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Teens and house chores

 
 
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 02:18 pm
How can I get my teen to help out with house chores more and help as an example for my small son?
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 648 • Replies: 8

 
Lordyaswas
 
  3  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 03:53 pm
@NaomiJShaw,
I would start by asking him/her the same question.

0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 04:36 pm
@NaomiJShaw,
NaomiJShaw wrote:

How can I get my teen to help out with house chores more and help as an example for my small son?

the carrot/stick approach, you make it clear that this is not optional, and they get rewards when done and punishments if they dont do it. Or they accumulate rewards, as in if they have been doing good you will say yes next time when they ask for money.

Problem here is that you are way late, you should have been doing this when they were around 6-7yo. This is going to be a fight now.
One Eyed Mind
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 04:59 pm
@hawkeye10,
All the more reason to realize that bribery and oppression of freedom is not teaching our children - it's preventing our children from becoming real human beings.

Which would you prefer?

A robot child that is easy to control, but not really a person.

An asshole child that is hard to control, but is a person.

A well-defined child, that takes parental responsibility and patience to influence just right without oppressing their will and bad choices.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 05:16 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
Quote:
All the more reason to realize that bribery and oppression of freedom is not teaching our children

THis parent is all for using the tools of bribery and oppression. They work. Moral objection be damned, parenting is hard, just about anything that works is fine by me. We dont need anymore idiot brats running around, which is the main product of "nice" parenting.
One Eyed Mind
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 05:31 pm
@hawkeye10,
I await the day you wake up from your prideful lion's sleep and understand that throughout this Universe, life is given freedom and limits - fully giving freedom and fully giving limit kills life.

Fact: Statistics show that most rapists were religiously imprisoned by dogma.

Fact: Most people that act out in an unappealing order against authority were suppressed by the authority in their earlier years.

Fact: CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE is a sign of intelligence.

Fact: Emotions are natural - preventing your child from expressing those scary tantrums is making them WORSE.

Fact: Humans are no different than volcanoes and seas in how they are calm at one point and menacing at another.

Fact: Learning how to live with people's non-appealing sides is what love and family is all about. Dealing with that side that makes you crack, but at the same time you know you have the same side hypocritically.

Fact: Being comfortable with people's non-comfortable images makes the future more comfortable between you and them. I have changed psychopaths into people throughout my life with words alone.

Fact: The problem is not the kid throwing a fit. The problem is the parent breaking under pressure in sight of the kid throwing a fit.

Fact: Giving a child candy when they won't shut up is lazy parenting and leads to consequence in the unforeseen future.

Fact: You can't raise a child in only love and only tough love. You need to balance out your pride and their pride. You can't just choose everything for them and expect them to make their way in this jungle of a society full of predators and psychopaths.

Fact: Geniuses all came from childhoods that acted against the very thing you say "works" - yeah, it works for you, but it doesn't work in the long run. You're creating monsters and psychopaths by suppressing natural reactions because you care more about your own comfort than theirs.

Fact: I would be a better parent than you'll ever be.
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 05:37 pm
@One Eyed Mind,
Quote:
I would be a better parent than you'll ever be.

Which by normal language convention means that you are in fact not a parent, which means that you handing out parenting wisdom with no experience.
One Eyed Mind
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 05:42 pm
@hawkeye10,
The "you don't live in my shoes" excuse does not work on me. I am well versed in psychology, philosophy and ontology. Therefore this brain I have can tell you everything you need to know from sheer analysis itself. I don't need hands on experience to tell you that psychopaths are worse off than personalities.

You're making an excuse to deflect the facts, mate. Your parenting is terrible and leads to consequences you're too prideful to admit exists. Let me tell you, your parenting disgusts me. That's another fact. You don't raise children - you raise slaves. You cage them up just like you cage up your pets. Letting them out when YOU want to. They have a will and somehow you forget that because your will is selfish and unrelentingly inconsiderate of your own children's freedom.

Children are born geniuses - frankly, you took that away from your own children. You care more about your own comfort than theirs. You don't even imagine for a second what it's like to be controlled by the parent. It's funny, it's the controlling parents that lose control of their kids before the non-controlling parents do.

Interesting how that works! Perhaps if you researched your idea of parenting, you can see the flaws of your nature for yourself. What you have are not kids - they are simply robots.

Don't believe me? Ask your child about themselves. See how much they know about themselves. Make sure they aren't just repeating what others taught them to believe in.

Enjoy your clones, Hawk.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Oct, 2014 06:59 pm
@NaomiJShaw,
Welcome to A2K, Naomi. How does your teen react when you ask him to help around the house?

Oh, by the way, ignore one eye, he's out of touch with reality.
0 Replies
 
 

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