10
   

Why has she ceased speaking to me?

 
 
JimmyJ
 
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 05:11 am
I will try to be as detailed as possible here.

I started talking to this girl that I met at the university that I attend. We had a lot in common. We both had just gotten out of long term relationships in which we were cheated on. We liked a lot of the same things. She actually was the one who initiated the conversation and the process of us getting closer. She used to invite me to her house and what not and we would play video games and watch game of thrones and stuff like that. We texted each other all the time. Mind you, I'm no fool. I didn't usually initiate the texting or wanting to hang out because I didn't want her to feel as though I was smothering or overbearing (plus I was still going through a rough emotional imbalance myself). But we finally did go on a few dates and we kissed and stuff and everything was good (this lasted about two weeks). One day we were studying together and what not and she randomly just said "bye" in a friendly voice and left (semi-rudely). I was a bit flustered/taken aback by this. I have not texted her since that day and she hasn't texted me. It's been over a week since we have spoken (she usually texted me every day). I haven't made the mistake that most guys make in which I call/text repeatedly and push them even further away. I've attempted no communication whatsoever. Truthfully, I'm not that upset about the whole thing. I'm just curious as to what may have happened (though I do miss talking to her because I didn't think I could bond with someone on that level ever again after my ex)? Logically speaking, another guy coming into the picture seems most likely.

Any ideas?
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Type: Question • Score: 10 • Views: 6,774 • Replies: 214

 
BillRM
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 05:55 am
@JimmyJ,
Quote:
Any ideas?


Sure picked up the phone an call her in a very friendly manner and just ask her what the deal happen to be as you have greatly enjoyed her company and have been missing it.

You will not get any answers from us as the only one who can explain what had happen is the woman in question and you have nothing to loss by doing so.

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 07:40 am
@JimmyJ,
I would not hazard a guess. Perhaps you could describe the last few things that were said or done just before she left. Young adults after a breakup are pretty volatile and vulnerable. Perhaps she scared herself as felt she was getting too close. She might not have known what to do so she panicked and bolted?

Like I said, a guess is fairly useless. If your only just curious, then perhaps you could let it pass without inquiry. However if it's more important to you and you like and miss her, call her and get together as friends. Ask her what happened without any defensiveness or guilt on your part.
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  4  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 08:08 am
@JimmyJ,
You admitted to playing hard to get as you (your claim) never initiate the daily communication and you're wondering why she (possibly) finally gave up on you or at least is taking a break socially with you?

Maybe she figures that you aren't that interested in her so she decided to move on. Maybe she realized she isn't that interested in you so she moved on. And as another poster already mentioned here: try contacting her once or twice and finding out how she feels about you and your relationship with her. A little healthy interest can go a long way.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  5  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 08:58 am
@JimmyJ,
Here is what you need to do. Go on the internet and ask a bunch of strangers to read her mind to find out why she ceased speaking to you. They will actually know this info because she communicated this to all of us while leaving you totally in the dark. Doing this will certainly give you the answer you seek.

Or of course you can grow a pair of balls and ask her. Which option do you think gives you the best bet for getting an explanation?
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 10:13 am
@JimmyJ,
Jimmy - you said you two were studying and she just got up and said goodby. Go back to that conversation and try to figure out what you might have said that resulted in her not wanting to communicate with you any more.

I find that some fellas let out some kind of obnoxious remark that is a TOTAL turn-off to certain girls - and that's it. I can remember a few situations myself when a guy did or said ONE something and that was IT for him. (Granted, I was very young, but that's what young girls do)

Call her and tell her you are afraid you may have said or done something that offended her and would she like to get together to discuss it.

Do NOT text this very important message to her.

(Be prepared for a brutal confrontation in a conversation that could put blame on a range from bad breath to a comment you made. )


Good luck.

JimmyJ
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:16 pm
@CoastalRat,
I notice everyone on here was attempting to give helpful advice. I then came across your post and noticed that you were being a douche. Why is this?
JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:18 pm
@PUNKEY,
We literally were not speaking when she got up and left. I don't feel as though I said or did anything. A lot of you are speaking as though I'm too "scared" to talk to her or whatever, which is not the case (as I somewhat alluded to in my initial post). The reason I don't talk to her and ask her is because I figure if she's able to just shut me down and not talk to me so easily she isn't worth my stressing about it. I just came here to see if any of you could give me some basic insight as to why this may be (mainly looking for female opinions).
PUNKEY
 
  7  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:22 pm
@JimmyJ,
well, it seems like you have made up your mind that you are not going to stress out about this and can let it go. So why ask us about it?

