Does she just need space ?

Thanks ehBeth...I needed that.

Damn...it was all about me...I'm a retard omg

this is the only sentence in that whole mess that doesn't have an "I" in it, and it doesn't begin to make sense

Good luck with your next relationship.

Really, honestly.

I do want people out there to be in good, happy, strong relationships. They're worth the effort.

That's a Taoism quote...she reads it alot

I've just googled it - not coming up as a Tao quote.

Where did you find it?

Here are Tao references to desire:

Free from desire you see the mystery. Full of desire you see the manifestations.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 1]

Lessen selfishness and restrain desires.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 19]

Without desire there is stillness, and the world settles by itself.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 37]

There is no greater crime than desire.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 46]

I have no desire to desire, and people become like the uncarved wood by themselves.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 57]

The sage desires no desire, does not value rare treasures, learns without learning, recovers what people have left behind.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 64]

http://www.taoistic.com/taoquotes/taoquotes-09-desire-wealth-greed.htm

The Taoism ideology by Lao Tzu

There are like a thousand versions...you want me to take a picture ? I didn't think that was the point of this post though...

I looked it up, and that's not the exact quote.

It's “To understand the limitation of things, desire them.”
He was speaking of rising above all desire.

Meaning is not quite the same as the OP as it.

Wow it's slightly different...umm ok.

What does this have to do with the break up or anything...you're being petty now

Well, it sort of is the point.

The one thing that doesn't directly reference you in your apology gets Taoism completely backwards (and you indicate that she's into Taoism).

Desire is not a positive in Taoism, so the way you've referenced it in your apology mucks up the apology even further.

___________

A simple acknowledgement that she was upset/angry/hurt, and had a right to be, would have been good. Following that with a direct apology would have been enough. Two or three drama-less sentences in total.

I was saying that as an understatement, and in any event I was addressing ehBeth not you. She said she couldn't find that quote, and I found and supplied it.

But, you don't understand I was addressing someone else, well, because it is all about you.

Your statement....They say the best way to find out something's limitations is to desire it. I pushed you to your limit and I don't blame you for.... has nothing to do with Tao's quote of “To understand the limitation of things, desire them.”

It doesn't mean to push another person to their limits because you desire them.
It means understanding you can't fight against nature, and should go with the flow, and ultimately not desire.

You need to go with the flow.

Oh God Beth, we should be sitting in the same room so we stop posting the same thing.

It's not slightly different. It's the reverse.

_______


The point is - the thing you thought was an apology to someone you hurt, badly and deliberately, was about you. The one thing that didn't actually mention you is a misquote of Tao.

Tao talks about rising above desire, while your 'apology' talked about your desires.

______

sooooooooooo, you're going to be 24 soon. You are an adult. You want to be in an adult relationship with someone in the future. Part of the lesson is - think about the other person and how you can be a positive for them.

I think the biggest thing was I always have to be right...I'm accepting your advice...dealing with it and moving on. If she comes back great...if not... I guess I'll be fine

Is this how your conversations with this Jen person went?

She perhaps called you on things that made no sense, and you tell her that wasn't the point?

And if she pressed the issue, the name calling started?

Edit: Ah, I just read your last post. We cross posted. Yes, now you have it exactly.

You always had to be right.

Big relationship destroyer.

Benevolence and Compassion

The highest benevolence acts without purpose.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 38]

The sage has no concern for himself, but makes the concerns of others his own.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 49]


See others as yourself. See families as your family. See towns as your town. See countries as your country. See worlds as your world.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 54]

Return animosity with virtue.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 63]

I have three treasures that I cherish. The first is compassion. The second is moderation. The third is not claiming to be first in the world.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 67]

By compassion one can be brave.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 67]

The sage honors his part of the settlement, but does not exact his due from others.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 79]

Heaven’s Way is to benefit and not to harm.
[Tao Te Ching chapter 81]

No it was different in person...it was the texting that messed it up