I think my best friend likes me but I like his brother

Forums: Love, Advice, Crush, Best Friend
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Jim, Peter and I have been best friends for 1.5 years now. We skype everyday and hang like every other weekend (when we can). Ever since I met Jim (I have known Peter long than Jim) all my friends told me they think Jim likes me. I think it is true because when I ask something he drops everything, he likes everething I am wearing, he stands up for me, gets shy with me, wants to show off for me etc.
But since october I noticed his brother for the first time. His brother is 3 years older than me (me:17, he: 20) and is only in the weekends at home. First I thought my crush would go away but now it is getting serious. I don't see the brother often, even better I never talked with him in person. Only when I am skyping with Jim and the brother is in the same room. Jim and his brother are very tight and I don't even know if the brother actually likes me back. But am I a bad person if I would make a move or try to get the brother's attention? Should I tell Jim? But I just feel akward around that subject because I really think Jim likes me. Any if I should make a move, how can I do that without hurting Jim? And how can I make the brother notice me?

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,467 • Replies: 7

@MooraBx,

I doubt if a 20 year old is going to notice his little brother's girlfriend in the way you want.

No way will he cross that line.

You have a crush. Fantasy. Ain't gonna happen.

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@MooraBx,

You can't in any way have a relationship with the brother without Jim being hurt by it. Worse, if his brother notices you in that way(doubtful) and wants to act on it(even more doubtful), despite the fact you are a minor(still) and also the friend and apparently love interest of his little brother, the guy is, pardon my french, a bit of a huge d*ck.

And would you want to go out with a bit of a huge d*ck, despite having a crush on him?

This thing can't lead to anything, so put it out of your head.

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@MooraBx,

I think that as his brother is older, this is your crush. We tend to like the "older" boys when young, a sense of that they have more street smart, wiser, older, more mature looking lots of reasons.

I Jim is your "best friend" you wouldn't be asking this question as best friends do not do anything they know "may" hurt the other person.

You skye every day, hang out weekends he thinks of you as his girlfriend but probably not sure how you feel so has never asked, just taking it easy as you are both 17.

So you know it would hurt him.

What you see is what you want Jim to be, so why not give him a chance, they are brothers, they would have some simular mannerisms and ways.

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All three thanks for the replie! I wasn't sure but because of you I really know it would be wrong. But I can't get the brother out of my head. And I kinda feel guilty that when Jim talks about his brother my heart starts raising. I always fall hard in love when I fall in love. I'm afraid I won't be able to maintain my friendship with Jim because I know I will secretly hope I can talk to the brother even if it's just 2 sentences. And that is not fair to Jim. How could I try to be less in contact with Jim but still remaining the friendship with him and then Peter (without Peter noticing what's going on) ?

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Just think: as Jim ages, he becomes more like big brother. You are just attracted to an older version of Jim.

You can let Jim know you are not able to move the relationship to anything more than being friends. Keep your reasons to yourself. No need to bring Peter into this at all.

At 17, you will have many "crushes" come into your life. Enjoy the fantasy, but don't feel you have to act on every feeling you have. These feelings are not "love."

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@MooraBx,

MooraBx wrote:

I always fall hard in love when I fall in love.

you're a 17 yo with a crush on someone who doesn't really know she exists - other than as a friend of his brother

leave it alone

__

do you spend real-life time with Jim and Peter? focus on that - cut back on skyping etc

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@MooraBx,

I'd try and solve it like this I suppose:
a) meet less at Jim's place, or avoid it at all if possible. That way, you minimize the odds of meeting Jim's brother.
b) Meet Jim just as much as before (why not? He's done nothing wrong here, so why seek less contact with him?), but do more things with Peter and Jim together, so as a group of three.

Good luck with all of this!

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I think my best friend likes me but I like his brother

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