:57 pm
@chikitou,
You might want to look up the expression "in love with", as you are conflating a few possibly semi-meaningful looks with that. You have no idea why she was looking, Maybe you were trailing toilet paper on your shoe. You have no idea.

You had nothing with this girl. She owes you nothing, no explanations, etc.

And why are you having troubles dating other women? I dunno. Maybe you're obsessed with this one because it didn't go anywhere. If you start thinking of this whole hopelessly over inflated shadow of an experience as being you dodged a bullet, versus you blew your chances with the one that got away, you'll find you're a far happier person.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 07:13 pm
@chikitou,
It does not matter.
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ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jan, 2015 07:22 pm
@chikitou,
If this is how you behaved with the girl/woman you describe in the first post, I can see why there isn't a relationship.

Good luck with your future relationships.
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