Reply
Sun 11 May, 2014 05:32 pm
As it says, I just finished the first worst date ever. Well, technically second...
I met a gal on and online dating site. We went out the other night for dinner and drinks. Was pretty brief considering. I wasn't really attracted to her, but I thought she would be cool to hang out with.
In her profile, it says she is in to hiking and camping and etc. The weather is perfect today, so I invited her for a short hike. This was a trail I took my kids on when they were 4 and 5, and in the winter.
The trail is really just narrow double track, no biggie. But after about a half a mile, she starts really getting out of breath. So it became: walk a hundred yards, take a panting break.
Now, we have just started this hike. I am really trying to figure out what to do, because we may as well be climbing Mt Everest at this point. Then, she totally starts freaking out about how fat she is (she was bigger than I remembered when I was drinking at night), and just kind of has a meltdown. It was very awkward being in the middle of the woods with essentially a stranger that is having a meltdown based on a date suggestion I had made. How I wish I would have just invited to her to lunch, but alas, it was not to be.
I just kind of freeze, and she eventually states the obvious and that she is going back to my car. Which, unfortunately, is at the top of a huge hill and out in the sun. She starts crying again, then says she wants to walk alone. All is well until we get to the hill, and I'm sure you can extrapolate what happened there.
Finally, in the car, she asks me to take her home which I do with haste. There are more minor sniffling/fat comments along the way. Normally, I pride myself a quick thinker on my feet and able to creatively deal with these situations, but I was so shocked and caught off-guard that I more-or-less froze.
I am sure I ruined her mother's day and gave her a complex or made it worse and etc...which is not a great feeling. But I also don't think she should have put hiking in her interests if that is the case.
It's times like these that make being perpetually-single easier to stomach.
@inthewoods,
... and you posted this here, uh, why, exactly?
Mistakes were made (on both sides). Maybe send her a text, at least ask if she's okay. Nothing more. Just, you know, the kind of thing a nice person would do. This is not you asking her out again or anything; it's you being nice.
@inthewoods,
Hey woods? Just consider yourself lucky she didn't mention rock climbing as her passion.
@inthewoods,
As a single man myself let me first say that you were respectful despite being shocked and lost for words. With that said, let me say that your date would be a deal breaker for me. This woman is a classic example of a car dealer trying to upsale a beat up Volkswagon. Obviously there was some dishonesty on her part with the hiking, not to mention she sounds overweight and out of shape. To top it off she is severely self-conscious adding along with that, she has self-esteem issues.
Instead of keeping her composure and perhaps pacing herself shifting the discussion from her being out of shape to getting to know you, she decided to cry and have you waste gas going to and fro. From one single man to another, cut your loses and move on. The fact she was crying and talking about her weight shows she has deeper issues beyond her body. Rest assured women today (in my opinion based on my experiences) would be less kind than you, and if that were you having the meltdown that would be your one and only date
@jespah,
How did he make a mistake? It sounds like she was out of shape and dishonest. That would be like me saying in my profile that I'm muscular but in reality I'm morbidly obese.
@inthewoods,
LMAO!!!!!!!!!
i had 1 where her ex showed up and they just started having a conversation excluding me, went to the "bathroom" got in my car and left. lol
@Buttermilk,
when i take a girl out i mke that bitch pay me gas $$ lol
@sunyata,
No offense dude but you're on a date and her ex shows up and you don't interject? Sounds like you're slightly passive.
@Buttermilk,
i am passive too a point.
i thought at that time if i were to beat his ass it would be an over reaction.
plus i also thought im not paying for both of them.
and women are easy cum easy go. lol
but ur right i am passive most of the time.
@jespah,
...as opposed to posting this...elsewhere?
Nah, as already mentioned, this is a done deal. For all I know she's just getting her composure and my text would send her over the edge again.
And I definitely felt bad, but what exactly would my mistake have been other than not trying to figure out how to comfort/possibly make worse her situation?
@sunyata,
Hope you left them with the bill, heh...
@Buttermilk,
they seemed to hav a good time without me.
why interject? i had no need to or any desire to carty this situation any futher.
@inthewoods,
Oy jeez. You did as well as could be expected. I wouldn't text or contact her in any way because people with that level of emotional turmoil going would probably turn any contact at all into something much more - and you may never get rid of her.
@inthewoods,
i did lol plus i already ordered lol
I can see sending a message to see if she's ok, but she has probably gotten her breath back by now, and it may send a wrong signal even if you are just being courteous. I'm still thinking about it. Was asthma going on? Doesn't sound like it, but that could explain some of it, confusion about what she thought she could do.
I'm mixed, I think a small inquiry might be thoughtful, and you're a grown man and could fend dependency off. But then it might be expected that you want to go for coffee or something.. so the trick would be to make it short, not curt, but short. Plus, you might be a bit angered and that might come out if you kept texting.
You are probably the last person she'd like to discuss matters of how to get in better shape with. I agree that listing hiking as a hobby was on the strange side, but maybe she was better at it in the past. Also, re her probable self esteem stuff going on, she might need counseling - but again, you're the wrong person (in my opinion) to suggest it.
I'm a female, have off and on been in pretty good shape re jogging and swimming and certainly miles and miles of city walking - but I have experienced being the slow one at Yosemite, not once, but twice, several years apart, but hiking never one of my things. Now I'm a fool on her feet, but this is decades later. But I don't understand listing hiking as a hobby if it wasn't. I'm guessing that was wishful..... wouldn't it be nice..
@ossobuco,
i went running with a friend before ended up lapping him serval times this ruined his motivation.
another time i went running with a friend, again lapping him etc..
this increased his motivation and now hes up to 20 mile runs.
@ossobuco,
No, she definitely wasn't having an asthma attack. This was just pure out of shape.
Mind you, I'm no fitness guru. This is my first hike of the year, so it wasn't like I chose Half Dome. This was just a hike that a 4 year old has done, to shake the winter cobwebs off so to speak.
The last communication that we ever had was when I dropped her at her house. My life is too busy to deal with this kind of a situation. I'm pretty sure she is too embarrassed to contact me again, and no way I'm contacting her. In my judgement, best to let this one alone.
@inthewoods,
What I don't understand was when you said she was bigger than the last time you saw her after drinking...LOL What did you mean by that?
@Buttermilk,
Easy.
1) Beer Goggles.
2) She was wearing much looser clothing, and we were sitting at a table, and it was dark/night/dimly lit pub. When I picked her up, she was wearing jeans that were....uhh...a little tighter fitting, and it was broad daylight.
@inthewoods,
LMAO I thought that's what you meant...You stopped drinking and started thinking. Not to pry but um did you...um...you know after the pub?
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace