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Help!!! I'm madly in love with my best friend!! How do I tell her? Or should I even say anything?

 
 
Reply Fri 13 Dec, 2013 04:17 pm
I'm in love with my best friend and don't know what to do. We've been friends for going on close to 14 or 15 years and have been really really close friends for the past probably 5. We talk everyday and tell one another absolutely everything. I can think back to the first time I ever saw her. I remember what she was wearing, the way her hair was fixed and everything else about her that day. And to this day in my eyes she's still the most beautiful girl in the world. I've never met anyone more amazing than she is. I love every single little thing about her, she's the epitome of perfection to me. We think the same way, like the same things and enjoy the same types of things. We get along great. And I can't find a single flaw or anything at all I would change about her. I've wanted to tell her how I fell about her and how much se means to me time and time again but I'm absolutely terrified of how she would react. I'm scared to death of loosing the type of relationship that I have with her if her feelings for me don't match the way I feel for her. I couldn't stand to loose her I care about her way too much. I know she truly cares about me and love's me, we say I love you to each other often. But, and this is a big but, I'm not sure if it's the I'm in love with you type of love. At times when we talk I think it is then at others I'm not sure. We've been out with other couples and they automatically think we're bf/gf just by how we act around each other. And when we say we're just friends they kinda laugh and give a sarcastic OK. The girls say they know there's more there just by the way we look at each other. I know every time I look at her I can't help but smile.
But I would really appreciate some feedback, advice and opinion's as to what I should do in my situation.
Thank you very much.

 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Dec, 2013 04:39 pm
@TheDudeAbides,
Whoa! Time out!

You're at step #857 of the process. She may or may not be at step #1.

Bottom line - there's a disconnect here, and if you open up by spouting words of love (and you even admit that you're unsure if it's truly that), then you will likely just freak her out.

So, you're friends. Excellent!

So instead of getting on one knee and telling her that it's the big L and all of that, how about something more like -

Susan*, can we get dinner tomorrow night? And not as pals; I mean as a date.

And see what happens.

*Note: For women not named Susan, substitute the correct name.
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Fri 13 Dec, 2013 05:09 pm
@jespah,
Quote:
Bottom line - there's a disconnect here, and if you open up by spouting words of love (and you even admit that you're unsure if it's truly that), then you will likely just freak her out.



You are of the opinion that she does not know how love sick he happen to be?

Hell when I talk to my wife my voice and tone change to the point people walking by know that I am in love with this woman.

Now the question is why she had decided not to light a fire under him years before knowing his feelings.

If he had such a close relationship with her I would suggest just having a frank private conversation with her and see if he might have some standing other then close friends.

Somehow I do not think his feelings will be a shock to her.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  4  
Reply Fri 13 Dec, 2013 05:14 pm
@TheDudeAbides,
Life is full of risks. Look at it this way. How will you feel 10 years from now if you never ask her out? Will you regret it if the two of you never have the chance to see if you are right for each other? Sure, there is always a risk that asking her out will lead to dating and then maybe a breakup that would ruin what you currently have. But someone once said "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

So ask her out. But I agree that you stay away from the L word for the time being. You really don't know if you love her. You only know you are super attracted to her. Love is much deeper than that.

Why are you still sitting there reading this? Pick up the phone already and ask her out.

Good luck
TheDudeAbides
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Dec, 2013 05:32 pm
@CoastalRat,
Thank's for the advice and the good luck.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Dec, 2013 07:14 pm
@TheDudeAbides,
Why overthink this? Just enjoy it.

0 Replies
 
bWhitefang1
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Dec, 2013 01:20 pm
I'm in a situation like this but I asked for her number and I need help. SHE GAVE ME HER MOM"S AND SISTER"S NUMBER BECAUSE SHE HAS NO PHONE! For more info look for the discussion named HELP PLEASE!
0 Replies
 
meeka
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Dec, 2014 09:17 pm
@TheDudeAbides,
Just tell her how you feel either she'll accept you or reject you, and if you said your best friends like you said you both are she'll continue being your friend. It might be uncomfortable for a while but it will fall right back into place. My best guy friend told me he said his past exes said he was not a good communicator but he sure told me a handful when he expressed his feelings for me at the time I was speechless and boy did I stuttered. We joked about that the first time I had nothing to say....he asked me if I felt uncomfortable with him and actually I didnt we just continued speaking like we usually do.....we're still good friends and we knew each other for a long time....wish you luck
0 Replies
 
Annie007
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 May, 2016 11:29 am
I'm in the same situation, except for I'm a gal.I told him recently how I feel since I think he secretly felt the same long before me.Go for it.It is very hard to be a genuine friend after you fall madly in love.
0 Replies
 
 

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