But one could argue that sex is a major aspect of human condition. After all, gays ARE people who like to have sex with the same gender. That's what defines them.
I have to disagree with that. I don't think that's what defines them (definitively) at all.
No more than someone who was born color blind, or with an extraordinary sense of smell is defined solely by that aspect of who they are. Not the best example I know.
Aimee Mullins for instance.
Aimee Mullins is an accomplished athelete (runner), actress, and model, among many other things. Here's a couple of pictures of her...
What a knockout, huh?
Here's another picture of her, and some of her wardrobe choices....
Aimee was born with missing fibula bones, and had both her legs amputated below the knees when she was one year old.
Obviously, she has not allowed the world to sit back comfortably and say "oh, she disabled, crippled, etc" Not only has she made the world see that her lack of legs don't define her, she puts in in our face, making us look at what many might uncomfortably dismiss.
She makes us understand she is many things in addition to being "born that way"
She owns a lot of different legs, for different purposes. They cost a LOT of money. She WANTs you to look at and admire them. She said something like "I bought them, I want you to see them" in an article. (I'm paraphrasing)
But does what goes on below her knees define her? Of course not. If she had not shown the world that she's a lot of things. Many would have looked at her as "that poor legless crippled girl", who clumsily walks around with some god-awful prosthetic sticks attached to her stumps.
Perhaps the fact that the word "sex" is in the word homosexual is part of the problem. Sure, that the scientific word, but in everyday usage, it falls far short of the big picture. But there it is....homoSEXual. For some people, those 3 letters just jump in their face.
Words like gay, lesbian are a more inclusive descriptor.
Like Aimee is not a cripple, they are not a walking aroused vulva or penis.
In other words, if you are a person who immediately defines a person by that....get over yourself and look at the reality.