This is what I mean by ideology. You have a narrative that you believe. You then accept all of the evidence (even if it is incorrect) that supports your narrative. You reject or ignore all of the evidence that goes against your narrative (even if it is correct)
The problem with ideology is that what you believe is more important than evidence or facts.
You will note that I am not doing that. There have been several things that I have agreed with you because your point was supported by facts. There are many areas in which I agree with feminists. Is there a single point where you agree with men's rights, or accept than men are disadvantaged in any way? Ideology is always one sided.
Your latest argument is a logical fallacy of course. The fact that 80% of women you know have been abused doesn't mean that 80% of women in general have been abused (any more than the fact that more than 80% of people I know think that Tom Brady was horribly cheated means anything). This is a matter that we choose to be with people with whom we have common experiences and interests. You can't extrapolate to assume that everyone has the same experience or interests as the close friends you choose to associate with.
If you really want to know the percentage of women who have been abused, or conversely the percentage of men who have been abused, you have to do a valid study. A valid study means you get a large representative sample, you design an instrument and control for bias, and you accept the results even if they don't meet your expectations or hopes.
When these studies have been done objectively, the "1 in 5" figure, or even the "1 in 6" figure has not been supported by the unbiased research.
I am sorry that this fact disappoints you.