Guy touched me, should I tell boyfriend?

Oh, it is Thailand, even better!

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If she was on holidays, maybe she didn't want to take a phone with her and pay international charges..

More to the point, she "met" people they were their friends not hers, why would the guy want to ring around to his mates? He was trying to mate.

The only question it may pose is "why" the OP didn't ask him too but hey, she may have who knows. And 1600 people on the beach drinking? How the heck to you even hear a phone .

I think I know what you are alluding at. I don't think that she denied she liked the attention quite the opposite. But, she was also in a foreign country at a beach with thousands of people, young, drinking, having a good time before that she "told" him she had a boyfriend. Perhaps she was naïve, perhaps she though that would be enough and it would just remain in the flirting stage.

She said lesson learnt so you know...

The full moon party typically has anywhere from 10 to 30 thousand attendees. Easy to get lost in phone or not.

It seems that we have seen more than one story about a woman finding herself in a compromising position and not immediately, and forcefully saying "No!", slapping an offending hand or just hauling off and socking the jerk in the mouth.

Not everyone behaves as they think they would in a given situation, and not everyone behaves exactly the same way in the same, but most, if not all, of the women I know would not let a man's hand remain in their pants if they didn't want it to be there.

This is not to say you did anything horribly wrong.

You certainly wouldn't be the first woman or man who despite being involved in a relationship allowed the exciting and flattering attentions of someone within a romantic setting, to override their good sense. It was your good sense that put an end to the intoxicating situation before it went too far.

The chances of your boyfriend appreciating your telling him about this matter are very slim. Most men, told such a story by their girlfriend will immediately want to find the other guy and punch his lights out. They may even tell the woman, initially, that they are glad she shared the story with them, but eventually almost all of them will get around to wondering how the situation arose in the first place, and jealousy and insecurity will begin to gnaw away at their mind.

You may think you will feel better because you will have confessed and relieved yourself of the guilt you are feeling. Chances are very good, however, that your "ordeal" will not be over if you tell your boyfriend, it will only have just begun. Believe me, you are not doing him any kindness by telling him unless this behavior is something your intend to or are likely to repeat, because there is a fair chance it could end your relationship.

It was a mistake. Everyone makes them and by mistake standards, it wasn't all that big a one. Use the opportunity to do a couple of things:

1) Ask yourself if the situation arose because you are in any way dissatisfied by your relationship with your boyfriend. I don't necessarily mean sexually dissatisfied, but you may feel as if there isn't enough romance between the two of you. If that's the case, then find a way to talk to your boyfriend about it without bringing up the story. If there's something more deeply troubled about your relationship behind the incident ask yourself if you really want it to continue. If there's an unsolvable problem, (such as you don't love him anymore) you'll do him the biggest of favors by ending the relationship now.Be honest with yourself.

2) If you do still love your boyfriend and it's a relationship that your are serious about, then you have dodged a bullet. You didn't do something that is so horrible that it should mean the end of your relationship. (It might though if you tell your boyfriend) Accept your feeling of guilt as the consequences of your actions and commit yourself to never letting it happen again. Then ease up on yourself with the guilt. Again, it wasn't that horrific a deal, you don't need to keep beating yourself up about it, and if you do it's liable to become a problem in your relationship because its become a problem in your life.

Also don't make a bigger problem of this than it deserves to be. If it's a sign that the relationship isn't what it once was, recognize it, end it and move on. If it isn't then stop obsessing about it.

Unless your boyfriend is unlike most men in the world, telling him is going to hurt him and if anyone deserves to be hurt because of this incident, it's you not him. Oh, and BTW, it sounds like you've already been hurt as much or more than your mistake requires.

Put it behind you, and don't do it again.

