You just learnt the hard way that the best is the enemy of the good.
From what you tell, you stand low chances of getting him back. That sort of natural, free flowing bliss of love that you describe is beautiful but fragile. It was based on carefree abandon and total trust. Now that you hurt him, he will never open up to you the same way as before. He will always have some fear that you will hurt him again. And if he is as smart as he seems to be, he won't make the same mistake twice.
A broken pot can be glued back into some shape but it's never going to look the same.
Now, if you are really in love, you still have the romantic nuclear option: the 5 pages love letter where you throw yourself at his feet asking for his forgiveness for your faults and say you can't live without him. That has worked more than once, but it takes some humility.