@maxdancona,
Quote:If the mother had negative feelings toward women and decided to abort any girl, would this story get the same reaction. I don't think we can make abortions for sex-selection illegal. I still find it morally troubling even though women have the right to do it....Boys and girls should be treated equally
Max, this is precisely the reason I don't want to get involved in a discussion of "rights" or "equality" with you.
I'm pro-choice, but that means I support a woman's access, and legal right, to a medically safe abortion. under all circumstances, for whatever reason she chooses. This is an area where equality does not apply--it is
her body and
her choice, period.
I've been a staunch civil rights advocate for the past 50 years--that means I want no one's civil rights abridged or limited on the basis of gender--or race, or religion, or ethnic origin. And, during the civil rights movement, I marched, protested, attended sit-ins, etc. to help insure that equality of civil rights, and nothing in my thinking has essentially changed since that time. Is that clear enough for you?
But, assuring civil rights and changing deeply ingrained attitudes, are two quite different things, the latter being a long slow process. We, as a society, are still very much in the process of changing attitudes, it is an ongoing process.
Our societal definitions of "femininity" have altered considerably, and expanded considerably, from where they were when I was a girl growing up, and, while notions of "masculinity" have also expanded somewhat, little boys still hear, "act like a man" or "man-up" referring to definite types of behaviors they are expected to display, as males, and men still insult each other by casting aspersions on each other's masculinity--that can be seen even in some A2K threads. A woman who defers to her husband is regarded, by a good many men, as a good wife, but a man who defers to his wife is often regarded as "pussy-whipped" or a wimp, by many men. And, while a very sexually active male can be positively regarded as a stud, a similarly sexually active female may be seen as promiscuous or called a slut.
As long as we have notions of femininity and masculinity and of female and male roles, both in the larger society, within our main religions, and within our family structures, the notions of treating boys and girls, and men and women, fully "equally" in all spheres ain't gonna happen. We can legislate against flat out discrimination on the basis of gender--or race--and we have done that-- but that hardly insures equal treatment in the business of daily life. Things like sexism and racism persist, often in subtle rather than blatant manifestations, and those differentially affect certain groups, and those not in the affected groups often cannot understand what the noise or protests of the affected group are about.
Although equal under the law, in terms of civil rights, men and women are also different, they are different physically and biologically, and, even within gender groups, they differ from each other, and they may be exposed to quite different cultural experiences growing up due to gender, and due to socio-economic, racial, religious, and ethnic differences as well. Those differences should not be ignored, and the societal aim should not be a massive assimilation to wipe out differences, those are differences that enhance our perspectives and enrich our culture.
While it's nice to say that you raised your male and female children equally, I think it's more important to treat them as individuals, who may have particular interests, or aptitudes, or needs. I think it's important to raise all children in a way that maximizes their achieving their full potential to function as satisfied productive adults--that may, or may not, involve treating them all "equally", since, as individuals, we are also born with different genetic endowments.
So I think we may differ considerably in how we view "equality" beyond basic civil rights. Women generally have more need to be concerned about, and aware of, personal safety than men do, simply because they are more physically vulnerable, and because the possibility of sexual assault is greater for them--even women in their 90's get raped in their nursing home beds or their homes--that's a reality women live with throughout their lives . Quibbling about precise statistics on this issue seems quite beside the point to me.
And, on the issue of "men's rights", or what you see as "men's entitlements"--such as some mandated or legislated joint custody of children, that's not something I would support. I think custody should be determined on a case by case basis, in the best interests of the child or children involved, and that might, or might not, involve joint custody in every case.
I don't view the world, or the issue of sexual assault/rape, in gender adversarial terms, as some kind of war between the sexes, and I have absolutely no axe to grind with men--I have, and do, love men as my intimate partners and helpmates in life, as my close relatives and friends, and I have respected and liked them as my colleagues and co-workers. I've never had an issue with men failing to treat me with the respect and concern I deserve as a human being, who happens to be female, nor has any man in my life ever complained about not receiving similar respect and concern from me, because he happens to be male.
It is just absurd to assume that wanting to discuss criminal issues, such as sexual assault/rape, things that have never affected me personally, is a way of trying to vilify all men, or that suggests all men are engaging in such acts--it has been repeatedly pointed out, by me, that a very small percentage of men actually engage in such crimes, but that small percentage tend to be serial predators, which is how the rape numbers get inflated.
If you don't want to look at the horrific acts described in those last two news stories I posted, then you shouldn't participate in discussions about sexual assault/rape--it's not a pretty picture, it's about
criminal assaults, and both of those cases occurred on school grounds, one at a high school and the other at a university, and both involved members of the football team.
Schools are setting up programs to help prevent sexual assaults, so we have to look at the reality of those assaults to know what to address. And it's very important to listen to those who commit such rapes, like the convicted Vanderbilt University rapist Dr. Phil just interviewed. He showed no real insight into his behavior, he took no real responsibility for it. Well, lots of young men grow up without fathers, and sometimes get blind drunk, but most of them, the overwhelming majority of them, don't rape or sodomize or urinate on, a totally incapacitated female fellow student--but we have to try to understand the mind-set of those who do such things, if we want campus educational efforts to be more effective at prevention. That particular young man faces potentially decades in prison for his acts of that night, a tragedy in itself, but that will give him a long long time to try to understand why he did what he did. Our campuses can't afford to wait that long, they have to try to understand and address these problems now.