I do not think you did anything wrong other than let your guard down in a strange place with people you did not know well. No one knows (man or woman, young or old) how they will react in a situation of being molested by a stranger. It doesn't sound like you were leading him on on purpose, more that you both had some alcohol and signals got a bit mixed up. Freezing is not an uncommon reaction when one finds oneself suddenly at the receiving end of a sexual encounter that comes out of the blue. That you did not reciprocate and then left the situation says loud and clear that you were not out to cheat on your boyfriend. I was (and still am most of the time) oblivious to people hitting on me. I had lots of guy friends in high school and was honestly shocked when several of them later professed to have crushes on me or ask me out. To me, it felt completely out of the blue, while it never seemed to surprise anyone else around me. So I can see where you are coming from. I'm afraid I don't know how to advise you on whether or not you should tell your boyfriend. It would completely depend on how well he knows you and trusts you. I agree your friends may be a better help.

Unless your friends never gossip or decide they don't want to be friends anymore, of course.

seriously. I would never trust my friends with information that could never get out, only select family members.Sexual misadventures especially now that so many people think that they owe it to the human race to blab around town any information that they come across. As we have talked about in the rape thread any person who is sexually transgressed upon but does not want to see the other party hurt and perhaps even in jail should never tell a single person anything about what happened. We can not expect that promises of secrecy will be kept.

Very true. Make sure your friends are not the kind to gossip about it behind your back. Stuff like this never keeps hidden forever, so it may be best that you open up to your boyfriend after all. Frankly, after hearing your story, if he freaks out on you then at least you will know what kind of person he is.

I totally understand where your coming from. I have a similar problem to you right now. My study partner is male and i am female. I go round to study with him so we can finish are project. But recently he has started to touch me up and trying to get me to touch him places. Everytime this happens i walk out and forget about the work. This means that i am going to end up failing on my project. I don't know wether i should tell my boyfriend or not. My advice to you is ask a professional for help or tell your boyfriend. If he really loves you he will understand.

There is absolutely no need to tell your boyfriend, it would likely upset him. All you did wrong was to be foolish, you took an enormous risk. In future never feel safe because guys are around your own age, for in reality they are by far the highest risk group out there. It was an invitation to sex on the beach

Lilly352 - is there a reason you have not talked to someone on faculty about this very inappropriate behaviour by your study partner?

It`s likely simply that she felt guilty, she should n`t have felt guilty, and there is no productive place on line in posing questions which may cause her to relive that guilt. Words on a page are not adequate to pick up the pieces of so doing, and what should she lose her connection? Even one to one might not be adequate.

Beth is right, as it is affecting if Lily will be able to pass her study group work, besides the obvious that she was being harassed, which is a definite student no-no.

Sorry, what does that sentence even mean? I entirely agree that she should report the incident, change of subject entirely mind, so that makes us both "right" by your reckoning then. I nowhere suggested that she should not. Asking for the reason why she`d been unable was the mistake, a big one, as you should by now be aware, an entirely different area to the suggesting that she should report the incident whilst with the support of close friends. Detail in communication means everything to being understood. as well when attempting to provide some genuine support.

If we were only to talk about people to their face most of us for most of the time would never open our mouths. The problem generally only arises should it go full circle. There are many potential advantages for one in being "spoken about behind their back" It facilitates rational/reasonable response when talking directly to their face, and to their face is where it usually counts most. It provides counsel for a second party, a friend, etc, etc, and it is the way we are adapted to function as social beings. It enables us to think, to function more socially ebly, it`s a part of being human.

Coincidence, my surname is Kates.
Equally, you may contact me on this email address for my direction: Deleted!
If you are not acquiring new physical world records through your sixties then why not?
Could be the previous post was deleted because Mrs Kate thought twice?

I didn't/ haven't told anyone as i am too scared to i am still quite young and i confused. He is usually there for me and i didn't want to get him into any trouble. I seriously don't know what to do anymore

He is not your friend. Don't protect him from trouble - he is already in it. And he may be doing this with other women. If you won't stand up for yourself, at least stand up for them and tell the school.

There is nothing in Jespa`s post which I`d revoke. Fear entirely to one side now, are you still feeling the same acute urgency to report this incident to a person in authority? You would do this not on your own but with the company and support of friends. Doing this would/could help you enormously in otherwise negative relationships to come later in life.