Yes, most of us gave advice about how to remedy the situation, but if you don't care, then we shouldn't either.

BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:32 pm
@JimmyJ,
Quote:
not talk to me so easily she isn't worth my stressing about it. I just came here to see if any of you could give me some basic insight as to why this may be (mainly looking for female opinions).


LOL male or female it does not matter if you care to know you would need to picked up a damn phone an ask the one person in the world that happen to know why.

As someone had just posted if you do not care then forget it and go on with your life.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:41 pm
@JimmyJ,
Jimmy, if she isn't worth stressing about, leave it alone. Or, just check in with her to see if is was actually something you did or didn't do. I'm not telling you to salvage this friendship, but you might learn something you were not aware of before. That being said, the info might be useless, or petty but perhaps you might learn something that will benefit you in the future.
( I certify that this is a female opinion from me, a female)
JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:44 pm
@PUNKEY,
I asked you about to so that I could perhaps know a little more about why a woman would do something like this.

Do not mistake "not stressing about it" for "not caring". I simply want to know what to look for next time or what to do differently so that this doesn't happen again.
JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:48 pm
@glitterbag,
Also, any sort of information that I should add to help answering this?


And yeah, glitterbag and Punkey are both saying I should just leave it alone if I'm not stressing about it. Here's the thing, though. When I don't get closure on things I seem to think about them more often. Since this happened abruptly and with no explanation I feel as though it never came to an "end". Hopefully that makes sense.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:48 pm
@JimmyJ,
Quote:
I simply want to know what to look for next time or what to do differently so that this doesn't happen again.


An the problem you have with spending a few minutes and asking the one person in the world that would know for sure is WHAT??????????????

Shaking my head over this as it does not make any sense at all!!!!!!!!
JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:50 pm
@BillRM,
1. I don't have her phone number any more and she's a year behind me in our degree so she's not in any of my courses.

2. I don't want to come off as someone who couldn't take a hint.
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 12:56 pm
My bet is that you said something and she wrote you off.

Your job is to figure out what it was. That's why I said, go back and try to figure out what you said or did that last day.

I can't believe you don't have a CLUE.

(PS I think you have all the means to find out her phone number or how to contact her. It's a campus, right? You could also ask a mutual friend if they know what happen. Stop coming off as so dense. )

CoastalRat
 
  4  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:00 pm
@JimmyJ,
Because I can. And because your question is stupid. Your question, if I may quote it for you, was "Why has she ceased speaking to me?" How in the name of sense are we supposed to know?

So I was direct and to the point. Talk to her. Not to us. We cannot help you because anything we say is simply a wild guess. We do not know her. We do not know you. We were not there. Grow up and have an adult conversation with her. This is pretty much what everyone here has said. I was just a bit more blunt about it because, well, because I chose to be. If you choose to believe I am being a douche, that is no skin off my back. I'm sure I'll be crying about that all night tonight.

JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:01 pm
@PUNKEY,
The thing is, everything was fine. We had a completely platonic relationship for the most part (other than cuddling and kissing a few times). I said literally nothing. We studied together (like we have before), I put my headphones in and she put hers in and then she randomly left.

The campus has 40,000 students on it.... We have 0 mutual friends. I had introduced her to a few of my friends, but they wouldn't have her number. Try not to condescend to me as if I didn't think of the blatantly obvious answer of "ask her". If that option were on the table I wouldn't have come to this forum lol.
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:03 pm
@BillRM,
I guess you are about to join be in being called a douche, Bill. Welcome to the club.
0 Replies
 
JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:03 pm
@CoastalRat,
Obviously the heading to the question was just a title and more details were in the question. If more details are needed to give some insight I can give that to (as mentioned earlier).

If you had read any of my posts you'd know that I don't have communication with her any more. If you don't have anything constructive or insightful to add you should just not respond at all. <---That's even more obvious than "ask her" as a response to my question.
 

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